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Chronic Overthinking and indecisiveness

B

BpTyrant

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 8, 2017
Messages
290
It seems like as much as I try to relax and not worry about things; I always seem to end up unable to actually do it because when I have problems I focus on them so much

On that front it usually comes back to money; I don't care about being Rich, I just want to live comfortably and be able to afford my hobbies easier while keeping up with my bills

And the more I run into specific problems the more I feel defeated and afraid to even try again because it feels like it's never gonna end and no matter what I do; things aren't even going to head in a positive direction

I never even thought any of my hobbies would cause serious problems for me, but I guess I tried to hard, didn't do hours of research before trying to sell cards I knew weren't gonna sell for a super high price and thought people would understand "Offer"

Instead, I walk away feeling like they thought I was some sort of criminal mastermind trying to charge too much on purpose; because I'm expected to know everything.

And then I had tried trading and people were asking about stuff I didn't want to trade (even though I had extra copies anyways, I thought I could wait and get more later) so I thought I would say a value they thought was too high (price dropped recently so they wanted me to trade them cards at the much lower market price of the time) so they would stop bugging me

So inadvertently I'm known as being unfair, try to charge too much for my stuff, and not give fair value on anything else.

And then that whole bogus complaint on PayPal made it so I couldnt use my account for months; obviously people already on the fence that found out about that could take that as some sign that maybe they should look past me to others for what they need

This is especially a bigger thing since I havent got overtime in so long

All this still has me fearful to try selling again because I had tried to do a little selling over the last month to prepare myself for an upcoming layoff, and yet another instance of failing miserably.

It's like nobody is actually on my side and seems to have appreciated anything I do, and then theres the few troublesome ones that actively want me to fail because they hate me that much for making mistakes; because they dont see it as a mistake

They see it as me being incredibly calculating and trying to make moves that purely benefit me at the cost of people that dont know any better

So I cant even comfortably take a vacation during the layoff to relax and spend time with Family Members that actually treat me as Family Should

because I know money is gonna be tighter than normal, I've been constantly behind for months, and dipping into my hobby to sell things I didn't want to sell for prices lower than I would ever try to sell them at (if things were going better in my life) is just failing miserably.

At some point I guess you just gotta give up and wait for the tide to turn; I tried too hard before and clearly suffered greatly, simply because I made a few mistakes.

It seems like these people lack the ability to look past mistakes (to give somebody a chance before judging them) and probably jump to this conclusion with everybody that makes mistakes; so heaven forbid you make mistakes or you would suffer for it
 
calypso

calypso

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Hiya. What sort of cards are you trying to sell? I'm not clear why you over priced them? Was it because you needed the money?

Its awful when you feel people can't see beyond the immediate problem and support you. You say this is your hobby, I presume you like meeting people this way. I hope you can find a way through this and find a way to make money in future. Do you have a job? Its hard if you don't I understand that. I live on benefits also.
 
B

BpTyrant

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 8, 2017
Messages
290
Hiya. What sort of cards are you trying to sell? I'm not clear why you over priced them? Was it because you needed the money?

Its awful when you feel people can't see beyond the immediate problem and support you. You say this is your hobby, I presume you like meeting people this way. I hope you can find a way through this and find a way to make money in future. Do you have a job? Its hard if you don't I understand that. I live on benefits also.
I didn't overprice on purpose and it was a one time thing; but even though it was a mistake people still hold it against me

And no it's not really about meeting people, its just trying to go as far as I can on whatever money I can spend on it, like if I had $200 to spend, I would buy cards, find out what I get, and if I sell extras for $100 I can reinvest it into the hobby rather than spending another $100 in cash.

Yeah I have a job, which gets me the money for my hobby in the 1st place, but this whole thing with PayPal putting my money on hold for a bogus claim and keeping a separate bunch of money back from me for 6 weeks exacerbated all my money problems.

Which makes sales even more important, as I have had to focus on trying to catch up with bills rather than any of my hobbies for months; but some people will never buy from me because they think I am some awful, unfair person; and that's that, they think they know and theres no proving them wrong.
 
calypso

calypso

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Jan 5, 2011
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Lancashire
Sometimes people are so unforgiving aren't they? Maybe get to know new people who will buy your cards. Has this left you despondent then? Paypal can be a nightmare at times, I suspect. I'm not clear why they held back your money though.
 
B

BpTyrant

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 8, 2017
Messages
290
Sometimes people are so unforgiving aren't they? Maybe get to know new people who will buy your cards. Has this left you despondent then? Paypal can be a nightmare at times, I suspect. I'm not clear why they held back your money though.
I really dont deal with the community outside of sales, and most of my sales are when a new set releases and I have new stock.

Yeah PayPal is a nightmare when you have an open case against you for no other reason besides the "customer" decided he was entitled to more than he paid for and expected me to ship it out in a hurry, when I told him he would have to wait he threw a tantrum and opened the bogus complaint; which gave PayPal reason to extend the hold on separate amounts that they put in place for no reason to begin with

Literally no reason, they basically implied it was an error and not meant to happen; but it seems more likely that PayPal puts peoples money on hold to borrow their money for an extended period of time, without having to pay Interest like if they went to a bank for it.

I just dont understand why I have to suffer because I have made mistakes and people have to automatically assume I have some sort of bad intent; so when I try to sell responses can be anywhere from lackluster to outright Ridicule and mods dont even do anything because they dont think it's going to effect sales

But of course it's going to effect sales; if you find a way to discredit someone and anyone believes it; that's an easy way to make people look and say "that guy, I heard *such and such* about him; dont buy from him"

I've had some success, but it's not enough to counter this vicious Rumor Mill; founded on misconceptions
 
G

Guywithadacia

New member
Joined
Apr 4, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Truro cornwall
It seems like as much as I try to relax and not worry about things; I always seem to end up unable to actually do it because when I have problems I focus on them so much

On that front it usually comes back to money; I don't care about being Rich, I just want to live comfortably and be able to afford my hobbies easier while keeping up with my bills

And the more I run into specific problems the more I feel defeated and afraid to even try again because it feels like it's never gonna end and no matter what I do; things aren't even going to head in a positive direction

I never even thought any of my hobbies would cause serious problems for me, but I guess I tried to hard, didn't do hours of research before trying to sell cards I knew weren't gonna sell for a super high price and thought people would understand "Offer"

Instead, I walk away feeling like they thought I was some sort of criminal mastermind trying to charge too much on purpose; because I'm expected to know everything.

And then I had tried trading and people were asking about stuff I didn't want to trade (even though I had extra copies anyways, I thought I could wait and get more later) so I thought I would say a value they thought was too high (price dropped recently so they wanted me to trade them cards at the much lower market price of the time) so they would stop bugging me

So inadvertently I'm known as being unfair, try to charge too much for my stuff, and not give fair value on anything else.

And then that whole bogus complaint on PayPal made it so I couldnt use my account for months; obviously people already on the fence that found out about that could take that as some sign that maybe they should look past me to others for what they need

This is especially a bigger thing since I havent got overtime in so long

All this still has me fearful to try selling again because I had tried to do a little selling over the last month to prepare myself for an upcoming layoff, and yet another instance of failing miserably.

It's like nobody is actually on my side and seems to have appreciated anything I do, and then theres the few troublesome ones that actively want me to fail because they hate me that much for making mistakes; because they dont see it as a mistake

They see it as me being incredibly calculating and trying to make moves that purely benefit me at the cost of people that dont know any better

So I cant even comfortably take a vacation during the layoff to relax and spend time with Family Members that actually treat me as Family Should

because I know money is gonna be tighter than normal, I've been constantly behind for months, and dipping into my hobby to sell things I didn't want to sell for prices lower than I would ever try to sell them at (if things were going better in my life) is just failing miserably.

At some point I guess you just gotta give up and wait for the tide to turn; I tried too hard before and clearly suffered greatly, simply because I made a few mistakes.

It seems like these people lack the ability to look past mistakes (to give somebody a chance before judging them) and probably jump to this conclusion with everybody that makes mistakes; so heaven forbid you make mistakes or you would suffer for it
I can relate to what your feeling on so many levels overthinking everything and making small things into huge problems is something I've suffered with my whole life,

People will not accept that your doing well or trying to live a happy life that you are comfortable with, these people are called arseholes, unfortunately no matter where you go there is always gonna be at least one, the beat thing you could do is take it on the chin smile back at them and keep being you and doing what you do.

I dont know the price or the cards but starting a small business isn't easy and not cheap, people wont understand this because unfortunately everyone usually wants a deal and in there eyes a deal would be getting it for free but they will come round in time so please keep trying but keep your job if you can at the same time until the cards take off.

I just want to say lastly that although I dont know you i understand in relatable ways how you feel but your not on your own and you are being heard, reading this has made me feel better about not feeling like I'm the only one feeling this way so dont feel you see too and I'll help where I can.
 
B

BpTyrant

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 8, 2017
Messages
290
I can relate to what your feeling on so many levels overthinking everything and making small things into huge problems is something I've suffered with my whole life,

People will not accept that your doing well or trying to live a happy life that you are comfortable with, these people are called arseholes, unfortunately no matter where you go there is always gonna be at least one, the beat thing you could do is take it on the chin smile back at them and keep being you and doing what you do.

I dont know the price or the cards but starting a small business isn't easy and not cheap, people wont understand this because unfortunately everyone usually wants a deal and in there eyes a deal would be getting it for free but they will come round in time so please keep trying but keep your job if you can at the same time until the cards take off.

I just want to say lastly that although I dont know you i understand in relatable ways how you feel but your not on your own and you are being heard, reading this has made me feel better about not feeling like I'm the only one feeling this way so dont feel you see too and I'll help where I can.
To elaborate one lot of cards I had tried to sell I knew wasnt high value, and I thought someone would want them as they were still useful cards for casually playing the game

Or at the very least someone who might have wanted to start collecting and maybe playing without spending a high cost

So I figured I would start with what seemed like a reasonable offer and people could offer lower if it was anything they could use

I guess I was wrong for thinking people understand what the word "Offer" even meant; they would rather ridicule me for the starting price being apparently way too high (I was working a lot of OT at work at the time, so I wasnt gonna work 12 hours and then research low value cards market value for the next 2 or 3 hours afterwards)

The time I wanted to trade the cards the other person had asked about went from $200 per card down to $80; so they wanted to trade for those specific cards as they probably thought the value could triple again and they could make a killing selling what I had; far more than the card they had was worth even at its height of value (which had passed even back then)

I have never set out to rip anybody off, I never lied or was deceptive and never tried to force someone into a transaction; but people gotta cause problems to people they decide to hate and spread unfounded rumors out of spite

I'm not even talking $1000s, even my largest sale was in the mid $100s and many transactions I have done were as low as $10-$15
 
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