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Can't sleep (help) I want to sleep Forever (die)...

razza

razza

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Oct 17, 2011
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Australia
It's 6am. Well technically 5am because daylight savings ends in this part of Australia today.

I can't sleep.

The youth helpline responded to an email I sent tonight saying to please contact them when I can as they are concerned. The dv helpline told me earlier when I was on webchat to ring before I took anything.

But I can't dial the numbers...

I just want to shut my eyes, not wake up....

Getting to the point where I will try anything, ANYTHING, to achieve that...
 
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mischief

mischief

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Hi Razza

Real sorry to hear things continue to be sh**.

Perhaps it is time to call for help from your friends. You've been going through most of this alone, with limited support from the 'system'.

There has to be another way of getting what you're going through.

What about The Richmond Fellowship or a therapeutic community?
 
calypso

calypso

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Just wanted to say that I understand that feeling Razza. Before my pdoc got me on the cocktail of drugs I am on now, I was so desperate, I even asked for ECT!! I didn't know what else to do, I was in such a terrible state. You can make it through, but you really need more support from the psychiatric services in Oz. I just don't know what its like there, so can't help you, except the Samaritans are over there. They may not only support you, but offer advice on places to go that you can't find at the moment. xxx
 
razza

razza

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I nearly asked for ECT too!! The only thing that stopped me was my psychiatrist made a joke about it and told me not to worry she wouldn't be giving me ECT.

I feel like I am falling, and falling through the cracks. On paper my treatment plan looks all good, but truth is there are so many big gaps...

Example: I have been forced to go from 6hrs of support a week to 1hr.

Everything is ending, feels like just a matter of time before more supports disappear then where does that leave me?

Nobody can help the unhelpable. I feel resigned to my fate. Taking the cowards way out, slowly poisoning myself. Fitting really considering I feel like I poison everything and everyone around me.

Toxic.
 
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