compulsive sharing after years of silence

ThinkInYellow

ThinkInYellow

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
22
Location
Canada
#1
Growing up I truly didn’t realize how fucked up my life was. It’s only in recent years that I’ve realized it and noticed just how much of PTSD is oppressive silence. There was so much that I was instructed to never tell. There was so much fear of telling. Pressure from others, from myself. I forced myself to stop considering my own feelings for years because my life had no room for them.

Ever since I left home and started to learn how not normal my experiences were and realize that I was finally free, for the first time in my life, to feel and process what I needed I have begun to compulsively share all of my feelings and some of the more low key abusive and neglectful experiences of mine. Even meeting people for the first time, it’s like I have the internal geyser that explodes from me when I start to think of my past.

I guess it makes sense that finally feeling like I can feel, and share, and process my brain just wants to jump at every opportunity but it’s gotten to the point that I can’t stop myself. Inside I’m screaming to stop but I just have too much inside to hold it back. What do I do to stop? How do I process in a healthy way? I thought it would go away by now. Has anyone else ever had this experience?
 
C

Chris Walken

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2014
Messages
268
Location
Eire
#2
Has anyone else ever had this experience?
I did, actually. I'm afraid I can't be a lot of use to ye, however. I just vaguely remember a point, now, when I too had to jabber away at people; Telling them what I had. How I felt. Watching the growing look of curled lip horror freezing on their faces. Till they'd abruptly remember some deadly urgent appointment and flee.

Guaranteed to break the ice at parties :rolleyes:

That would have been quite some years ago now. Now? I live reclusively and speak to very few people, about anything. It suits me.

Recently though, I found myself a captive audience and, losing the run of myself, blurted out the whole incident. Then, promptly folded up in myself and was in a very unpleasant place. Shouldn't have done that.

But, yeah; It may well be a phase we go through then? I did. Maybe its a pressure relief valve for our minds? Trying to bottle it up, initially is probably just more than the psyche can stand? Dunno.

But, there's ye starter for ten.
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
1,599
Location
USA
#3
I think it's only natural to want to get all the toxins out.There's nothing wrong with it,it's much better than holding it all in.I think though,after awhile,it will all calm down and you won't feel the need to share so much or so often.That's how it has been for me.