Can you "hold down" a meaningful relationship?

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ramboghettouk

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#21
I remember that survival of the fittest business used to be pushed a lot, as one writer put it "Survival of the fittest, the philosophy of the street punk"

Liked that comment as the whole thing used to haunt me when i was going through the thatcher years, i'm no longer claiming new labour are different.

Trouble with mentally ill women is they've got baggage like you, remember at highcroft them saying, mentally ill people shouldn't have relationships with mentally ill people as you tend to lean on each other.

Someone like me theres the question who will accept me?

The mentally ill women upstairs she's not a bitch, she has come off medication and turns out the medication was doing something

Maybe i shouldn't have touched a neighbour but thats different issue
 
Bluemoon

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#22
RE: ramboghettouk

I met a woman last year who has a similar diagnosis as me, but when I told her about my problems she basically said that she just wanted to be friends. I wasn't really after anything more because I had only just met her, but I took it as a sort of early warning that if I ever developed feelings for her she wouldn't be interested. After seeing her once or twice after that I haven't seen her since and she didn't seem particular interested in talking with me during those last couple of times ( she might not have been feeling so good, so I have to be careful how I take that ). She mentioned that she liked the fact that I was confident on first meeting but to be honest, with the problems I have and all, I don't always feel confident of course. It does bother me that I was written off like that, even as just being friends, so I'm very worried and cautious about how other women are going to react in the future.

Good news though - my doctor is talking about reducing my medication so hopefully my recovery is progressing albeit at a slow rate. Hopefully in the future my case will be closed and I won't have to worry about telling a potential partner or even friends about my diagnosis.
 
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ramboghettouk

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#23
One reason i embarked on a relationship with this women was i was telling a counciller how women avoid me as a schitsoprenic, he said "Have you ever avoided a women because she's schitsoprenic"

Thought i had a new diagnosis and was going to be taken off drugs but today got the minutes of my CPA no mention

Feeling stressed up after women problem, someone should tell me to see a dr saw big chief psych thur, not that it helped

I know people have enough on their plates without my negativity, is the glass half full or half empty
 
Bluemoon

Bluemoon

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#24
Nah, don't worry about the negativity - we're here to share are experiences and it helps others who are in similar situations. Some of my posts here have been somewhat depressing but I feel that if I share them others will relate to my experiences - it's good to know your not alone, thank God for the internet !
 
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ramboghettouk

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#26
WAs reading the rethink magazine, it appears that been negative is connected with having insight, your down because you've got this illness

Not so long ago the NSF that is now rethink liked the word "Sufferer" to describe those with the condition
 
Bluemoon

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#27
WAs reading the rethink magazine, it appears that been negative is connected with having insight, your down because you've got this illness
I will agree 100% with that - shame that I keep getting told to be positive and to stop being so negative by family members especially my Dad. I would be positive if I didn't have to live with this illness and it's associated problems that come with it - something my family members can't seem to grasp ( except my mum who has bi-polar ), but then it's hard for someone who has ( always had ) good mental health to see things from an ill person's perspective.

Not so long ago the NSF that is now rethink liked the word "Sufferer" to describe those with the condition
It's an accurate word to use, I don't know how else to describe the experience of being Schizophrenic. The concentration and memory issues are bad enough but the voices are the worst part. I mean for 10 years I've been distracted and unable to enjoy the things that most healthy people take for granted such as reading a book or laying in bed in peace - although I don't have paranoid schizophrenia the voices that take the form of my neighbours are the worst part since their content relates to what they could be thinking or rather saying about me to other members in their households. If that isn't suffering I don't really know what is. Kind of like being bullied all over again.

Anyway, I need a good :tea: - at least I can enjoy that despite my audio hallucinations :unsure:.
 
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Michael

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#28
Relationships

I have to admit that if it was purely up to me my realtionship with my long suffering wife would have ended a few months after we married (nearly 31 years ago) She alone kept some semblance of order in my life, ignored me when I needed to be ignored and supported me when I needed support.
I believe we have a relationship now that defies words that come anywhere near the true extent/depth we have.

So yes, relationships can be made to last, but it does depend on one of you having the strength and vision to see through it all.

Michael
 
Bluemoon

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#30
I have to admit that if it was purely up to me my realtionship with my long suffering wife would have ended a few months after we married (nearly 31 years ago) She alone kept some semblance of order in my life, ignored me when I needed to be ignored and supported me when I needed support.
I believe we have a relationship now that defies words that come anywhere near the true extent/depth we have.

So yes, relationships can be made to last, but it does depend on one of you having the strength and vision to see through it all.

Michael
To be honest I know that I have to try to find someone despite the way I feel about things - it's just I know it's going to be extra hard with the symptoms and the moods that come with my diagnosis. Telling someone about the diagnosis will be a chilling and anxious experience for me - but it's not like I'm going to introduce myself and say, "Oh and I have Schizophrenia."
Will have to wait for the right time ( when is it ever eh ? ) and break the news slowly and carefully. I was told once that mental illness just needs some love - which is reflected with the recovery rates of those in a long term relationships compared to single peeps like me :).
 
Bluemoon

Bluemoon

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#31
i can barely hold down a meaningful relationship with myself
To be honest I'm finding that I have to coach myself through most days just to make sure that I don't get too stressed or anxious about things. Focusing on the positives in my life and what I do have is what allows me to keep control on the negative flotsam that my sub-concious kicks up each day. It is, just like you said, trying to "have a meaningful relationship with myself" and believe me I don't always succeed. But this is just my interpretation, you might mean something somewhat different by your comment up there ^^^.
 
sandybob

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#32
To be honest I'm finding that I have to coach myself through most days just to make sure that I don't get too stressed or anxious about things. Focusing on the positives in my life and what I do have is what allows me to keep control on the negative flotsam that my sub-concious kicks up each day. It is, just like you said, trying to "have a meaningful relationship with myself" and believe me I don't always succeed. But this is just my interpretation, you might mean something somewhat different by your comment up there ^^^.

no, that's exactly what i meant. I am usually so negative and down on myself that i couldn't possibly consider a meaningful relationship yet.. not until i like myself a bit better :rolleyes:
 
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Michael

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#33
Difficulty in explaining

Meaningful relationships -

When I talk about having a meaningful relationship, I (think) mean it when I am able to reconize it, when I am down I certainly don't reconize any form of relatinship with anyone - including myself!
At all other times I reconize that my wife puts up with an awful lot of c**p and that in itself to me is the realisation of a meaningful relationship.

Irrespective of marriage, I also think that meaningful relationships exsit outside in the real world - maybe we are mistaking the true meaning of the word for its sexual connotation?

I like to think (especially when my head is straight as it seems to be at the moment) that even on the internet now, we are having dialogue and a true meaningful relationship!
It is better I would concede that a face to face relationship may be better, but when I think back to before the internet it was extremely lonely out there! and therefore I consider myself very fortunate for being able to express myself here.

I have always been told to talk and then talk some more - with people face to face this is not always possible, how many people have you come across who are unable to actually 'listen', they are very good at talking about themselves but are unable to 'listen' to you, us men are prime examples of this.

So, what can I say now? it is down to each of us (I think) to make more of an effort to talk - even if it is 'only' on the internet!

I look forward to loads more conversations!

Michael :welcome:
 
sandybob

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#34
I agree, Michael, that meaningful relationships don't have to be in the sense of a relationship / partnership with the opposite sex (or indeed same sex, depending on your particular persuasion).. platonic friendships are just as (if not more) important ..

i have trouble with these too .

The internet can be a great place for interacting and forming friendships.
 
Bluemoon

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#35
The internet has helped me a great deal these past 8 years since I finished my studies. I read the news on-line ( mainly because I choose which stories I want to read, more or less a digital newspaper, unlike TV broadcasts - I don't like to see videos of some of the violence going on, it depresses me ), I've played on-line games on occasion ( another great way of mixing with people in a fun way, although some of the teen yobs can get your blood boiling :) ), use it to learn new subjects by using wikipedia or other reputable sites and just basically surf finding new things out that I never would've found out otherwise. It's also great to use instant messaging to keep in touch with old friends as well.

Without the Internet I probably would've found the past 8 years fairly difficult and perhaps boring to an extent with being unable to work and have the rewards that come with it. But I do other things too, like work out at the gym, read books, listen to my MP3 collection and of course, do my voluntary work once a week.

But web forums like these are just pure gold when you find a good one that has posters who don't attack you for having different beliefs or allow trolling to go on. I've had some very interesting discussions and debates with people about all kinds of things. When your feeling lonely during those long winter nights and have nothing better to do then you can just log in and get talking with people all over the world, which I still find amazing despite how long the internet has been going for now.

Yep, relationships and friendships can be made ( or broken :) ) on the internet and your identity is protected if there are any nasty arguments or disagreements. Heck, many couples are now meeting on-line these days and many find great matches to complement their lives - might try that myself one day but God knows I have to be careful.

Has the internet really helped anyone here this much ?
 
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ramboghettouk

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#36
Many years ago i saw a psychiatrist, he was into science fiction and i didn't know it but on my hospital notes it said "He spends all day lieing on his bed reading science fiction" science fiction was very suspect 30yrs ago.

We got talking and he said that in Isaac Asimov's The Naked Sun, it is hard to see how schitsoprenia could exist

In the book they all live alone in houses run by robots and communicate byh video conferencing, it was an early version of the internet they used to communicate with each other
 
Bluemoon

Bluemoon

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#37
Many years ago i saw a psychiatrist, he was into science fiction and i didn't know it but on my hospital notes it said "He spends all day lieing on his bed reading science fiction" science fiction was very suspect 30yrs ago.

We got talking and he said that in Isaac Asimov's The Naked Sun, it is hard to see how schitsoprenia could exist

In the book they all live alone in houses run by robots and communicate byh video conferencing, it was an early version of the internet they used to communicate with each other
Today we are seeing a lot of science-fiction becoming science-fact - I wish someone ( Stephen Hawking ? ) would crack warp drive theory or maybe as a first step some fast interplanetary drive design that takes you to the other planets and moons of the solar system in a short time. I always. . . wanted to go. . . into space :D.
 
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ramboghettouk

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#38
Heard star trek called neo colonialism, also read in a science mag that stephen hawkings is the disabled witchdoctor of science and he isn't that brilliant

If he hadn't made the money, he'd have been put in some hospital home and left to rot, he'd have developed pneumonia and they'd have left him to die
 
Bluemoon

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#40
Anyone see the recent 2 part documentary on Channel 4 about Steven Hawking recently ?

He just keeps on going :) - very persistent with his work as well.

Looks like he's lost the use of his hand to select words on his comp and now uses a device attached to his cheek to select the words he wants to say.

I wonder how his experience has effected his mental health over the years, especially being confined to his chair and unable to move ?

I know I'd find it too much to live with, but then again he has good mental health and can do what he likes doing the most - trying to solve cosmological problems.
 
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