• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Concerned Newbie needing advice

E

emotionallydrained

Member
Joined
Aug 19, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Houston
Hi, I joined this forum in hopes of finding out how I can help my sister. She is losing it and is very paranoid. She thinks everyone thinks shes crazy and out to get her. Her husband (soon to be ex) and her 2 grown sons want nothing to do with her. Long story short, she has always had a problem with thinking people don't like her, are out to get her, or are talking about her and saying she's crazy. She has been in and out of her families life over the years because she pulls away because she thinks we hate her.

The past 6 months, she left her husband and came back to her family. She has told all of us that her husband and sons are spying on her, they are trying to do things to make her think she's crazy. At first all of us in her family believed everything she was telling us but now, we are all beginning to think that she does in fact have some form of mental issue.... and she has driven her husband and sons away with all of her accusations of them. She thinks her husbands family has hired people to run her off the road, to break into her apt and move things around. She says her husband has stolen all her account passwords and she can't do anything on her computer or her phone without her husband knowing exactly what she's doing. She thinks they have put camera's in her apt to spy on her. When she talks to us on the phone, she yells and says, "yeah, are you listening to this. (referring to her husband) Keep it up and I'm going to call the cops because spying on someone is against the law."

My sister in law helped her get a job working for a dog walker and she was going to people's houses to take care of their animals. She went to one of the houses to take care of these rabbits. Well the rabbits somehow got out. So she went upstairs and shut all the bedroom doors, then heard something downstairs, went down to look and didn't find anything. She said she went back upstairs and all the bedrooms doors that she had just closed were open. She immediately left the house and called the people and told them her soon to be ex husband was in their house and doing weird things and they might want to be careful because he may be hiding in the house somewhere. Well needless to say, that person was freaking out and called the owner of the business to tell her what my sister had said. The lady that owned the business, was so upset (which is very understandable) and texted my sister and told her she had some mental issues and needed help. My sister immediately said that my brother and his wife set her up and must of talked to her husband. She now hates my brother and says he's out to get her.

She has done so many things out of fear of someone watching her and following her. She pulled her rear view mirror off of her car and it literally took part of the windshield when she pulled the bracket on the rear view mirror. She said it had this little box on it and it was some kind of a camera. We told her it wasn't a camera, but it was part of the rear view mirror that displays the temperature outside and direction her car is going. She now says that her husband has hired people at her apt to follow her when she leaves and is trying to run her off the road.

At this point, all of us in her family want to help her. But if we tell her we think she is having some kind of a mental breakdown or mental issue and needs help, she will immediately think we've all talked to her husband and her sons. What do we do? We all want to talk to her husband and boys to see what has been going on and when it all started. She is so paranoid that we have talked to them. She asks all of us all the time if we've talked to her husband or boys. At this point, we haven't talked to them. But we kinda feel we need to at this point. But on the other hand, since they are going through a divorce, we think if we talk to her husband and boys, it may hurt her in the divorce and her husband can use it against her. So we think at this point in time, it's best we do not contact them.

She tells us that her husband keeps telling her she's crazy and needs help. Her boys, neither one want anything to do with her. Her oldest son has threatened to get a restraining order on her if she contacts him further. She says all of them tell her shes crazy and then she comes right back and says she KNOWS shes NOT crazy. She repeats that statement over and over again.

Like I said, at first, all of us in her family just thought her husband was out to get her and keep her from getting half of their community property. We all thought he was just trying to push her over the edge. But now....after 6 months of seeing her and listening to her, we all think maybe she does have some kind of a mental issue and we don't know what to do to help her.

She has no job, she was a stay at home mom. We have a family business and we told her we would hire her temporarily until she can find a better paying job. She came to work for about 6 weeks. She was so upset and paranoid all the time she couldn't concentrate on working (answering the phone and taking messages) so she wanted some time off. That's been 2 months ago. She's racked up all of her credit cards and she buys things she doesn't need. She's also a hoarder. Her apt is a complete mess and finding anything would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. But yet she claims her husband and boys come into the apt and move things around to make her think she's crazy. If someone moved something in her apt, I don't know how you would even know it was moved because of the mess and all the stuff she has everywhere.

I could go on and on about all the things she's been doing, but it would literally be a novel. So I will stop with this and just ask.....what can we do to help her? She needs some kind of help and we all know if we did an intervention of some kind, she would leave. She has talked of "offing" herself because she thinks it would be easier for everyone involved. So we don't want to do anything that would push her over the edge. But something needs to be done. Soon! But what? Please, if anyone has any ideas on what we can do, please let me know. I am emotionally drained with all of this and worried for her. TIA
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 6, 2017
Messages
1,358
Location
Sheffiield
I'm not a doctor so I can't diagnose her but I can tell you this, when I was severely paranoid about the safety of my family it was down to psychosis.

My family called an ambulance and the police came out to make sure I was safe before the ambulance took me into hospital where I was assessed and asked to volunteer to go on a ward for acute mental disorders for a few days or they would section me for up to a month, I chose to volunteer if you can call it that, didn't seem like much of a choice to me.

Perhaps it's time to have her sectioned, especially if she may be a danger to herself while they find some medication that will work for her, anti-psychotics may sound scary but all they do is lower the reuptake of Dopamine but I believe they'd be the best thing for her at this time as they have been for me.
 
E

emotionallydrained

Member
Joined
Aug 19, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Houston
How does one go about having someone sectioned? Here where we live, they won't let you commit anyone anymore. You have to have a Dr do it I think. No way will she agree to even getting evaluated without someone forcing her to do it. I talked to my dad this morning and he says there isn't much we can do unless she is on board with us and will agree that she needs help. She has said over and over again, that she knows she's not crazy. She says that everyone is just trying to make her think she is.

I'm debating talking to her attorney in the divorce. I went with her to this attorney when she filed and she told him he could talk to me. So I think he will talk to me. I just want him to know what we as a family think is going on so that he can get more spousal support for her from her husband. In the state we live in, that will come into play and it could get her more money from him. No way can she work and take care of herself. She's not capable mentally at this point in time.

I'm just so torn as to what to do and how to help her. I don't want to do anything to push her over the edge or hurt her. But right now....she's hurting herself and she doesn't even know it.
 
Inter Vivos

Inter Vivos

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 30, 2014
Messages
272
Location
UK
Speak to a medical doctor about this matter.
 
E

emotionallydrained

Member
Joined
Aug 19, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Houston
I agree, she needs to see a medical Dr but there is no way she will agree to go. That’s one of my major concerns. If we ask her to get help, she will accuse us of talking to her husband and say he got to us. What would help is knowing how we can get her to a dr without her fighting us. She will fight us. How can we get this to happen?

I’ve thought about talking a Dr on my own about her. But with all the heppa laws, how can I do this? I’m open to any suggestions.
Speak to a medical doctor about this matter.
 
LizBo

LizBo

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
381
Location
Down-under
Hi and welcome @emotionallydrained

Your sister sounds in need of urgent support from professionals who can assess and treat her. As has been suggested, being sectioned could be the right road to take, but as you're afraid of her response to you, it may require a creative approach.

In Australia we have a Mental Health Crisis Hotline we can call to ask for help either for ourselves or a loved one. I'm wondering if you have similar in your state. As she's threatened suicide, there's cause for alarm and intervention.

To my knowledge, the only authority other than medical/psychiatric personnel to section people are the police. In such cases there's usually a history of violence or aggression.

There's also the option of talking with staff on a psychiatric ward for suggestions. They may let you speak with the attending psychiatrist for more help.

I truly feel for you and your family; I couldn't imagine having to cope with your situation myself.

I wish you a speedy solution. :hug1:

Kind thoughts;
Liz
 
E

emotionallydrained

Member
Joined
Aug 19, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Houston
Hi and welcome @emotionallydrained

Your sister sounds in need of urgent support from professionals who can assess and treat her. As has been suggested, being sectioned could be the right road to take, but as you're afraid of her response to you, it may require a creative approach.

In Australia we have a Mental Health Crisis Hotline we can call to ask for help either for ourselves or a loved one. I'm wondering if you have similar in your state. As she's threatened suicide, there's cause for alarm and intervention.

To my knowledge, the only authority other than medical/psychiatric personnel to section people are the police. In such cases there's usually a history of violence or aggression.

There's also the option of talking with staff on a psychiatric ward for suggestions. They may let you speak with the attending psychiatrist for more help.

I truly feel for you and your family; I couldn't imagine having to cope with your situation myself.

I wish you a speedy solution. :hug1:

Kind thoughts;,
Liz
Thank you for your kind words and compassion. Unfortunately here in the US, it's not as easy. I live in Texas and here, we can't just commit someone. My step brothers mother in law is really bad and living with him and my sister in law. They want to put her somewhere because she is not rational and talks to herself, think she's living in another city, thinks her husband is still alive. They have tried to put her in a facility and they can't do it. She has to agree to it. So with my sister, it's the same way. It used to be you could have someone committed if they were a danger to themselves or not living in reality. Not anymore. My sister hasn't been diagnosed with anything at this point other than she does have a doctor she sees and they have her on adderall.(spelled wrong) I truly believe that the medication she's on may be part of her problem or making her problem worse. Her husband and one of her sons, went to the doctor that had her on this medication and they tried to intervene and get her to get off of it. Well, the doctor wasn't supposed to talk to them. They just showed up at one of her appointments. My sister saw them in the parking lot talking to the doctor. She got mad and left the appointment. They saw her as she was leaving and tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen to them. This happened after she and her husband separated. Needless to say, this whole thing is very sticky situation and no matter what happens, she's going to be mad at whoever intervenes and tries to get her help with a doctor.

I might look into talking to some one (a doctor) to see if there is anything we can do for her. This whole thing is heart breaking and scary for all of us. I truly appreciate all the comments and help. Thanks to all of you :)
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
G Introduce Yourself 2
A Introduce Yourself 4
D Introduce Yourself 3
C Introduce Yourself 7
S Introduce Yourself 7
Top