cannot get out of bed

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pink_wink

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This is my third thread here... I do not suffer from depression per se, but I suffer from debilitating anxiety. Waking up with a racing pulse, hyperventilating during panic attacks, it simply exhausts me physically.

I wake up tired and every single thing that I have to do absolutely drains me physically, and so I go round and round because I need to gather every bit of energy that I have in order to accomplish even basic tasks, which only makes me more anxious about being so useless.

Part of me feels that I have lived enough, I have been so fortunate in my life, I've traveled all around the world, I've been blessed to meet many wonderful people, but enough is enough. I know how to cookie crumbles and how to life cog goes, and I don't think I wanna be part of it anymore if every single day is draining me with anxiety and fear about the future.
 
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Zoe1

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ah but you have that experience to offer to others
who need you ... please dont let them down !

you sound a bit isolated
can you go to any groups either MH ones or non MH ones ?

your doctor may be able to suggest some

:grouphug:
 
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pink_wink

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ah but you have that experience to offer to others
who need you ... please dont let them down !

you sound a bit isolated
can you go to any groups either MH ones or non MH ones ?

your doctor may be able to suggest some

:grouphug:
Thank you so much. If you read my 'Introduce yourself' post you will see that I am unfortunately living abroad with my SO and that's it. It's cynical, but I literally cannot go back to my home country because it's too poor and doesn't offer any help re MH. I'd probably be beaten on the street if I said I have dark thoughts. I've been officially diagnosed with both anxiety and depression, but to me it feels that the anxiety causes the depression since it's so draining.
 
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Zoe1

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so can you say which country you are in now ?
if there is literally no support around you
we can maybe look at what can be done with support from here
 
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Jules5

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Hi Pink_Wink You still have a lot of living to do yet and it will get better. Are you on medications for your anxiety? I know how anxiety feels and it is awful. Feelings that just go unstopped over and over again. I was having anxiety attack while on holiday and I just took extra Valium. Now I am tapering off the valium and I can feel the withdraw effects. But i am so glad to be getting off of it as it is so addictive and you always need more than prescribed. I was at the highest dose.

It sounds like you have had a good life. And still can. Do you have a gp? Any support systems? Wishing you to be better and smile Lots of hugs and love Jules
 
calypso

calypso

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I see that you are registered on here as being in Belgium. Can the doctors there do nothing for you? I'm sure they can help you. Have you any ability to do any therapy to help you with these dark days you are having? There are solutions out there I'm sure.

All that said, anxiety can be crippling can't it? Its never having any respite from it that exhausts you. My deepest sympathies go out to you. Please don't consider thoughts of not going on as there are answers out there its just finding them.
 
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Rea

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You seem hopeless and worried about your future and unfortunately, this is one of the terrible symptoms of depression.

When you will read this message, you will probably think that what I am going to write it's just something stupid and conventional but trust me: depression lies.

The depression and the anxiety can tell to our mind a lot of lies: they can say that our life is over, that we are worthless, that we will suffer forever. But they are wrong.
Mental health issues also drain our energy and also makes us physically exhausted and with terrible physical symptoms.

From my understanding, you are at the beginning of your fight against depression and anxiety and you don't have either a proper medical therapy for your problem. Trust what your doctor and therapist are going to tell you and always tell them about all your symptoms and your feeling. If you think that you are getting really bad, don't be afraid of asking to be admitted to the psychiatric hospital.

The depression and the anxiety are a kind of layers that now are ahead of your personality, but you are still there and you will live again.
Even if you mind thinks that you will suffer forever, how can you really be sure about it?

I've worked in the mental health and I've seen people with depression smiling again after being unable even to talk and to eat.
There is hope and there is the light at the end of the tunnel, it's just that at this moment you don't see it.
 
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JCPraha

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I know the feeling. I have depression, but it manifests itself most often as anxiety, sometimes it is extreme, and it is a dreadful feeling. The worst. I don't have any easy solutions, but I know how it feels. It is really terrible. Very difficult to live with.
 
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pink_wink

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@Zoe1 @Jules5 @calypso thank you very much. I have just moved and I'm waiting for my appointment with a psychiatrist. I am working online with a therapist that I've had for a year now and I've made some progress, I was in even worse shape before.

@Jules5 do you mind PM me and letting me know your Valium dosage? I've written this elsewhere but I'll copy paste. I have become isolated, dealt with some health scares, an abusive relationship, and severe burnout, and I started experiencing panic attacks. All these have generalized to anxiety up to the point where I need anti-anxiety meds (benzos) to get out of the house. I have been put separately on four SSRIs (Lexapro, Paxil, Zoloft, and one more), and every time I would take the first dosage, within a couple of hours I would start trembling, sweating, get extremely confused and agitated, and have the most dilated pupils that I’ve ever seen. I read that these are symptoms of serotonin toxicity, but my psychiatrist always dismissed me, saying I didn’t have it because my initial dosage was low. On the other hand, I’m also a very tiny woman. I even took pics of my dilated pupils to prove my point, but my concerns were dismissed with the “it takes 2-4 weeks for these to work, you have to ride it out etc.” which I absolutely couldn’t do because I would get so confused and sweaty and agitated that I wouldn't even know which country I was in. Right now I am taking benzos as a temporary solution, and they work well... I will ask my psychiatrist to give me Effexor but what if I have serotonin toxicity from SNRIs as well??

Thank you everyone :thanks:
 
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pink_wink

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@calypso @Rea @JCPraha I'm trying to fight the good fight but if I wake up without setting an alarm at 5 am with my heart racing for two hours, and then I'm exhausted the whole day, what can I do? I am afraid that my efforts will not be good enough and that one day I will inevitably be forced to give up.

Things like showering, getting dressed, cooking, simply completely drain me. Working out drains me even more, there is never a 'high' after it. And if I do have this serotonin toxicity (which I am fairly sure I have because I become really sweaty and extremely confused whenever I take an SSRI), then will I become a benzo-addict for the rest of my life? What do I do then?
 
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JCPraha

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It sounds like you really need some type of medication to calm you down. You are right, taking benzos all the time is not a good option. There are other sedating meds. I used to take trazodone (desyrel) that helped me. Currently, I take seroquel at night, which admittedly has some negative effects on the metabolism, but my problems with anxiety were quite bad, so I believe the benefits out way the untoward effects, since it is not possible to live being in a high state of anxiety all the time. The stress of it wears a person down physically and emotionally.
 
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JCPraha

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You may also consider hydroxyzine, it is a sedating anti-histamine type of med. But you really can't continue the way you are, I know how it is, and it is quite terrible.
 
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pink_wink

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@JCPraha we think alike you and I. Trazodone is the fourth antidepressant which was given to me and it didn't work (it is actually a SARI), and I used to take antihistamines just to sleep. I've tried buying hydroxyzine but I was told it was used for anesthesia or smth. I've decided to ask my doctor for Effexor. Any opinions about it?
 
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JCPraha

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You can try it. It is not like the SSRIs, I think it works with norepiniphrine and serotonin. It is worth a try. The reaction of individuals to different meds is so highly variable, you have to try for yourself. But somehow, you need to get some relief from that anxiety. It is really difficult to deal with. I know from my personal experience. Another med with a different mechanism of action is Cymbalta (duloxetine) it worked for me for a while. I only mentioned Trazodone because it is normally sedating. It did not help my depression, but it did make me more relaxed. I still take it upon occasion.

I have treatment resistant depression with a lot of anxiety. I have been taking Brintellix and Seroquel at night. It helps quite a bit. But I was in a bad state, I really needed something that would help. I avoided Seroquel for as long as a could, but it does help. I take a relatively low does of 100 mg at night.
 
Fairy Lucretia

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I struggle to get out of bed everyday
just the thought of being consiouss is sometimes to much to bear
sometimes I think I want to sleep through my life to avoid the bad thoughts and feelings
but then I would mss the good parts like my BF and my dog
sending you lots of love and hugs its great to see you have got such good advise from other members
love Lu xxx
 
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JCPraha

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It is often difficult for me to get out of bed and face the world. Unfortunately, I must get out of bed and get moving.
 
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