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Changes Are Hard, Mood Swings Come In.

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BlueButBeautiful

Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2020
Messages
13
Location
India
Hello internet. I am diagnosed with BPD. I'm not sure how this disorder exactly works even after two years of diagnosis. But I'm sure something is really affecting my life for long. I'm quite young. I want to address here on how I am unable to actually make a change in my life which is necessary. The reasons are weird for me. In the past, I searched on Google a lot about self - help advice, and I tried on my own too. Later I went to therapist(s), but I always felt I have a hard time following what they're saying. I am on medication currently (and my psychiatrist also suggests going to a good therapist). These experiences have made me really demotivated. I also feel that I am making no progress at all because I want to stop having mood swings, where at one point I am willing to face anything, and other - I am on the verge of suicide. It sucks because I am scared of what I'll do to myself one day. I don't want to recognize myself as only a person 'who has BPD.' I really don't like being told much about this mental health disorder because it gives a lot of anxiety.
(I hate saying this, but I stopped my medication for a while because of taking other medications for my physical health.)
 
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Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
2,202
Location
London, ON
A big part of dealing with moodswings is simply gaining practise in not reacting to them. It might help to get an idea of what triggers them, and keep a record of it.

Then, you can work out a way to deal with each trigger on its own.

I've had this diagnosis for 22 years or so - I never noticed any huge changes in getting better, it's always been a slow process that you don't notice improving at first.
 
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sab1978

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
171
Location
Canada
What's really helped me is understanding that I am not my thoughts and feelings...that I am the awareness of those things. My thoughts and feelings come from old conditioned ways of thinking, which are largely dysfunctional due to my upbringing. Once I'm able to grasp that concept (and it means constantly reminding myself of that), I get a little breathing room from it all. Once I get that breathing room, I try to sit with the uncomfortable feelings without any action. If that's too hard, I distract myself with my list of healthy things to do - mostly exercise, reading, journalling. Journalling is huge for me because I can write whatever I want. Then when I re-read it, I see how irrational it all is.
 
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BlueButBeautiful

Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2020
Messages
13
Location
India
That's really cool. Writing is my hobby, and it is really nice to hear someone who finds relief from Journaling. I'll surely try that out
 
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BlueButBeautiful

Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2020
Messages
13
Location
India
A big part of dealing with moodswings is simply gaining practise in not reacting to them. It might help to get an idea of what triggers them, and keep a record of it.

Then, you can work out a way to deal with each trigger on its own.

I've had this diagnosis for 22 years or so - I never noticed any huge changes in getting better, it's always been a slow process that you don't notice improving at first.
It is relieving to hear someone who is going through the same thing for a really long time. Thank you
 
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sab1978

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
171
Location
Canada
Let us know how the journaling technique works for you 🤗

We’re all going through the same thing ❤
 
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Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
2,202
Location
London, ON
Journalling is huge for me because I can write whatever I want. Then when I re-read it, I see how irrational it all is.
This. So much this. I remember the first couple of times I had that experience, and it's pretty powerful to look at your own words, and realize how your emotions have warped your understanding of something.
 
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BlueButBeautiful

Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2020
Messages
13
Location
India
This. So much this. I remember the first couple of times I had that experience, and it's pretty powerful to look at your own words, and realize how your emotions have warped your understanding of something.
Sometimes it does 'trigger' me when I read what I've written back then. But it truly helps me at that time. Glad Journaling works for many people like us
 
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