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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Come on then, what's your Bipolar creativity?

C

californiathoughts

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Feb 6, 2021
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I'm really into music, like, everything. I breathe it. Hypomania allows me to get feverishly into improvising and it feels like a drug. I've always got new music playing in my head that I can sometimes throw right down onto a piano roll.

Putting it this way seems kind of like romanticizing the condition; It's not as enjoyable as it sounds as this is usually coupled with a ton of anxiety, insomnia, racing throughts, and sometimes voices and paranoia soon after. It helps distract me from everything that's going on until everything becomes the distraction, if that makes sense.
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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A couple of years ago a Novella of about 18,500 words spewed out of me. I was clearly in some kind of episode, even now I don't know which, and so what came out was a fusion of me at that time and what I took in and did (I would go to the same place in the same park on the same day each week and would write about what I saw and how I saw it: the way the clouds looked; the way the trees changed through the seasons; the way people interacted with each other; the way my shoes felt as I walked down the high street) and then I developed parts of it, consciously, to make it more like the observer was losing his mind, growing more suspicious of being watched etc, because essentially, earlier on, I was!

I don't know if anyone has ever read it but the short story called "The Yellow Wallpaper" by Charlotte Perkins Gilman is what it kind of reminded me of once it was finished. A description of the world as I saw it whilst in an episode. First person perspective and all.

I know it came from me and you're not supposed to say it, but because it came from this other thing that lurks within me I've always found it really interesting, like I'm reading something that didn't come from me, but someone else. Maybe one day I'll try to get it published, huh!
 
N

Notsowiseoldowl

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Bedroom DJ. Learnt to mix years ago using vinyl and a pair of technics turntables though these days I tend to go digital using a control deck and serato dj software though have currently got to replace my control deck due to internal sound card becoming faulty. Looking to replace in a couple of weeks.
 
Pink

Pink

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Art. And even though I am not perfect with it, I do it because I find it relaxing.
 
Ghost_Owl

Ghost_Owl

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I disagree it is a good thing. Creativity has been just as damaging as delusional mania. I also personally resent this notion that my creativity comes from the bipolar and not myself. Not my own efforts and hard work to improve a craft. Efforts that have often been hamstrung by this stupid illness. I am not my illness. I take no positives from it. I don't see people who have battled through cancer glad it also helped them lose weight. I find this view entirely baffling.

What I have written at the most manic times is mostly fragmented rubbish that any publicist would bin after the first paragraph.
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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Good points Ghost.

I was always good at art, mainly enjoying it as a kid. Over the years I seemed to lose both the ability and the love of doing it. As an adult I went back to it twice, on separate occasions, properly trying to make a go of it as an artist. I did sell, but not nearly enough to keep my head above water on my own. Some of the stuff I produced in these two spells was good; some was absolutely terrible. At the time I thought they were good and that people would actually want to buy these things. It's only in looking back that you can see how delusional you really were because never in a right mind would I have thought many of those paintings were good.

I guess much of it comes from wanting to do things and having ideas and drive. Before you know it you're wanting to change jobs or what have you. So yeah, I certainly agree that it can very much be destructive as well as being a great outlet for the luckier ones.

(P.S: I still maintain that what I wrote was good, honestly! 😀 )
 
M

Mav2126

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Well they say this is the good thing about bipolar so let's hear it; what's your best creative side?
Does anyone find they seem a bit stuck on this, maybe because they havent done any music lessons, paint classes etc, do you feel a bit 'stuck' but know the creativity is there somewhere? x
I know that when I was in my hypomanic phase of bipolar II I started writing poems - it felt so good to be that creative. I never had done anything creative in my life so there were benefits to being manic.
 
T

toto

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One of the psychoses was unique. I painted the walls at home, at the same time I learned to sew on a machine, wrote poems, composed on FL and guitar. I still think I'm not schizoaffective, but bipolar.
 
M

Mob

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Mar 25, 2021
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Not sure if it's creative but I can connect dots and do research well. I use to write poems in my early 20s but haven't tried recently
 
M

Mob

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Like doing research and connecting dots betweens different pieces of info if that makes sense
 
T

TragicClown

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Mar 27, 2021
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I was creative way before my bipolar hit me like a cement truck at about 11-12 years old. I wouldn't owe my creativity to my bipolar as Ghost_Owl said above. It really made it harder to finish projects, learn new skills, and focus as I get older. I would refuse treatment worrying it would "kill my creativity". My manic projects are usually piles of un-focused and over-confident garbage when I come down.
But I was going to film school (during a period where I was accepting taking meds) and was trying to become a screenwriter. Half way through my degree I stopped my meds, went into denial, got severe depression and dropped out right when I had the opportunity to participate in a film festival to show my work. I am going to go back though because I started treatment again and am getting better at focusing and finishing stuff. Kinda hoping to redeem myself.
I also paint and sketch pretty well. I have ideas for sewing projects but never do them. I have a dresser full of fabric I never use. I used to knit. Music and photography was a huge part of my teen years. I like to dance even though I'm a fridge. lol. I sing in the shower. I think I have drawer full of stuff I invested money into when I was manic and then never did. Creativity is where I go manic/depressed or not.
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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Like doing research and connecting dots betweens different pieces of info if that makes sense
Ah okay, I thought so. See, I believe I do this too, but I don't know if it's really me being extremely good at that sort of stuff or me just believing that I'm extremely good thanks to delusional thinking or overconfidence etc. But I have a weird mind for patterns and stuff anyway and can really get into things and exhaust them when I'm not in an episode, just not to the extent or belief that an episode would bring.
Are you like it when you're 'normal' as well or just in episode?
 
M

Mob

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Ah okay, I thought so. See, I believe I do this too, but I don't know if it's really me being extremely good at that sort of stuff or me just believing that I'm extremely good thanks to delusional thinking or overconfidence etc. But I have a weird mind for patterns and stuff anyway and can really get into things and exhaust them when I'm not in an episode, just not to the extent or belief that an episode would bring.
Are you like it when you're 'normal' as well or just in episode?
Sorry about the late reply but yes it was mainly when I was in a manic episode. Sometimes I wonder if its delusional but I was always good at research even at university.
 
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