Its not the person..its the personality..and that is something you cannot change. So Someone says to you 'change your personality.'be out going when you are shy or vice versa...no one can do this.
Actually I wholly disagree, shyness and lieing can all be a part of lack of self esteem or originate from other issues, which I feel and have seen being rectified with some confidence building, and appropriate treatment. One of my friends used to deal with extreme shyness, however you wouldn't know it now her circumstances have changed and she grew in confidence. I think if you tell someone that they can never change you are unneccessarily condemning them.
Maybe your wife would like to stop...maybe if you try to understand she is just wanting to draw attention to herself.
How do you know that she is doing it to draw attention to herself? If you looked at the link I posted there are a whole variety of reasons that people may lie. It is not always about attention seeking. You do not know her, and my response to mudman was to approach it in a questioning way rather than an accusatory way. Presuming the cause of lieing can actually be very damaging.
If she wants to stop ...you could suggest some counselling but she has to want to, not YOU.
I do agree with that, however I see no harm in letting her know that it is effecting her marital relationship as well as the relationships with her friends and children.
Let people you know understand she is not doing it on purpose..and that she gets confused.
Again how do you know that? Everyone is different.
To argue or point it out in a criticsing way will just damage her self esteem further.
As I said in my post, question don't accuse, and I think in response to other posts on this thread mudman55 had already said that accusing is not the way he would like to approach the situation.
Love her and love her lies and you might find more peace with her and yourself.
If that is how you choose to deal with your relationship with your daughter then go ahead, but everyone has different limits. Plus if my friends had not challenged some of my issues, I would not be the happy person I am now. It may well be that his wife is unhappy about lieing so much, but does not know how to approach it. Sometimes understanding, and helping someone overcome some of their issues can actually be of benefit to them in many aspects of their lives. Sometimes just throwing your hands up in the air and saying 'whatever' may be the easiest but is not always the best way.
to the forum.
