Cant sleep, no more beer and problems are coming back

[kurtov]

hey,

It was another weekend which i looked forward to secluding myself to my apartment, buying a nice 2 litre bottle of wine and 2 packs of cigs, and basically dedicating that time to being alone, watching movies and playing oblivion on 360.

This is the life that i did not want for myself. but now have found myself living. at this time, like most weekend, i found it very dull and wish to have been more productive with myself. although at the beginning oof each wek i jsut cant wait for the weekend so i can seclude myself again.

It is a very uncomfortable cycle which i am caught and dont know how to escape it.

i feel stuck here in this city, alone with no friends or family and dont know what to do with myself.
There was a party of a co worker tonight for his birthday, i was invited and jsut told them no thanks at the last minute. I hate that, because i know that this is the sort of thing that will bring me out of the shell that im in, but at the same time, last time iwent to one of their parties i was denounced and made a fool of from this persons mother and that night nearly killed myself.

anwyay, i go on too much, basically i am looking for anyone who can help me relate with this problem,
Right now i find myself doing nothing but working, drinking, watching movies, reading and playing games....and the majority of this is alone. im not sure what kind of help im asking but this is the problem. im alone and drink every day now. so, i guess thats all.

 

[Tonymoe59]

Wanting to be alone and social anxiety

I know exactly what you are talking about. I have dealt with that for over two years now. I got so bad that I have been to the hospital several times just to detox from the alcohol. This was my cycle. I ended up going thru alot of stressful and traumatic events in a very short time. I found myself not being able to sleep. After twenty years of not having one drink, i went and got some wine one night,,, wow i slept all night and i felt great. Needless to say this after some time became a pattern. Then I would find myself waking up in the morning,, and drinking just to sleep again. I just wanted to sleep so that i didnt have to deal with people. People would invite me out and i would make an excuse because i didnt want to go. I found myself falling in this hole that i could not get out of. I had alot of problems during this time,,, lost my license, got a DUI,, attorney fees, court fees, divorce, bills bills and bills,,,,, my god I was getting out of control, all i could think about was sleeping so i wouldnt have to think.
I finally went to the Psych ward at a hospital in a town near where i lived where no one knew me. I wanted help with my depression and i needed meds. Needless to say, I am on meds now and doing better. I battle the alcohol once in awhile but not like i used to. I would encourage u to seek help otherwise it will only get worse. Your not alone,,, T

 

[Dollit]

You're certainly not alone on this one. I think loneliness of one kind or another is the greatest social disease of our times. And we do tend to drink to change the way we feel - I know I did. It was easier to get out of it on copious amounts of alcohol and drugs than live in the real world. And yes, the being unconscious through the night is good - yea right.

I went to AA for a while and while I didn't agree on a lot of stuff I made friends there that I still see now.

I have also joined one of the social networking sites and meet up with people from there (in a safe way of course) and have actually found an old and good friend from way back that I'd lost touch with and we've seen each other and we text and/or call every day. I know that some people say it's not real but when you do meet people and you get along it is friends you would never have met otherwise.

Keep posting both of you - I need you.

 

[trainwreck]

booze

yyyyyyyyyes that time being out your head on booze , i miss it .think about it you go out, every one but you gets pissed, /ucking boreing . but were do we stop thats our problem , a shrink once told me that booze if not for the long term affect is the best a.d,i jacked in the bottle of brandy a day still drink 2 pints a day, in town so i meet people. also i walk about 5 miles aday with my terriers just to be out . thats the key my buddy get out , where? any/ucking where but dont stop indoors

 

[mudslides]

do you have any interests or any hobbies? maybe try and join a local group or club?

 

[kurtov]

i completly forgot about this thread. things are actually looking up now. i moved from the bigger city to back home where all my family and friends are and have been getting out much more. ive joined tae kwon do and started learning up on the guitar. i also started going to AA meetings after getting my license taken away for a DUI last week

 

[schizolanza]

Good luck with the guitar.