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chronically depressed feeling total sadness and worry.

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lostwonderer12

Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2020
Messages
23
Location
toronto ontario
i have a persistent non stop depression filled with anxiety each and every single day. im lost and find myself ALWAYS worrying about harships in life. like losing my dad and my dog they have been gone for years but i cant let go of it. i worry about my mothers health she is having a hard time herself. i cry and panic they are not coming back and i can not come to terms with it. the rumination of sad unbearable thoughts is killing me. i dont understand how people can live normal lives. ive been a shut in for years. dont hangout with friends dont even hangout with family because when i see them i start thinking about thoughts of losing them or if i see my dog i start thinking how he might pass away soon to so i block myself off from family because that way i dont get even more attached to them incase something does happen to them it wont emotionally hurt as much even tho im at my limit. ive tried 2 antidepressants which did not work. this world is so sad and im not built for it in my current mental state. how are you suppose to accept that you lost a family member.......most people can put those thoughts in the back of there mind and go about there day and live normal lives. the only thing thats on my mind is sad unbearable thoughts that make you feel sick to your stomach. i cant even waolk by place I could hurt myself without getting a panic attack because i think imagine if i hurt myself and how scary it is to just be seconds away from something that could hurt you or end ur life! ( im not suicidal though) my mind is living in fear......when i try to read success stories or videos on youtube of peoples triumph over depression there always seems like theres a catch like there doing it for money. you see link in the decription of there video directing you to buy a certain suppliment, or this guy who said magic mushrooms brought him out of depression but than he has a link to sell mushroom grow kits! like who knows what to beleive. i dont do anything normal, i couldnt bear having a family of my own. if i had a kid i would just worry about what if he got kidnapped. im not built for relationships i have normal feelings but the depression and anxiety is unbearable. my brain is just rattled from thoughts
 
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karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
488
im sorry youre having such a tough time. i hope your depression passes soon. Be sure to remember it does and will pass. I used to have severe depression, it came and went in cycles. When I had it i thought i would never get better but you do. You got to remember that. You will get better. Therei is hope. PM me if you want any other help support. Also keep up posting here on the forum. There s many likeminded poeple here who understand and care.
 
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lostwonderer12

Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2020
Messages
23
Location
toronto ontario
ty for the reply ive tried for years to let it pass. the depression and anxiety is daily my friend. its a constant feeling of doom and it does not cycle unforunatley. i want to try another antidepressant again soon what has been your experience?
 
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lostwonderer12

Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2020
Messages
23
Location
toronto ontario
i think i seriously need medication. the days are filled with intense anxiety it is relentless. i spend my days on my hands and knees trying to breathe and calm down my anxiety. i try going for walks and the neighboors just see me as a crazy person walking really fast trying to breathe right..... this is out of control its been like this for 4 months..... im at a loss for words
 
whyohwhy

whyohwhy

Member
Joined
Jun 29, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Toronto
i think i seriously need medication. the days are filled with intense anxiety it is relentless. i spend my days on my hands and knees trying to breathe and calm down my anxiety. i try going for walks and the neighboors just see me as a crazy person walking really fast trying to breathe right..... this is out of control its been like this for 4 months..... im at a loss for words
I have the same issue. Xanax seems to work for me and will probably work for you to. I know a lot of people say not to take it and that it can be addictive but I been taking it for years with a doctors supervision and never had an addiction problem. Think of it like a physical illness like diabetes you need to take meds in order to cope. Just my 2 cents.
 
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