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changing my mind...

C

Colin19

New member
Joined
May 17, 2015
Messages
2
hello, i'm new to this site but wanted to get some other view points on whether anyone has the same issue as me.

I have been in and out of the same relationships for years now, the problem is i keep changing my mind…. i make a decision, then my mind won't stop thinking about it. I talk myself into thinking I've made the wrong decision, so i change my mind again and then the whole process starts again…

this has been going on for two years, i'm going out of my mind. Has anyone else had this issue and if so how did you deal with it?
 
katya

katya

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
Hello and :welcome:

It sounds like you're not ready to let go, which is totally understandable. Have you talked to your partner about how you feel? Maybe there are some issues that could be worked out between you two, so you could feel more secure about staying. However, if you feel you've tried everything and to no avail, it might be time to leave, but you just might not be ready for it yet: it's not uncommon; many people stay with their partners for years with a degree of uncertainty in the relationship.

I hope you can come to a decision soon. I think communication is key for any decision like this, and please, if you do decide to leave, make sure you have a good support system around you before you do: it can be very difficult to break up with someone, especially after such a long time together.

I hope you find this forum useful and supportive.
 
C

Colin19

New member
Joined
May 17, 2015
Messages
2
Thanks Katya. Yes i've talked to my partner about it, i think she is just fed up with it all and feels tired. The most frustrating thing is that i made a decision and feel fine about it but then a couple of weeks after, thoughts start creeping into my head, and i can't get them out. then they snowball into doubts, and before i know it i'm feeling low again and have convinced myself that i've made the wrong call.

Thank you for your comments and advice
xx
 
katya

katya

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
Thanks Katya. Yes i've talked to my partner about it, i think she is just fed up with it all and feels tired. The most frustrating thing is that i made a decision and feel fine about it but then a couple of weeks after, thoughts start creeping into my head, and i can't get them out. then they snowball into doubts, and before i know it i'm feeling low again and have convinced myself that i've made the wrong call.

Thank you for your comments and advice
xx
With something like this, there'll always be pros and cons on either side; you just have to find that sticking point and go on that and that alone. It's like a adopting a black and white attitude. Well, it's not; it's just accepting that, maybe things could have worked out, but right now it's not working and you need something different. Or that you might be happier if you were on your own, but you're in this now and you're going to stick with it to make it better. You'll have doubts, and you'll feel low, but you have to have that strength to push through it. I know that's easier said than done, though; I was in a state of limbo in my past relationship for a long time, and thankfully (in a way), something happened that sort of made my decision for me. It's really hard when there's no massive indication either way. Maybe spend some time away from each other and do some soul-searching?
 
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