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Chronic Depression

L

Listerine98

Active member
Joined
Sep 17, 2021
Messages
38
Location
Seattle
Hi everyone. I don’t know if anyone will read this but I figured I’d vent anyway. I’m about ready to give up. Taking my own life is all I think about, and part of me can’t wait to do it. All my pain will end. Im depressed for many reasons. One are my looks. I don’t think I’m ugly but I have been teased for the way I look since elementary school. I have a long face and a huge and oddly shaped head. The teasing has gotten to me and I barely go out or talk to women. Im talk and muscular but that doesn’t make me feel better. There’s honestly no point in living this life looking the way I do. I avoid talking to people and I have zero friends because I’m scared of being made fun of. I didn’t fucking ask to be born like this but oh well, I guess. All I want to do is look normal but I couldn’t even fucking have that. Another reason I’m suicidal is because my brother died last year. I don’t want to live another 50-60 years without him. Ultimately I’m ready to die. This life is cruel and I’m sick of waking up everyday just to feel like shit. It’s honestly either take my life now or kill myself in a few years. Im in my twenties now and I know I won’t see forty. I wish I was never born. And I’m not here so people can suggest getting help. Therapy won’t make me look any more normal. It won’t stop people from saying I look like a cartoon character. Why did I have to be born like this? Chronic depression and weird features. Don’t tell me to accept them, I’m honestly here just to vent. I hope I die by the end of the year.
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
1,682
Location
US
Hey, @Listerine98, I am so damn sorry you are feeling this awful. Can say I've been there a number of times in the decades I've had depression, as have a lot of other people on here. People here get it, and if all you want to do is vent, vent away. It feels really good sometimes to do so. And to know you're not alone. And to not be judged by how you look.

First off, I am so sorry that you lost your brother. No one your age should have to go through that, and it would be incredibly painful. One cannot blame you one bit for how you are feeling. You don't want people to talk you out of harming yourself or to accept your looks and how others have used them against you. That's totally understandable. We all get sick of all the advice and the usual words thrown at us when we've just had enough.

I just hope you hang in there a bit longer. I hope you hang around to find out what your life has in store for you that you have no clue about. I hope you hang around enough to see that sometimes the people on here who care and are there are all we need to get through another day. And I just hope you hang around long enough to know that ending your life isn't the answer. Glad you're here. Stick around. Keep talking. Keep reaching out. xx
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
10,795
Location
England
Hi everyone. I don’t know if anyone will read this but I figured I’d vent anyway. I’m about ready to give up. Taking my own life is all I think about, and part of me can’t wait to do it. All my pain will end. Im depressed for many reasons. One are my looks. I don’t think I’m ugly but I have been teased for the way I look since elementary school. I have a long face and a huge and oddly shaped head. The teasing has gotten to me and I barely go out or talk to women. Im talk and muscular but that doesn’t make me feel better. There’s honestly no point in living this life looking the way I do. I avoid talking to people and I have zero friends because I’m scared of being made fun of. I didn’t fucking ask to be born like this but oh well, I guess. All I want to do is look normal but I couldn’t even fucking have that. Another reason I’m suicidal is because my brother died last year. I don’t want to live another 50-60 years without him. Ultimately I’m ready to die. This life is cruel and I’m sick of waking up everyday just to feel like shit. It’s honestly either take my own life now or kill myself in a few years. Im in my twenties now and I know I won’t see forty. I wish I was never born. And I’m not here so people can suggest getting help. Therapy won’t make me look any more normal. It won’t stop people from saying I look like a cartoon character. Why did I have to be born like this? Chronic depression and weird features. Don’t tell me to accept them, I’m honestly here just to vent. I hope I die by the end of the year.
You are so young.

I am in my 40s and life has been very hard, but i look ok. My appearance has made life hard, but for different reasons to you.

We all look different, there are some unusual looking people around, they are starting to come out of their hiding place and tell the world to get over themselves.

I realise that takes so much strength.

We all have our own personal reasons for wanting to die and they are equally valid aren't they. What i am certain of is that as we get older, we realise that life is actually very short and goes very fast. I cannot believe my age sometimes as it went so fast.

Many people die naturally before they are in their 80s, i hope i am one of them, but i will not take action myself, i will wait.

You need to wait. Life can be hard, a slog, but try to take it one day at a time.

What makes you feel slightly better? I love good coffee. I love my cats. Cats don't care what you look or smell or sound like. They don't care what your diagnosis is or your age is.

Please give yourself sympathy and not be hard on yourself. It is ok to feel bad.

We are here for you, honestly, we are going through difficulties too so try to help each other along and listen to each other.

What are your plans for today?

Tawny
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
10,795
Location
England
Counsellors or helplines, they are just people who like people, who like to listen and help people through life. Please ask for help with life and the sadness you feel.






Help for suicidal thoughts

If you're feeling like you want to die, it's important to tell someone.

Help and support is available right now if you need it. You do not have to struggle with difficult feelings alone.

Phone a helpline

These free helplines are there to help when you're feeling down or desperate.

You can also call these helplines for advice if you’re worried about someone else.

In the UK and Ireland, call the Samaritans on 116123.
In the US, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline ion 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, call the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, call Lifeline on 131114.
In New Zealand, call Need to Talk on 1737 or 080017371737.
For other countries please visit this list of crisis helplines.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can also call one of the above helplines.

Emergency help

If you are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111 or call the international emergency number of 112).
 
Bod

Bod

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
5,774
Location
Planet POSITIVE
Hi everyone. I don’t know if anyone will read this but I figured I’d vent anyway. I’m about ready to give up. Taking my own life is all I think about, and part of me can’t wait to do it. All my pain will end. Im depressed for many reasons. One are my looks. I don’t think I’m ugly but I have been teased for the way I look since elementary school. I have a long face and a huge and oddly shaped head. The teasing has gotten to me and I barely go out or talk to women. Im talk and muscular but that doesn’t make me feel better. There’s honestly no point in living this life looking the way I do. I avoid talking to people and I have zero friends because I’m scared of being made fun of. I didn’t fucking ask to be born like this but oh well, I guess. All I want to do is look normal but I couldn’t even fucking have that. Another reason I’m suicidal is because my brother died last year. I don’t want to live another 50-60 years without him. Ultimately I’m ready to die. This life is cruel and I’m sick of waking up everyday just to feel like shit. It’s honestly either take my life now or kill myself in a few years. Im in my twenties now and I know I won’t see forty. I wish I was never born. And I’m not here so people can suggest getting help. Therapy won’t make me look any more normal. It won’t stop people from saying I look like a cartoon character. Why did I have to be born like this? Chronic depression and weird features. Don’t tell me to accept them, I’m honestly here just to vent. I hope I die by the end of the year.

@Listerine98 I am so sorry about the loss of your brother and can feel your pain of losing a loved one, it really hurts us in a way that only people who have gone through it understand how we feel. Please do not hurt your self as help is out there for us and also using this forum can help too. I was also bullied and teased at school and those feelings were very hard to understand for many years with me, but I got through it and have just started again to go through with the help.
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 20, 2019
Messages
2,585
Location
England
When you're a teenager and young, like you are in your twenties, looks are very important, as are things like 'toughness' or 'reputation', but these things fade in importance over time. The best looking people in your class at school can look like pigs in ten or twenty years. Anyone, and I do mean anyone, can have an accident that impacts upon their looks and suddenly...not so good looking anymore. What people say and how they act when young is just a drop in the ocean, it is this and much more that therapy can teach you about yourself for what you are and not allowing your thoughts to be dominated by things you feel uncomfortable with about yourself. Nobody is perfect, it's an old cliché but it just so happens to be true. Don't fret 'looks' there are far more important things. You'll meet people but only by being happy in your own skin, which comes from within, and by getting out so you can actually meet someone. You've got so much life to come, don't give up so early in the race.
P.S: I was once voted best looking in my class, I look at photos of me now and think I look terrible, I'm sure many others feel I have changed a lot for the worse too. I'm not happy about that but I also don't let it dominate my every day or my every thought, it's just age and time. Things change, allow that.
 
L

Listerine98

Active member
Joined
Sep 17, 2021
Messages
38
Location
Seattle
You are so young.

I am in my 40s and life has been very hard, but i look ok. My appearance has made life hard, but for different reasons to you.

We all look different, there are some unusual looking people around, they are starting to come out of their hiding place and tell the world to get over themselves.

I realise that takes so much strength.

We all have our own personal reasons for wanting to die and they are equally valid aren't they. What i am certain of is that as we get older, we realise that life is actually very short and goes very fast. I cannot believe my age sometimes as it went so fast.

Many people die naturally before they are in their 80s, i hope i am one of them, but i will not take action myself, i will wait.

You need to wait. Life can be hard, a slog, but try to take it one day at a time.

What makes you feel slightly better? I love good coffee. I love my cats. Cats don't care what you look or smell or sound like. They don't care what your diagnosis is or your age is.

Please give yourself sympathy and not be hard on yourself. It is ok to feel bad.

We are here for you, honestly, we are going through difficulties too so try to help each other along and listen to each other.

What are your plans for today?

Tawny
I had plans to work but I was too depressed
 
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