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Can you help me advise a friend of mine? He seems to be going through stuff in life.

W

whiteflag

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2008
Messages
18
Can you help me advise a friend of mine? He seems to be going through stuff in life.

A guy friend of mine needs help, and I seem to be helpless, but anxious to help.

I have a close guy friend who I have known since childhood and my husband knows that our friendship is close, so that is ok. We are the same age, 36, and he is not married (neer been). The thing is that I know he is going through some issues of his own, and I know some of it involves noticeable tics (movements, not sounds), and I have a feeling that this is affecting him. The thing is that, he has started acting a little withdrawn since the last few months, and this incidentally has been around the same time that I noticed the tics. I feel that the tics are part of something else (dare i say it, something more serious), and i think this is affecting him. Reason I know this is for two reasons: 1) I mentioned to him a couple of weeks ago, that he hasnt been coming out and that us guys were missing him. I didnt want to ask anything directly as to what I'd noticed about him. I think I would be open to discussing anything with him. How my hubby will feel is another matter, but he'd have to understand. 2) his sister mentioned to me that he is going through some stuff and it is bringing him down, but that the last thing he wants is to discuss it with any of his friends, and is just afraid to talk about it.

I have a feeling that my friend knows what he has/is affecting him and needs to talk to someone like a professional, just to talk about stuff. With the way I see him acting, I dont think he is ready to do anything in terms of checking into any facility or joining any regular program.

Assuming that he could have maybe just a one-off session with a professional to talk to, and see if he'd like to continue it, where would be the first place to start?

Thanks, I hope you can help me help him.
 
T

Twylight

Guest
All you can really do at the moment is keep your eye on him

If you approached his GP they couldn't discuss anything about him (confidentiality)
But they might listen to his sister ?
 
P

Pipa

Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2008
Messages
6
Location
UK
Can I firstly say he's a very lucky guy to have a friend who cares about him the way you do?
It's hard for friends and/or partners to try to help because sometimes it's rejected or those trying to help feel they don't know what to say or do.
All I can say is you can be a listening ear for your friend if or when he feels ready to talk. You can research all the Mental Health resources within your local area so if he expresses a wish to go down that route you can give him all the info (your local health authority are the first point of call, but there are many fabulous local MH charities out there who do amazing work that are definatley worth looking into). It sounds like he needs someone to talk to, but frustratingly, he will only talk when the time is right for him, and none of us can have control over when that might be. All you can do is be the good friend that he needs, listen if he talks, and be aware of other agencies you can offer him info on if he expresses the desire to talk to someone further about it. Good luck, and please don't forget that when supporting him, you need some support from others too. P :hug:
 
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