• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

cant sleep and hurting

F

flowerpot

Active member
Joined
Dec 19, 2014
Messages
33
I have had anxiety and depression for many years but have had two really bad times through family problems. I've also help my husband and ran the household as he has slight learning difficulties. He has always worked and helps me anyway he can as I now suffer with arthritis particularly in my hands. He is now on anti depressants and perhaps onset of dementia. Not too bad though.
We've had to tell our son that he is on his own to try and make him realise he needs to get his self sorted. He needs help himself but sometimes in denial that there anything wrong. He hadn't been ringing to see how we are or to find out how his sister is after she had an accident on the ice the other day. Is he in the huff or trying to make us feel bad or does he need our help.
We've had to turn our backs a bit on him and it goes against our feelings. We love our family but can't cope any longer it's making us ill.
We know he is on his own and unless he seeks some help doesn't have anyone else to turn to at the moment. I just hope he's alright.
Anybody had similar experience or any thoughts on our predicament?
 
C

cherbear

Guest
Hi hunny i'm truly sorry that are going through all of this right now it sounds as if you have alot to cope with do you have a SW or counsellor you can talk things through with . If you think it is the onset of demantia has he been to see a GP ? With regards to your son unless he tells you what is wrong I can only hazard a guess but he may feel you have enough on your plate and not want to worry you any further . However I think it would be better if you let him know that you are there for him when he is ready to talk rather than turning your back on him . My other half can go months without telling me that something is wrong or bothering him as he does not want to worry me ( I have severe depression and anxiety ) despite me telling him I am there for him no matter what . When he is ready to tell me he will tell me what is on his mind in the meantime I let him know that I am there for him for him unconditionally . Love and hugs xxxx
 
F

flowerpot

Active member
Joined
Dec 19, 2014
Messages
33
Hi cherbear thanks for the reply. I had to cancel my appointment with cpn 3 weeks ago through virus and have to wait a few more weeks to see her again. Have only seen her twice as it is. My husband has seen his doctor and we are seeing how he gets on over the next three-month on the meds. He is not as anxious and upset as he was but has problems remembering and dealing with any problems. We basically know what is wrong with son and have supported him through a bad time over the last 18months but he is not helping himself. This is basically a wake up call for him, we might have a day or two of peace then it's back to his problems again. We have given him all the care and love we can, he's not a young kid and we are having to make him responsible for his own actions. He doesn't listen to us saying he needs help counsellor or doctor. Won't accept that he too can have depression and anxiety. Says there's nothing wrong then few days later that he feels poorly, he's always tired, got no interest or go in him.
Relationship break ups can be bad especially when there's a little one involved but we've had to make him realise that he can't go on like this for his own good and ours.
It's more tough love than turning back on him and it's harder than anything I've done before.

We are always wondering what our family is going to do next there is always worries and never anything good for years. I have always fought on with the depression over the years, tried to help myself as much as I can because no one can do it for you but this last 3 - 4 years have knocked me for six.
The anxiety is terrible. Hope I've given you a bit more insight

X x x
 
C

cherbear

Guest
Hi hunny excuse my spelling medication turns my head to mush at times . Hope I did not come accross as uncaring . You sound like a very loving and caring Mum and partner . I'm am truly sorry that you are going through this much and hope you get the support that you need too . I have depression and anxiety to so I feel for you x I'm glad your husband has seen a Doctor I used to work in a care home for those with alzheimers and dementia so I understand and hope it goes well with the cpn . If you ever need it there are support groups for those with dementia and alzheimers and for their carers they can be a great help for families . I'm sorry about your son I don't have children myself but it must be hard for you as his Mum to see him this way . I know I used to be pretty bad for cutting people off when I hit rock bottom it was never out of spite I just could see no way out of how I felt refused help and bottled it up until I was a ball of rage drove my family to despair at times . I got myself out of it when I saw I was damaging the relationships with the ones that mattered most to me . Love and hugs xxxx
 
Top