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College Depression

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TSPDX20

New member
Joined
Oct 19, 2019
Messages
1
Location
Portland
I’m a college student and I have been dealing with depression since high school. My education system growing up never taught me about mental health especially depression and anxiety, which I probably have both. I am in college now and have seen counselors about being sad and feeling unloved but it never really seems to help. I feel stuck and have no clue how to progress out of these feelings of self-doubt and negative thoughts. It’s hard to find comfort in others when loneliness takes control. I have plenty of friends but rarely feel wanted or cared about. What are some things I can do to fix these issues? Is this just my anxiety and worry or is something wrong with me? I just want to feel better.
 
T

The GlassInstitute

Active member
Joined
Oct 10, 2019
Messages
44
Location
England
I’m a college student and I have been dealing with depression since high school. My education system growing up never taught me about mental health especially depression and anxiety, which I probably have both. I am in college now and have seen counselors about being sad and feeling unloved but it never really seems to help. I feel stuck and have no clue how to progress out of these feelings of self-doubt and negative thoughts. It’s hard to find comfort in others when loneliness takes control. I have plenty of friends but rarely feel wanted or cared about. What are some things I can do to fix these issues? Is this just my anxiety and worry or is something wrong with me? I just want to feel better.
Hi,
Firstly I want to assure you that I've experienced a very similar situation myself. I know how dispairing it can make you feel.

Well done for seeking counselling. When first seeking help and attempting to navigate the road to more understanding it can be extremely daunting. It's important to remember that just because one counsellor hasn't been able to help, it doesn't mean it will always go this way.

Far from it, you will come across some mental health professionals who you will hit it off with and others you wont. It's the same for any relationship, whether it's professional or personal (I feel like mental health clinicians are a little mix of both these spheres.)

Therefore, it is perfectly okay to find another therapist or councellor if you don't feel like you're getting what you need. It's important to be patient though.

As for your feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, low self esteem etc. It's hard to keep in mind that you matter. The space you occupy in this world is valid and important. Practice reminding yourself to figure out your boundaries and stick to them. Wherever you go you are intitled to be there, regardless of how anyone else feels.

When you have trouble with feelings of a lack of control in your life, it can be helpful to go back to basics. Practice grounding techniques. When you begin do these things others will start to sense this in you.

Also, find out what you enjoy that is unique to you. What makes your heart race? What do you enjoy doing? It could be a particular music genre/band, a hobby, art & drawing, writing, reading etc. If you learn what's important to you, you can learn what type of person you want to be, and that will in turn help you identify those kindred spirits in those around you (your future friends).

In regards to the anxiety, there are techniques to minimize the negative impact it has on your life. For example, I still have to be vigilant because if I slack in my self-care, my positive coping techniques etc. I find that my anxiety flares up again.
You can learn to work around your anxiety to the point where it bearly affects you. This takes time and patience.

I know therapy can be very expensive, especially if you live in a country that doesn't have socialised health care. I do know of online therapy that isn't as expensive as face-to-face counselling.
If you feel you might want extra help you can look at BetterHelp | Professional Counseling With A Licensed Therapist
This service does have an option for finanical aid, which is basically a self-declaration based means testing that if you indentify as low-income you will be offered a discount. (it's not complicated or long, so don't worry.)

I also highly recommend a book that has helped me so much. It's basically therapy in a book. It's presented in a reader-friendly manner too. The book is "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris (you can get it on kindle if you prefer.)
 
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