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Can't maintain healthy friendships, relationships or get on with my family

J

JB100

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Jan 4, 2014
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Can't maintain healthy friendships, relationships or get on with my family

Hi, I'm 19 and I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 14 after an attempt to take my life. I've ruined every relationship I've ever had with a girl because I get extremely paranoid at time as I often go through periods where I feel extremely low, I also have a few problems with trust due to other girlfriends and I have a temper that isn't pretty! As well as not being able to have a relationship for the past 2 years I also feel that my 'friends' aren't really my friends.. I go and smoke weed a lot with them, even though I've been told to stop by professionals many times, I find that it helps me to escape from reality and it allows me to escape from my pathetic life. However recently I've felt like my friends don't want me around, they don't call me, I'm always the one who has to call them and I'm never invited to go out with them if they go out, I always get left behind. I don't know if I'm just being paranoid and over thinking things or if they just simply don't want to be friends with me... I also find it very hard to make new friends as I'm not the most confident person, I'm very quiet and I feel like people don't understand the way my mind works, so I like to keep myself to myself. As for my family, I am the eldest sibling (me and my sister, 14) my sister is quite clearly the favourite, she gets everything she asks for and will always get her own way, whereas I rarely get anything I ask for, even if it's something like a book... I quite often get accused of things that I haven't done, for example stealing from my family, when it's been misplaces ( I have never actually stole from my family, but for some reason whenever something goes missing for a day, I'm automatically a criminal ). Having problems in containing my anger doesn't help this either as every time I get accused or something happens that I feel is unfair I get angry and have done things from fighting with my dad, to breaking things in the house.

I just feel lonely at the moment and wanted to know if anyone else suffers with similar issues and what you've done about them.

Thanks for taking your time to read this.
 
Falling Sky

Falling Sky

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Hello and :welcome:

I am sorry you are having such a hard time=(

14 years old seems awfully young to be diagnosed?

Have you thought about doing an anger management class?? xx
 
vancat

vancat

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Jan 22, 2014
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The weed smoking is probably the main cause of your paranoid feelings about people. I personally, think in a more positive way, and have felt less depressed, since I gave up smoking and drinking. Drugs of any kind will give you a short-term lift, but the price you have to pay is a long-term downer. I'm just guessing here, but maybe your Sister gets more, because she contributes more? ie. does more washing up, cleaning, cooking etc.? Try using her as a role model, and see if family attitudes towards you improve. Good luck!
 
L

Lilac

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Jun 5, 2010
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I believe in you you can do it. With you friends you might think of saying how you feel. What do you have to lose?

I once asked a friend if she was freezing me out and got a mouthful back but I did ask. We don't have much contact.

I may not be the best person to advise but you might want to keep yourself busy with work or studies whatever you do.

As for you family you could try telling them how you feel, they wanted you. Maybe not the best advise but it's a start.

I have seen another post for someone wanting to make friends and someone said to them join clubs/groups. So you could look in your local paper for events in your area. I imagine there would be at least some suitable for your age. Also the local library often has notices up about interest groups so you could find something there.

Also if you are in touch with mental health services you could speak to them.

Best wishes xx
 
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M

MissJ24

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Jan 23, 2014
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Nottingham
Pretty disappointed at the responses on here, I can really relate to this. I have terrible relationships with people, especially my parents - even to the point that they have accused me too of stealing. Don't use your sister as a role model, you have to be accepted for who you are. And yes, obviously weed doesnt help but I guess you gotta look at the reasons behind why u need to smoke. (I'm a smoker too). All I can say is that the next few years are gonna bring a lot of changes for u and with that you'll find your feet a bit more. It's just a period of time and this will pass (it did for me and from talking I know it has for others too) x

Edit: below comment excluded. A diary is a really good idea. It really helps to put things on paper
 
M

MissJ24

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Jan 23, 2014
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Just to say, I write a blog and it talks about some of this stuff so if you fancy having a look then please do:

[Sorry, had to remove link to blog. Just put this note here in case you wonder what others have referred to in the following posts - Calypso]
 
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L

Lilac

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Just to say, I write a blog and it talks about some of this stuff so if you fancy having a look then please do:

[See above - had to remove link to blog: Calypso]
xx
Just read your blog for today. From the reading, and I could be wrong, it sounds like you get on quite well with your mum?

Get well soon.
 
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soldiergirl

soldiergirl

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Dec 13, 2013
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london
I can relate to mostly what is and has happened in your life and am sorry to say im still muddling through life, I was a weed smoker for 30 odd years and other drugs and alcohol, the self medicating as I called it wasn't a permenant help, im now 45 just been diagnosed I stick to my medication and muddle through.I am a mother of two my son just turned 20 and my daughter of 11 , My son was smoking weed from the age of 14 and by the age of 18 he had a phycicotic episode killed his best friend in our family home , my son is now in a specialised hospital indefinatly , The weed now days from my opion is so strong and the chemicals used to inhance the strength is deadly, I know this cause my ex husband was growing the strong strains of different skunk.This is a long story but all I want to say is really try not to isolate yourself and come off the weed and please try talking to your mum or someone you really trust and cares about you.I wish you all the best and hope you can properly get thing sorted out in your life don't let the years drag on as I did, .
 
TorturedArtistCliche

TorturedArtistCliche

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Warwickshire, UK
Hi, mate. Hope you've sorted through some of these problems and now find yourself in a better, less isolated place.

I was only diagnosed with cyclothymia fairly recently, when my pattern of highs and lows became more pronounced and harder (for me and those around me) to cope with. As my moods have become more extreme in the last few years, I know I have lost friends and isolated myself from members of my family. In part, this has been because I cut contact with the outside world when I'm not feeling on top of things, and partly it's been a case of feeling less tolerant towards people and not being able to relate to them. I'm not sure if this is a cycle I know how to break just yet.

I've found that weed helps to level me out, while alcohol makes me more volatile. After a joint, I feel more relaxed, sociable and communicative. I've smoked cannabis for a number of years, and I've never suffered with paranoia. That being said, I know where my gear comes from and trust the person who grows it, so it's not going to be amped up, chemically ambiguous super skunk stuff that you can get.
 

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