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Can't go on ne more

U

utter madness

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Aug 25, 2012
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175
I've totally crashed I'm suicidal there's no hope for me ne more I want to curl up and die I'm finished I can't go through another episode crazy mood swings r controlling my life thinking about damaging myself
 
V

Viktoria

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Jul 11, 2014
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2,276
Please don't hurt yourself, things may be bad now but by the sounds of it can only get better. Keep talking on here about what's going on for you and if really not coping consider calling 111, going to A&E or call the Samaritans. Sorry I'm not helping much but I sincerely hope you feel better soon and can get through without damaging yourself. Stay strong, hang on in there. X
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Aug 17, 2012
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Location
The West Country
I'm sorry to have missed this when you initially posted.
You're not online now, I really hope that you are managing to keep safe.
I completely agree with Viktoria - please phone 111/999/The Samaritan's before you do anything impulsive to hurt yourself.

I saw on your other thread you were considering making a GP appointment.
Providing that you are safe, phone them up first thing in the morning and tell them it's an emergency.
You can't keep going on waiting for an appointment whilst suffering so badly.
Hopefully the GP will be able to get you support a.s.a.p because it's just not good enough.

Please pop back in and let us know how you are. I really really hope you're ok. :hug1:
 
U

utter madness

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Aug 25, 2012
Messages
175
Hi guys I've just woke up still struggling But I'm ok took 1 my respiridone and it thankfully knocked me out i will right more later as my mind brain still asleep
 
U

utter madness

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Aug 25, 2012
Messages
175
Now I've had a chance to think my gp not interested that much she actually thought I'd saw the psychtrist already the last time I ended up in hospital don't want bombarded with the mh team with there accusations I just feel so bad right now I don't want to face the world ne more the mh services only care when I get low they just ignore the highs I feel so angry talking to them seems pointless I don't trust them ne more
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Location
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It's really hard, isn't it, when the mental health team are a let down.
I'm sorry that they've not really taken you seriously when you've told them about your highs. Must be really frustrating with you.

Are there things you can do to help keep yourself safe?
Also, have you got any PRN medication?
 
U

utter madness

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Joined
Aug 25, 2012
Messages
175
I have to say it was really my old pdoc that wasn't great don't know what this 1 will be like ivenever really seen him when I've been this way when I'm in hospital they have been real nasty to me I'm trying to avoid that the only meds I have r respiridone 2mg that's it I'm on a high again today quite nice but won't last I just want this appt to come thro now x
 
U

utter madness

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Aug 25, 2012
Messages
175
Been up and down today but as usual the happiness never lasts feel a bit low and suicidal tonight surely they can't let me suffer this ne more but I know they will feel so despondent at the moment it's hell in earth I'm certainly being punished for this
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Messages
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Still no word on the appointment, then?
I'm sorry you're struggling so much and have been left with pretty much no support.

Take it one day at a time - if that's too overwhelming, one hour at a time.
You can get yourself through this and things will get better. :hug1:
 
U

utter madness

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Aug 25, 2012
Messages
175
To be honest I haven't seen the pdoc in a yr now I feel let down when I c him he won't do much ne way I won't get ne tablets to stabilise my mood they stopped giving me them ages ago respiridone is all I get I just feel
Crap today but on the go if u know what I mean so very tired my gp is useless and un intrested and I've tried other gp in the same practice makes no difference I'm not convinced that people with a pd suffer racing thoughts or mixed mood states but I'm no expert still got thoughts about dying I feel so along fuck the mh services they mk me mad
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Messages
13,529
Location
The West Country
So you've had tablets to stabilise your mood before? Why were you taken off of them?

I'm sorry you're feeling so despondent about the mental health services.
It really irritates me the way that they don't listen when you tell them what's going on.
I agree that you can't always self-diagnose, but surely you know better than anybody else what's going on in your head?
I think psychiatrists have ego issues and they don't like to be proven wrong once they've made their mind up about someone.
Sorry, that's going off on one a bit. I can sympathise with you though.

Do you go to any support groups? Like is there a Mind in your area or something?
Might not be your cup of tea.
But i'm wondering if being out and among people helps to distract you, or whether you find there's too much going on and that makes your racing thoughts worse.
 
U

utter madness

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Joined
Aug 25, 2012
Messages
175
Had the same thoughts myself about psychtrists they would never admit there wrong so I'm know stuck with a diagnosis I haven't got because my mum died and I suffered yrs of black depression and suicidal tendencies and attempts at my life this rather spiteful doctor how made it pretty clear from the start he never liked me said I had no mh issues and it was my personality that's all wrong i originally had a bipolor diagnosis he took meds of me I will admit I wasn't good at taking them either so I don't know If they work really so it's my own doing I'm trying convince this 1 to try meds again but I don't think he will i still believe I have bipolor cause the symptoms have returned the highs sometimes mixed mood together invincibility racing thoughts and so on I didn't sleep much either it's hell
 
U

utter madness

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Joined
Aug 25, 2012
Messages
175
I just feel like screaming today feel so mixed to it's dreadful just want to be on the go but I feel so tired as well it's weird can't cope with this ne more it's hell
 
FuzzyPeach

FuzzyPeach

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Jan 3, 2015
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92
I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. It's distressing when you are not heard by your p-doc. I wasn't heard for a few months but eventually i was and everything improved from there on it. You have to persist until you are heard.
 
U

utter madness

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 25, 2012
Messages
175
Glad u r finally listen I've been trying for 5 yrs but still they don't listen I will keep trying but it's getting tiring now the paranoia bad tonight as I keep thinking some1 in my house checked the whole place no one there making me very anxious and frightened think peoples after me in someway it's terrifying keeping me awake
 

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