• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Christmas Anxiety *tw*

Murasakibee

Murasakibee

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 25, 2020
Messages
371
Location
Midwest USA
Trigger. Mentions of murder and molestation.

Christmas use to be my favorite holiday growing up and despite everything my mom tried to make it special every year and she succeeded but

I hate Christmas now days for many reason. First because of my siblings and their in laws makes me feel like total shit and they already do that enough on my birthday which I refused to celebrate this year and they refuse to buy me even a dollar gift.

Last year was by far the worst christmas and the year before thst was almost as bad and it makes me fear for this one. Last year, my sister went and blew the present money for the kids on weed instead of what my mom asked her to buy. Last year my brother in law verbally abused my niece so bad she hates him now. The year before that there was so much unspoken resentment and my other niece was acting out so bad, it was scary.

TRIGGER.

Christmas is bad because in 2010 my nephew was murdered on December 1st and my mom and brother almost died while driving down to his funeral. He was one years old and my older nephew was left in an abusive foster home for another year and a half. My nephew from 2012-2016 and somewhat now acts out badly during the holiday because he witnessed his brothers murder and it scared him. My nieces were molested for years and then abandoned by their mother on Christmas day, so they act out terribly on Christmas as well.

It's feels like such a curse. How can one of my happiest childhood memories be such a big fear of mine now? I seriously dread this holiday and I KNOW its gonna suck this year but I'm the only one who seems keen on cancelling the holiday. We could lie to the little kids and tell them Santa can't come this year because of covid but they wont listen

And I doubt MY kid will get any Christmas presents compared to the others. Bullshit. I have no spare money for Christmas and that's depressing me too. My kid behaves better than most of their yet he is gonna think he's been naughty because all the other kids will be getting more.

100% done
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
16,238
Location
Nowhere
hi Murasakibiee

im so sorry about your traumatic memories
mine are not so bad as that as far as I can remember

I hope you can see a therapist about it
and that you can bring yourself to get the children
a present each , it will help you to do so
even if you can't expect to enjoy Christmas yourself

I spent one Christmas in a psychiatric hospital
having been forcibly medicated on Christmas Eve
the medication was wrong for me and I could hardly move
and had lockjaw which is very frightening
after about 24 hours they found an antidote for the medication
but I had to go through further trials
probably my worst Christmas in which I lost all sense of wonder

but my Dad telling me about the children in the family
how they had been over Christmas
gave me something to hope for


:grouphug: :sorcerer:
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
Jam1990 Christmas loneliness Depression Forum 1
S Christmas Day (and who cares!) Depression Forum 2
I THE CHRISTMAS LONELIES THREAD! Depression Forum 121
Tawny Hello Everyone, Merry Christmas Depression Forum 16
E Anxiety Depression Forum 4
D Why do I seemingly not want to get better? Loneliness, failing university, depression, severe anxiety, and not doing anything about it Depression Forum 7
T Depression and Anxiety - possibly triggered by medication Depression Forum 1
M My dad has now caused me to get anxiety attacks Depression Forum 5
P Worry-Anxiety-Trapped Depression Forum 2
F Sleep and Anxiety / Depression Depression Forum 5
W finally not depressed anymore but anxiety is murdering me Depression Forum 7
Dais Workbook about anxiety and depression I personally found useful. You may like it too. Depression Forum 2
TylersOutlet24 Depression/Anxiety - never ending emotional rollercoaster you DONT want to be on. Depression Forum 3
H Insomnia and anxiety from starting anti-depressant. Suggestions??? Depression Forum 6
S besides self talk what actually reduced your severe depression or anxiety? Depression Forum 17
S Anxiety, Depression, Self-Esteem? Depression Forum 7
TylersOutlet24 How I experience Depression/Anxiety and coping mechanisms to help. Depression Forum 2
Mrs Tiggywinkle Nutrition for depression and anxiety......very good video. 🙂 Depression Forum 3
J Depression with Anxiety Depression Forum 10
Jam1990 Do medications really work for depression/anxiety Depression Forum 24
L Effects of anxiety and depression? Depression Forum 2
L Relocation Anxiety/ Depression Depression Forum 6
S Anti seizure meds for anxiety has someone tried this? Depression Forum 4
D Depressed because of social anxiety, thinking about suicide to escape the feelings Depression Forum 8
BLUESTAR009 I've never had depression or anxiety until the last three weeks. There is no threat it's perceived not real Depression Forum 4
G Anxiety bipolar Depression Forum 5
T Possible anxiety/depression? Depression Forum 1
Bluebox11 Anxiety and feeling on edge Depression Forum 10
G My social anxiety makes me seem rude Depression Forum 8
L Job Worries Anxiety Depression Forum 4
C Fear of anxiety-induced depression Depression Forum 6
T Tips for people in financial anxiety Depression Forum 1
B Sports and depression / anxiety Depression Forum 3
L Starting to lose hope with my depression and anxiety Depression Forum 2
D Anxiety and panic attacks Depression Forum 5
K Overwhelming regret from an anxiety riddled bad decision causing chronic depression Depression Forum 1
J anyone try magic mushrooms for there anxiety depression? or treatment besides medication? Depression Forum 10
S Anxiety and depression from past and not getting cured and dragged into more and more problems. Depression Forum 7
J What do u think about this problem with depression and anxiety returning? Depression Forum 1
G adrenaline and anxiety Depression Forum 14
A My Girlfriend (23F) has anxiety, depression, and is suicidal. How can I help her? Depression Forum 6
J what treatment snapped you out of sever anxiety and depression? Depression Forum 20
Bluebox11 Feel lonely and have anxiety Depression Forum 7

Similar threads

Top