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Can't stop binging and purging for 4 years

M

mynameisbee123

New member
Joined
Feb 11, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Indonesia
Hey, i want to share my story. I really can't keep this to myself anymore.

I'm an 18 y.o girl. I'm being a bulimic since was 14, when I suddenly wanted to go on a diet. It all started when i'm turning into a teenager, where I could no longer eat everything I wanted and still became skinny. I started to gain weight, and I really don't like it. So one time i purged what i had eaten, and it worked. At my first few months of becoming a bulimic, i purged maybe only once a day, or maybe 5 times a week. But as time goes by, i got used to it, and I actually purged up all the food right after I ate. I usually spent 1-2 hours binging, and purged up after that. I repeated regularly every day. Until one day, my body also got used to it, it became an automatic reaction It only takes about 10 minutes to take out all my food. At the beginning, nothing happens, until then i started feeling weak, became anemic, sometimes fainted. And I keep this secret from everyone, no one knows. Then, my teeth had problems, these teeth began to erode, and my dentist began to question why this could happen, because the erosion was massive. All of my teeth seemed to have been scraped, and there was caries in almost all of them. My parents spent nearly 1000 dollars fixing my teeth. I really feel guilty. And I don't want my teeth to get even more damaged.

Please, does anyone have any suggestions? How to stop all of this?
 
stygianiron222

stygianiron222

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Jan 18, 2021
Messages
229
Location
the underworld
you need to visit a professional to help you stop this cycle, or go to an eating disorder clinic. please tell you parents so they get you the help you need and then you can get better and have a better relationship with food.
 
M

mynameisbee123

New member
Joined
Feb 11, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Indonesia
you need to visit a professional to help you stop this cycle, or go to an eating disorder clinic. please tell you parents so they get you the help you need and then you can get better and have a better relationship with food.
actually I confessed to them the first year I had this bulimia, and I asked them to take me to a psychiatrist. but they got angry with me and said that this is not a real disease, this is just something I made up on purpose. then they forced me to stop and got angry when I couldn't help myself, so I decided to hide it
 
stygianiron222

stygianiron222

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Joined
Jan 18, 2021
Messages
229
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the underworld
that sounds so horrible, is there anyone else you can tell? i know school counselors can help, or an eating disorder helpline
 
P

Purpleplum

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Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
2,295
Location
nowhere
Not only are your teeth getting damaged but the rest of your body is getting damaged as well. You're losing electrolytes....it affects your heart and is causing dehydration which ruins your skin and causes blood pressure to lower and more.

The root of it all is the ED gives you a sense of control when you feel like you have no control. It sounds like you have parents who aren't there for you and put blame on you. That causes feelings of shame. Feelings of shame go hand in hand with ED's.
 
H

Helen1960

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 15, 2018
Messages
226
Location
Scotland
I don't have any answers sorry.

It's so sad that your parents let you down. You recognised your problem and asked for help.

Here in Scotland we have a health service to turn to. I don't know if you have that.

Take care
Helen.
 

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