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Codependency?

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darkangel55512

Guest
I have been diagnosed with anxiety/depression. But I also have another issue, which has been going on for quite some time now, and I have been on a search to figure out why I have been behaving and feeling this way. I did some research and came up with Codependency, and it seems I have the dependency part of it. My therapist was leaning on me being OCD or Bipolar, but after reading some things on codependency, I'm thinking it's more of that than anything else. I don't seem to have the care-taking or controlling part. Focusing on this one person.. a father figure..has been my distraction. Trying to hide it and fighting the urges to be around him, has been a miserable struggle. I am very self aware and know how I am behaving, I'm just having a hard time controlling it. Ever since this distraction, my suicidal thoughts have increased, and I am focused (24/7) on obtaining happiness from him. But why him? I feel very confused, ashamed, and guilty. I am a mess. Is anyone else having a problem with codependency as far as the dependency part? Are than any medications for people who have it to an extreme?


Dependency

Many codependents:
1. Don't feel happy, content, or peaceful with themselves.
2. Look for happiness outside themselves.
3. Latch onto whoever or whatever they think can provide happiness.
4. Feel terribly threatened by the loss of any thing or person they think proves their happiness.
5. Didn't feel love and approval from their parents.
6. Don't love themselves.
7. Believe other people can't or don't love them.
8. Desperately seek love and approval.
9. Often seek love from people incapable of loving.
10. Believe other people are never there for them.
11. Equate love with pain.
12. Feel they need people more than they want them.
13. Try to prove they're good enough to be loved.
14. Don't take time to see if other people are good for them.
15. Worry whether other people love or like them.
16. Don't take time to figure out if they love or like other people.
17. Center their lives around other people.
18. Look for relationships to provide all their good feelings.
19. Lost interest in their own lives when they love.
20. Worry other people will leave them.
21. Don't believe they can take care of themselves.
22. Stay in relationships that don't work.
23. Tolerate abuse to keep people loving them.
24. Feel trapped in relationships.
25. Leave bad relationships and form new ones that don't work either.
26. Wonder if they will ever find love.
 
iffybob

iffybob

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
4,858
Location
England
No enough info

Sorry but you dont give any personal onfo about yourself.

It may not sound important, but in the scope of you question,

Are you , male/female, age, relationship/interaction with this person etc...

There are too many answers with out any of this context....... and most of them will be wrong.

If you dont feel comfortable giveing this info that is fine, nobody here can or will make you.

Heads up ......... boB.......:)
 
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Apotheosis

Guest
1. Don't feel happy, content, or peaceful with themselves.
2. Look for happiness outside themselves.
3. Latch onto whoever or whatever they think can provide happiness.
To a degree - the above points about sums up the vast majority of people in the Western World. Most people, if honest, I would think could identify with a lot on that full list; to one degree or another.

Everyone is co-dependant to varying degrees.

It would appear that a lot of things come down to frames of reference & perspectives. The trick, I think, is in finding what perspective may actually be the truth. & that is something, I think, that can only come from the Inner Journey, & usually only won through a lot of hard struggle.
 
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Dollit

Guest
I think a lot of what you're say you're feeling can be dependent upon age or maturity. I think there's too much of a trend to throw labels at what are ordinary & normal emotional patterns and experiences.
 
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