• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Changes

daddyspader

daddyspader

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 3, 2020
Messages
61
Location
Taker's Tights
I have such an awful time with handling changes, and I am currently going through two huge life changes. Beginning next Monday, I will be starting a new job, and in the middle of September my husband and I will be moving into our new house. I want to be excited for these things, but truthfully I am terrified. I worry of the worst happening - my job not working out, and things going horribly wrong with the house (it needs a lot of TLC). Thinking about these things should spark happiness in me, but instead it triggers my anxiety. I wish I could share the good feelings my husband has over all of this - it makes me feel awful having such negative thoughts when he is so positive...
 
B

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
1,865
Location
England
I struggle with change too. It feels scary as we cannot be sure of what the change will bring. Congratulations on your new job. Having bpd and holding down a job is not easy. I can understand your worries of your job not working and things going wrong with the new house. You are being very hard on yourself to say you are awful having negative thoughts about the changes. You cannot help how you feel and in having bpd I am guessing you have had a lot of bad experiences so it is understandable to have such worries.
 
M

MuminAcrisis

Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2020
Messages
16
Location
Staffordshire
Hi there, nice to meet you, I can understand you are worried and concerned but you 'want' to be excited and that is positive. Try to manage your anxiety by planning so at the time of change you are not overwhelmed and do speak to your husband when you are not feeling to concerned and are calm, explain it to him but include what you plan to do to manage it so he feels included in the solutions and can maybe recognise when you are starting to feel overwhelmed, and if there are things he can do at the time that might help tell him beforehand like, 'if i seem a bit tense, remind me of this, or do that' whatever you feel will help it may be a walk or chat or hug of reassurance but prepare him and have a plan of your own. You got the job! so they saw your talents and abilities so as someone with BPD you will also have some advantages, like creativity, attention to detail and quick thinking it is emotions that will be a challenge so try on of the downloadable apps to help you track and manage your emotional state it will help support you virtually and best of luck with the new job, well done you for getting it. Overall be kind to yourself and find ways that work for you that help sooth you so you are prepared but planing, communication and readied help is the key i think. I wish you all the best. x
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
2,012
Anxiety is often birthed from a feeling of a lack of control.

Try to do some things that give you that sense of control to help dampen it. As stupid as it sounds, cleaning out and reorganizing my clothes closet does that for me.
 
daddyspader

daddyspader

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 3, 2020
Messages
61
Location
Taker's Tights
Thanks everyone ❤ I think once I get into it, I will be okay - kind of like taking that first leap into a body of water. I just needed to vent. It's nice to express how I feel with others who struggle with the same things. ❤
 
S

so sad

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 24, 2016
Messages
163
Hi

I totally get it. We bought a house and moved in last November. It needs loads doing to it and I find it completely overwhelming. I'm trying to break things down into chunks rather than seeing it as one huge project. Still freaks me out but it feels like I have a bit more control now.
Good luck with everything
x
 
Top