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Can't stop crying

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CoffeeLove

Guest
My ex partner walked out of my life a little over 4 weeks ago taking my children with her and is denying me any access to them using my mental health issues as an excuse.

Every single day since I have spent most of each day sobbing my heart out, I feel like I'm slowly falling to pieces inside, my heart is so broken, I'm so alone and have no friends or family to turn to, I wish I could stop crying but I keep seeing triggers around the house and I break down into tears again and again.
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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CoffeeLove

really sorry that you are going through such a bleak time. can you talk to anyone? and when was the last time you saw a counselor?

i do hope that you will reach out for help in this very difficult time. don't shut yourself away. for your child's sake, it sounds like you will need to make a few changes. irrespective of who is right and wrong regarding the ex partner.

your future relationship with your child that is your main focus. But you need to get you sorted before this can happen. :goodluck:
 
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CoffeeLove

Guest
I have no idea where my children are, my Ex has stated she refuses to ever let me see my children ever again, she has been re-housed and I don't even know where they moved to. I know I am a horrible person and I know I deserve to be treated like this but this doesn't change how heart broken I feel, every single time I think of my children I break down into sobbing tears. I have no contact with any friends or family, my Ex in her own way refused me to have friends, she always said she didn't want anyone coming into the house and I struggle with going outside, I don't know, I just feel like my life is pretty much over, I'm a horrible person and I deserve to be treated horribly, I get it, it's my fault.
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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May 30, 2012
Messages
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small town Ontario, Canada
Surely you have a legal right to be able to see your children. Whether you have MH issues or not. Get yourself a lawyer right away. Do not let her manipulate you with her threats. It was her choice to walk out, not the childrens. You should be able to still have a relationship with your children without her in the picture.
There's nothing nastier than using children as weapons to hurt another person or using your MH to discriminate against you if your not a danger to them.

So sorry your going through this.:hug1:
 
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CoffeeLove

Guest
She tricked me, our relationship was always fiery, both of us arguing a lot and both of us shouting at each other from time to time, I do have a temper but it is nothing as compared to her temper. She tricked me the day she walked out by setting me up by putting me into a situation she knew I couldn't cope with and then pushing me for hours until I finally snapped and swore at her, she actually video'd me swearing at her on her phone and has used it as evidence of domestic abuse, she didn't of course admit to pushing me for over 4 hours until I finally snapped and swore at her. I am being treated as a domestic abuser and as such I have been told I am a threat to my children's well being, I know that makes me sound terrible but I am a very easy going person but if someone keeps pushing me and wont leave me alone even after asking them to stop I do eventually swear and shout. I know it is a terrible thing to do to swear and shout at someone but in all truly genuine honesty it takes a lot for me to finally lose the plot and swear at someone whilst shouting at them. Social Services don't care, they wont listen to me, I have told them the truth about what happened and still I am being treated this way. I'm not an angel by any means and I would never dare to even try to claim I am, I know that when push comes to shove I can be a moody and verbally abusive person but I honestly don't behave like that unless I am really pushed to the limits. She has a new boyfriend and she used my mental health issues as a way for her to get re-housed quickly so she can pursue her new relationship. I do understand her wanting to spend time with her new man and I am happy for her that she has someone she can love now but taking my children away from me, I don't know, it just feels really cruel to me somehow. I'm not the smartest person in the world, this I know but I can't help feeling this is wrong and that I shouldn't be treated like this but the chips are stacked against me and if I try to press the matter I have been told that I will face legal proceedings regarding domestic abuse, I have seen how that ends and I am terrified of ending up in lots of trouble even though I have done nothing she hasn't done, if you could have seen some of the things she has said to me in the past, I don't know, I just wish my heart didn't hurt so much.
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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May 30, 2012
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Location
small town Ontario, Canada
You get yourself a lawyer asap and try to record her if you have phone communication with her again so you can record these threats she is making. Contact the local MH center as well and ask what you can do to help the situation. I'm not sure how it goes in the UK but here they cannot use MH to discriminate against you, unless the children have been recorded saying they don't want to see you or are afraid of you I don't think she can go against hearsay. Maybe others here can give you numbers and links you can contact in your area.
The fact she has said if you press the issue then she will accuse you shows me they are pretty hollow threats and that she is using your emotions against you to try to get you to give up. The sooner you talk to legal counsel the better. Considering she already has set up another boyfriend waiting for her you may be able to use that to your advantage. Let the lawyer contact social services, his words will bear more weight than yours surely in this case.

What help are you currently recieving for your MH issues? Have you been on services very long?

https://www.rocketlawyer.co.uk/browse-lawyers.rl?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=!GSN%20-%20P5%20-%20Q%26A&utm_term=custody%20rights&utm_content=Phrase

Ask a Question, Get an Answer ASAP!

YourRightsAsADad
the last link has several links to Dad's and Fathers Rights organizations I hope this helps.
 
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daydreambeliever39

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It sounds like your ex is a bit manipulative, to be honest, and that she has made you feel bad about yourself. You keep saying negative things about yourself but the fact that you are so self conscious about your behaviour suggests that you are not a horrible person at all. You need to have a bit more self esteem and this might encourage you to fight back against what she is doing. Unfortunately the law is often on the side of the mother but with a mother like that, there would be something wrong if no one listened to you.

I don't know enough about parental rights to help you with that, but, I'm just saying, it might not seem like it right now, but you should have more self belief. It sounds like you have done nothing wrong at all and your ex is the one who is a bit of a horrible person.

Good luck.
 
C

CoffeeLove

Guest
It sounds like your ex is a bit manipulative, to be honest, and that she has made you feel bad about yourself. You keep saying negative things about yourself but the fact that you are so self conscious about your behaviour suggests that you are not a horrible person at all. You need to have a bit more self esteem and this might encourage you to fight back against what she is doing. Unfortunately the law is often on the side of the mother but with a mother like that, there would be something wrong if no one listened to you.

I don't know enough about parental rights to help you with that, but, I'm just saying, it might not seem like it right now, but you should have more self belief. It sounds like you have done nothing wrong at all and your ex is the one who is a bit of a horrible person.

Good luck.
She's very clever, she can turn on the tears at the drop of a coin and she can hide her temper really well and she can make herself tremble and look very vulnerable, tricks she has played on me over the years to get her own way with so many things, I remember them all. I'm a stupid person, when I get caught off guard I fall for the tears and the shaking routine every single time, I just can't seem to see I am being played at the time but when I look back on events that take place I can see I have been played. I'm really slow with a lot of things and I can't tell when someone is lying and I find it virtually impossible to read peoples expressions, I can see her face doing this really sinister little twist in my memory, every time she got things to go the way she wanted her lip on the right hand side curled just a tiny bit but enough to reveal she was pleased with her victory, I wish I could read people better, hell I'm so shite at reading people I even have the dumbest luck with females, countless times in the past I have had friends telling me a girl was coming on to me and I had no idea, I always think they're just being nice to me, I don't understand people at all.
 
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