Committed again...

[sweet insanity]

I haven´t been writing for a while....The last few months I got worse...spiraling deeper and deeper into the depression...Quitting the meds and all.....so I had to be committed....and its really helping me....the calmness and no stress....but my son is really angry with me....he is only 6 and it makes me very unhappy....Have any of you experienced the same situation?....and what did you do about it?....any advice?

 

[lucid scream]

hi hi S.I., if by committed you mean locked in a psychiatric ward, then yes. committed in the states usually refers to a permanent placement in a psychiatric hospital, so i apologize if i misunderstand, but i have found a few of my stays at the hospital to be a great relief and it was great to be removed to a comparatively stress free environment, but it take a great toll on my family, meaning my wife and 2 young (4 and 6) daughters. i love them very much as im sure you do yours, and its because of them i stay on my meds, because ive found that without the meds i dont stay free long. but the meds suck, i agree. i wish there was another way and there may be but i havent found it yet.`

so i suppose thats what i do about it, though i am far from a position where i could offer you better advice, i stay on the meds, and talk to my peeps here who understand. its all i have, that and my family that i do it for.

keep coming around. were always here, sharing your struggle.

 

[sweet insanity]

Thank you for your reply....
It is a voluntary stay at the ward...Sorry didn´t knew the correct term...I´m from Denmark...and here you can voluntary be committed after a talk with the attended doctor at the emergency room...I´m connected to a place called a district psychiatric department....it´s a place where you can talk to a nurse every week and the nurse confers with the head doctor about your case....so it was in agreement with the nurse I got committed....
But how did you get on with your wife and kids when you were committed....
Were your kids mad at you? What did it do to you.....

Sorry if I´m getting to personally....just reply with what you want to share....


PS: Do you listen to tool...It just looked like that when I saw your image?

 

[lucid scream]

Thank you for your reply....
It is a voluntary stay at the ward...Sorry didn´t knew the correct term...I´m from Denmark...and here you can voluntary be committed after a talk with the attended doctor at the emergency room...I´m connected to a place called a district psychiatric department....it´s a place where you can talk to a nurse every week and the nurse confers with the head doctor about your case....so it was in agreement with the nurse I got committed....
But how did you get on with your wife and kids when you were committed....
Were your kids mad at you? What did it do to you.....

Sorry if I´m getting to personally....just reply with what you want to share....


PS: Do you listen to tool...It just looked like that when I saw your image?

i love Tool, one of my favorite bands.

my wife was sort of mad at me, more at the situation i guess, because i left her alone for a while. the kids were still very young, the last time was in 2005, but they still talk about the time daddy went away, and for a long time got very upset if i left the house alone.
my oldest daughter is 6 now, and i know if it were to happen now she would be VERY mad at me. its the age i think.

i guess its like any other bad thing that happens, sweet, the best you can do now is pick up the pieces. i just....went home. i loved my wife and kids, helped around the house, played with them. your children just want to know you didnt leave because you were mad at THEM or dont love them, kids are very self-centered at that age, its how theyre supposed to be. they just want to know that what happened didnt happen because of something they did, and that now that its over, you still love them.
in my opinion, anyway.

 

[sweet insanity]

You sound very knowledgeable about how and why children act as they do...It is really sound advice...I will take it to heart...
I was just discharged today...so know I hope I can cope with a very angry little kid...and a husband who is very tired....

So how do I stay well enough not to get committed again this time...the meds still haven´t got time to work their magic...

Any advice Lucid...

PS: I love tool too especially 10000 days...have you seen them live? I haven´t

 

[lucid scream]

no, i never saw them live either

lotsa vids on youtube though. (unrelated, like a lotta freaks (Marylin Manson, Trent Reznor, me) Maynard is from NE Ohio!)

how to keep it from happening again, well thats a little tougher, isnt it? we dont plan for it. but, ive found that since ive been taking my meds, i havent been back to lockdown. every time ive stopped them, ive gone to lockdown. so, even though it sucks, i take my meds religiously. but they have always given me something that works immediately untill my regular meds kick in, ativan and klonipin.
if they didnt give you anything like that, i guess all you can do is keep yourself busy, which i know isnt the easiest thing to do right now. you have your child, and you have some healing to do WITH him, so all i can suggest is to concentrate on that.
peace and good luck.

 

[Mitch]

Hey. I'm a dad of a gorgeous 5yr old, & for the last week, I've been concentating on that 'one thing' I have with her.

You know what I mean by that 'one thing'.

That single simple thing that only a child can give to it's parent.

For me it's that 'sound' she makes, when she puts her thumb in her mouth as she holds her 'B' (blanket) as I give her a huggle (cuddle) at bed-time.

I love it, especially as NOT even her mum (we're now apart) gets that from her.

Point I'm trying to make to make is, our children may be disappointed with us, but 'those' moments assure them of our love.

Concentrate on those moments. They far outweigh the negatives.

Peace X

 

[sweet insanity]

I think maybe you get the highs and lows worse than I do, Lucid...I just get very depressed for months at a time and then followed by a high that last from one week till 6 months....
So that is why they never give me the heavy meds...
I think that sucks at times...like now, where I have to keep my own sobriety untill the meds kick in....
I don´t know what to do around my son...I can feel I´m slipping...hope I can cope anyways....I asked my husband to work less for a couple of days so I can catch my breath....
My son is home now...he caught a cold....I don´t know what to do with him...it´s like a wall that I have set up around me...I hope I can break it down...seems hard though and I have no idea how to do it.....
I do cuddle him and it makes me happy but you can only cuddle for so long...and I want more positive contact during the day not only 2 minutes or so....

Any thoughts or ideas?

PS: I love Perfect Circle too...Have you heard them...They are dissolved now

 

[herbie]

I have a 7 year old son although I'm separated from his mum and he lives with her now. He sometimes (more so now as he's getting a bit older) gets angry with me for leaving, and I just have to explain to him that it isn't because I don't love him, it's because I have an illness and it means that I can't always look after him properly and be a good dad for him. I think as he gets older he will understand better - sometimes I think children understand better than other adults do. Whenever I phone him up the first thing he always says is "Are you feeling better today daddy?" and it just brings me to tears sometimes. I miss him so much.

 

[sweet insanity]

I know exactly how you are feeling Herbie....It´s damn hard to be the parent who just cant be there...
Now that I´m home things are getting better...he actually said he liked me better than his dad, today...big thing....though I know that tomorrow it will be the opposite, but for now I´m happy, so I grab hold of that feeling like someone said to do, and I nurture myself....

Hope things will look up for you also Herbie....

 

[lucid scream]

im SO glad to hear that sweet, i have a feeling things will be ok with you. kids are very resilient. problem with the little shits is they tell it like it is, which can be painfull, but in the end you know exactly where you stand with them, unlike our dealings with adults...

 

[sweet insanity]

Thank you...yes our relationships with adults are very bad...if you don´t have this decease it is very hard to understand the aspects and the problems related to it....Hell we don´t always understand....And you are right children are very straight forward than adults....

I hope I will cope better this time...in fact I´m relaying on that....

 

[herbie]

Thankyou Sweet. yes I hope so too.