Can't prevent crying whenever I'm angry

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throwaway12

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Oct 1, 2017
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1
#1
Ok, I've had this issue for a long time and never asked for advice on this subject before. I will use a throwaway account since some people know my real one.

I feel like I can't provide a TL:DR version of this story so I'd appreciate it if anyone might be able to read what I write to understand it from my position (I'll try to be short).

I (20, M) from the young age have always had this issue whenever I'm extremely angry/or furious where I would always whenever I try to argue with someone or be confrontational where I immediately start to cry, and to make it worse I don't even feel like crying, my eyes just water themselves on their own and my voice starts to crack which loses any serious attitude with the people I talk to. I personally consider this a weakness and am looking for a solution in removing it.

This was also happening in my school days, I was "bullied" a lot as a kid probably for being the quiet, introverted type (never anything serious, just picked on) and was always bottling up the feelings and ignoring the bullies, but when I have had enough of it, I would always burst out yelling and curse or try to fight only to immediately start to cry which makes the situation worse only to be considered weak and sensitive.

I really don't want this in my life, and the last thing I need is eg: Have a wife and/or kids or friends/family see me crying when trying to defend them from someone. So I came here for help seeing how the community is nice, I love being here :D

Few more things I would like to mention before closing are:

- Please don't recommend workarounds (I have already seen some suggestions where you count and do the math, or bite your tongue/skin to prevent yourself from crying, I don't want to do this every time I'm angry)

- Suggesting to always keep calm and try to solve things peacefully won't work where I'm coming from since majority of the people I see are nothing but uncivilized, uneducated idiots itching to start trouble and you can't talk with them peacefully (nor would I want to do that, seeing as how they would push you around even more) since these people are nothing but cowards and a simple, strong yell will make them back off and cower in fear (this is one of the traits my father has which I wish could attain).

- I don't have these issues when I'm slightly mad and try to argue a point (with friends or someone else), but whenever it's serious and adrenaline fight or flight mode kicks in, that's when the crying starts to happen.

I highly apologize for writing so much, but I hope anyone might be able to help me with this.

Any questions and suggestions are welcome, I'll make sure to reply.

Thanks in forward.
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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#2
Maybe seek a therapist to help you with this?It might be tied with the bullying you experienced.
 
Not_Crazy_Yet

Not_Crazy_Yet

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#3
I don't really have any advise for you but I wanted to share that I have this same experience. It doesn't really happen when I'm in an argument with someone unless I feel I'm being treated unfairly. It used to happen all the time when I was working at walmart, I would frequently get called into the office by certain managers who would make up stories about me to try and get me fired. Every time it happened I would start crying and get shaky and feel like I wasn't in control of my body. It would be compounded by the fact that my crying makes me even angrier. For me it just takes time to cool down. I know that's not much of a solution I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.
 
T

tomghanini2

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Nov 13, 2015
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#4
When fight or flight kicks in you cry. Is this your body telling you flight ain't an option and fight ain't an option so it goes for tears as the defense mechanism ? Maybe getting in shape, taking up jogging or some kinda self defense would recondition your body. If it knows fight and flight are now options then maybe the tear reflex don't kick in.

Btw, have you tried yawning ? Can remember as a kid when I got teary how yawning would stop it.
 
madfryer

madfryer

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#5
being weak and sensitive is not a bad thing i got bullied over a defority of my face so i know how it feels to be bullied a psychiatrist at the school told me to eat more after leaving school i saved up and had plastic surgery to correct it my husband now he was bullied he was a clever clogs and eventually he had enough as the person kicked his dog and to my husband animals mater more and he kicked him in the stomach i know my husband studied yoga and through meditation he is able to take all the bad things and shut them away amazing i cant do it i have not got the patience but i do like the yoga breathing exercises they are relaxing but of the record he told me the bully in question he went to his do after the wedding he had next to no friends and he kept going on about how great friends we were at school some people dont even know when they are being bad -- but going back to yoga is trying to get close to your inner self its not everyones cup of tea
 

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