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Concerns for mother in home

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ramboghettouk

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my moms in an elderly mentally ill home, doctor said dementia is when you lose control of that part of the brain that controls behaviour, felt the dr got something out of telling me that

the home seems worse than highcroft, it's a private home the house was sold to pay for it so looks like i'll be stuck on means tested benefits without an inheritence worrying in a selfish way

She keeps on saying she wants to die, i went up to brum to visit her a few weeks ago, she said the staff don't get much more than me, i said they'd get they're income topped up, i was shouting as she's deaf, how to make yourself popular

One time i visited it was medication time, one women started refusing, i've seen it in highcroft people getting difficult knowing theres a visitor to notice if the staff get heavy
 
calypso

calypso

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Rambo, this is terrible. If you are concerned, don't be afraid to call in the inspectors. I'll look up where to find the number in a moment. They will keep it confidential as far as you are concerned. In the meantime, make a diary of events and times and dates. Being afraid that staff may get heavy handed is awful!!!

I would bet my bottom dollar that they have limited training in dementia. The Inspectors are getting very heavy on these places. If she is saying she wants to die, she is saying that she is very upset and frightened. This can be abuse.

Abuse isn't just someone being hit, which most people think it is, its also emotional, verbal, aggression, also being ignored, not having needs met, physically being pushed into things you don't want to do like going to bed early.

I really think you need to be her advocate here Rambo. Someone living with dementia says things which are relevant and should still be listened to. Just because they have dementia doesn't mean they can't be heard. YOu have given me an idea - I am going to start a thread on abuse here. Have you read the article I wrote on the front page of the forum?

Don't forget, although it seems like a lot of work, you are fully entitled to move your mum to somewhere much better. If you feel this is too much for you, you can contact the social services and ask them for help here. Honestly, please don't leave this as it is. Your mum shouldn't be suffering like this.

I'm going to make this post a new thread too as it brings up a lot of other issues.
 
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clouds

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I'm so sorry Rambo and can understand your concerns, honestly and sincerely, and sorry, can't really add to what calypso is saying but will think of your Mum and you very much x
 
calypso

calypso

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Found the place to complain Rambo - Care Quality Commission | Homepage Don't be afraid to get them to do the work for you. Just tell them your concerns and they will do a surprise inspection. The place I worked we were inspected twice a year, but then we encouraged inspections so we could get better at what we did, which is unusual in this field.

You know the first thing you have to change in a nursing home for people living with dementia? Its the kitchen! They dictate the times of everything and that means good care, adjusted to the individual, goes out of the window.
 
calypso

calypso

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If you do leave it to your sister, then pass the information on to her, will you Rambo? Maybe she can look out for your mother.
 
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ramboghettouk

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what information my sister knows just has never been inside so can't relate

When i complained about the problem kids on one estate the caretaker was one of the problem families it got back to the kids, if you complain thats what happens
 
calypso

calypso

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No Rambo, that's not honestly. That is why I suggested you or your sister call in CQC as they will do all the work for you. You won't be even named. Just saying Rambo.
 
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ramboghettouk

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remember at school some kid would complain about the bullying after a while the teachers who basically wanted a quiet life would just ignore him, at the end of the 4th yr he had a nervous breakdown, that is my experience of people who complain

maybe i'd have been better off complaining about the bullying

since you've been on about alcoholism, i've been drinking if you don't accept theres a problem theres one if you do acccept theres a problem theres one reminds me of shrinks and insight
 
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