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In my opinion, fear or shame are the keys to controlling us. When we change this control mechanism, voices can change. So here are some points that may help:

1. Identify the trigger. When a voice makes a remark, note your body language and that of other people. Note what kind of environment you are in. If possible record it down for reference later.

2. Identify your beliefs. So now you must ask yourself, how is the voice using my body language or emotions and that of others to manipulate me with fear or shame.

3. Identify your response. What message is your body language sending the voices. Does it confirm for them that they are succeeding. How are your emotions.

This does not mean that we have to hide our feelings and behaviours, but be aware of how they are being used to create this control mechanism. When you understand how the mechanism works, you can then achieve a measure of peace. You will identify when the voices are manipulating you and say to yourself: "this is a control thing." In my opinion, this will eventually have a positive effect on the voices.

It's a gradual process, but it can work.

Hang in there,

Last edited:


Well-known member
May 30, 2012
small town Ontario, Canada
Think the things you mentioned could help with anxiety in identifying abusive behaviour in relationships with people as well as with your voices. Very much the same. Good topic thanks for posting.:)