S
SoSoSad
Member
I have suffered from depression off and on since I was a child due to child abuse. I also have anxiety, PTSD and phobias on top of depression out brust.
Anywho I have been mildy depressed off and on for the last 2 years because I moved towns and have not even made 1 friend since being here and have not taken any meds for. But just in the last couple of weeks I have been getting worst but I have put it down to stress in my life at the moment and feeling so lonely.
I have tryed going to couselling service which resulted making me feeling even worst off in the end so stopped going.
Tonight I can't stop crying and starting to have that I want to hurt myself feeling. I am too scare to say anything to my partner, and mental health service here in New Zealand is utter crap, so they are out of the question. I refuse to go to the doctor because their only answer is full you up on meds and sent you on ya way which I am againest for personal reason. So I amstuck in the middle of a hard place and a rock.
I don't have any family support at all and don't have any friends close by for support (they all live all over an hour away).
I find it hard to even make any new friends these days due to having phobias and trust issues. It is a pitty that these have taken over my life.
I am at a lost and no where to turn and have not got a clue what to do, I am so scared of myself right now.
Sorry about the long read, just really needed to vent. Most likely will tell my full life story at some stage.
Anywho I have been mildy depressed off and on for the last 2 years because I moved towns and have not even made 1 friend since being here and have not taken any meds for. But just in the last couple of weeks I have been getting worst but I have put it down to stress in my life at the moment and feeling so lonely.
I have tryed going to couselling service which resulted making me feeling even worst off in the end so stopped going.
Tonight I can't stop crying and starting to have that I want to hurt myself feeling. I am too scare to say anything to my partner, and mental health service here in New Zealand is utter crap, so they are out of the question. I refuse to go to the doctor because their only answer is full you up on meds and sent you on ya way which I am againest for personal reason. So I amstuck in the middle of a hard place and a rock.
I don't have any family support at all and don't have any friends close by for support (they all live all over an hour away).
I find it hard to even make any new friends these days due to having phobias and trust issues. It is a pitty that these have taken over my life.
I am at a lost and no where to turn and have not got a clue what to do, I am so scared of myself right now.

Sorry about the long read, just really needed to vent. Most likely will tell my full life story at some stage.