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Can you lose your emotional ability?

T

TheOverThinker

New member
Joined
Feb 28, 2015
Messages
1
Location
Im from Ireland but i spend most of my time living
Let me start by saying thank you for whoever reads this. Its gonna be a long one but i really need some insight :)

So im a 20year old male from Ireland and I'm terrified i have lost all ability to feel "good" emotions.

Lets start from the start. As a kid i was this sensitive, caring and thoughtful kid who cared about everyone and took peoples emotions on board. My mother always told me 'You wear your heart on your sleeve". Thats who i was. In school i was bullied and never had many friends. I also moved a lot so i never really had . . . stability, i suppose you'd call it that. So around the age of 16 i stated to self harm (Not sure if it helped or i was just doing it cause its what all my friends were doing). I became very closed off from my family, locked my bedroom door. I didn't engage with anyone except through my computer screen.

Anyways time went on, i finished school and moved country by myself. I build a life for myself. I had a job, i had friends, i had an apartment. I was, as far as i can remember, happy. -its probably worth noting that i drank everyday for 8months while i was living in this country, it was just the scene i was in. I worked a pretty popular bar.

So everything was good :) But then i came home and i started to feel my 16 year old self coming back. I suffered very badly with death anxiety and low mood (depression).

Through all this, all i feel these days is angry, irritability, disappointment and worst of all Extreme Anxiety. I can't seem to feel happiness anymore but scariest of all . . . . i also can't feel sadness.

For example, i broke up with my girlfriend of near 2 years and not so much as a tear came from my eye. I felt the exact same way after as i did before. I didn't care. Now flash back to when my first girlfriend broke up with me. 3 weeks of constant crying. I was 16, in the middle of a battle with depression.

Another example, before all of this i would never say anything to hurt anyones feelings. Now, ill say whatever i want and never feel bad for making someone cry or feeling hurt. Thats not who i used to be.

Probably best to note that i get a massive load of nostalgia. The kind that if it goes on for long enough will make me feel like killing myself (Figuratively, of course)

I just want to know whats going with me. Someone please reply. If i have no given enough information please just ask. I just wanna feel normal again.

The Over Thinker . . .
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
I think that mental health issues can wreak havoc with your natural 'flow' of emotions.

Depression can cause you to feel numb and unable to process emotions, which can at times make you feel a bit 'cold'.
Other times, it only takes something very little for the floodgates to open up and for a long crying spell to come.
So whilst I appreciate that you've been struggling with anxiety and low mood, this sense you have that you've lost some emotional ability is something that's quite common for people to get when they experience depression and anxiety.

Have you spoken to a doctor about these feelings or thought about seeking out counselling?
 
M

MYTIMEHASCOME

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 12, 2011
Messages
547
Let me start by saying thank you for whoever reads this. Its gonna be a long one but i really need some insight :)

So im a 20year old male from Ireland and I'm terrified i have lost all ability to feel "good" emotions.

Lets start from the start. As a kid i was this sensitive, caring and thoughtful kid who cared about everyone and took peoples emotions on board. My mother always told me 'You wear your heart on your sleeve". Thats who i was. In school i was bullied and never had many friends. I also moved a lot so i never really had . . . stability, i suppose you'd call it that. So around the age of 16 i stated to self harm (Not sure if it helped or i was just doing it cause its what all my friends were doing). I became very closed off from my family, locked my bedroom door. I didn't engage with anyone except through my computer screen.

Anyways time went on, i finished school and moved country by myself. I build a life for myself. I had a job, i had friends, i had an apartment. I was, as far as i can remember, happy. -its probably worth noting that i drank everyday for 8months while i was living in this country, it was just the scene i was in. I worked a pretty popular bar.

So everything was good :) But then i came home and i started to feel my 16 year old self coming back. I suffered very badly with death anxiety and low mood (depression).

Through all this, all i feel these days is angry, irritability, disappointment and worst of all Extreme Anxiety. I can't seem to feel happiness anymore but scariest of all . . . . i also can't feel sadness.

For example, i broke up with my girlfriend of near 2 years and not so much as a tear came from my eye. I felt the exact same way after as i did before. I didn't care. Now flash back to when my first girlfriend broke up with me. 3 weeks of constant crying. I was 16, in the middle of a battle with depression.

Another example, before all of this i would never say anything to hurt anyones feelings. Now, ill say whatever i want and never feel bad for making someone cry or feeling hurt. Thats not who i used to be.

Probably best to note that i get a massive load of nostalgia. The kind that if it goes on for long enough will make me feel like killing myself (Figuratively, of course)

I just want to know whats going with me. Someone please reply. If i have no given enough information please just ask. I just wanna feel normal again.

The Over Thinker . . .

I relate to this a lot - I feel that I could have written that post

The nostalgic bit kills me... I think to myself I'll never have a first job again i'll never go to primary school again i'll never see this person again......... ahhhhhhhh it's horrible, unfortunetly I dunno what's wrong with either of us! but take solace in knowing theres probably loads like us!
 
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