N
Nutter_09
Well-known member
Hi,
After having a few pretty "good" days, i have now had two down days. Just been lying in bed, only surfacing if i have to. Still waiting for my councelling appointment and have one tomoz for an open door one. I am also due to pop into work for a chat after being off for 3 weeks. I am TERREFIED of tomorrow coming round. The open door one will be "OK" i think, just more questions and having to go over everything again, but just facing work - i know they dont understand but have been quite good - I even had a card. But i know deep down I have p**sed them off for letting them down. My job will have to be covered full time and they will all be very stressed and behind with their own work - which I totally understand. Monday - I was quite excited at the thought of going back, but now I am getting into a right state. I can't stop the "what if" thoughts, no matter how I try or how many sleeping pills I take.
I wish their was a pill so you could just "pause" life.
If i am signed off again, the chances of me returning are much slimmer and also my family will be soo angry - but if i go back, will I become worse????
I am so totally fed up - lying in bed watching Harry Potter over and over seems like my only plan so far.
After having a few pretty "good" days, i have now had two down days. Just been lying in bed, only surfacing if i have to. Still waiting for my councelling appointment and have one tomoz for an open door one. I am also due to pop into work for a chat after being off for 3 weeks. I am TERREFIED of tomorrow coming round. The open door one will be "OK" i think, just more questions and having to go over everything again, but just facing work - i know they dont understand but have been quite good - I even had a card. But i know deep down I have p**sed them off for letting them down. My job will have to be covered full time and they will all be very stressed and behind with their own work - which I totally understand. Monday - I was quite excited at the thought of going back, but now I am getting into a right state. I can't stop the "what if" thoughts, no matter how I try or how many sleeping pills I take.
I wish their was a pill so you could just "pause" life.
If i am signed off again, the chances of me returning are much slimmer and also my family will be soo angry - but if i go back, will I become worse????
I am so totally fed up - lying in bed watching Harry Potter over and over seems like my only plan so far.