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Christmas

megirl

megirl

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:eek:

Family can be a trigger for me as many people especially this time of year.
I dont have any contact with my siblings but contact with mother whom i dont get any joy or pleasure out of at all. I have always been the one who makes the effort. Every christmas its like she spends time with her sons but never tells me or asks what are we up too nothing at all.
Every xmas day i get wound up yell at hubby/get agitated/get drunk just sends me right off. Pre xmas i hadnt seen my mother for three weeks and havnt seen her since
She never even said merry xmas or anything. I text her early xmas morning didnt get a reply til the evening.
Anyway I am feeling really good, not seeing her usually i feel guilty and out of that i normally feel i have to see her etc. I feel much better not seeing her.
Bad huh?
Dont know what too make of it really sad that the less contact the better i feel.
Maybe i am just down right selfish?
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

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It doesn't sound selfish or bad. It sounds as though you realise that some of your family bring about strong and adverse emotions in you and that you've decided to let it go this time. I think it's a hard call for many and I can understand it must be a little upsetting, but you've also shown strength. I don't really think any relationship, whoever it's with, should be one-sided.
 
megirl

megirl

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Thanks Purple Chaos you have great insight Life is short and we need to surround ourselves with positive people who make us feel good or whom can give us support
 
K

Katss

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It's not selfish it's looking after yourself family can be triggering for lots of people and for lots of reasons
 
megirl

megirl

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Its a hard one really i kind of think i should feel bad but i dont
I feel kind of saddened but I kind of had this overwhelming feeling a while back a premonition I think,
But I was a bit late really and pathetic really.
I felt she would choose my brothers over me!! LOL\
I am suprised I am 38 and she has always chosen them over me all my life!!
She used to verbally and physically abuse me and more which I feel quite embarissed about.
I have never told anyone about and wished I could,
But yeh I am better without her!!
 
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