can,t go on ne more

[mad as a hatter]

i feel like life,s not worth living ne more i,m in so much despair 2 nite that i feel like i,m goin tk an overdose i can,t cope ne more i feel so let down by the mh services the simply don,t care never have i can,t stand this pain i,ve got ne more i try and fight it everyday but it feel so hopeless i can,t win this fight ne more maybe i don,t want 2 it,s simple as that it does sound like i,m givin up and i feel guilty about that cause i,m lettin every 1 down especially my family but i feel they,d be better off without me havin 2 look after me i should be able 2 do that myself but idon,t now how 2 ne more this soundslike a bit rant maybbe it is but it,s how i do feel life is shit and i can,t stand it ne more

 

[honeyquince]

Hey Mad as a Hatter, sorry things are feeling so low at the moment. Tough, but do try to remember that better times are ahead.

We're here for you!

 

[mad as a hatter]

thanks honey for ur support things do feel so hopeless right now can,t c past gettin through the nxt hr never mind it gettin ne better

 

[honeyquince]

Hi there, I've to go to bed now... but if things get worse then please make a phone call! Sams nos. is: 08457 90 90 90

Take care and I look forward to seeing you around tomorrow,

Honey, xx

 

[Lozzi_1004]

Hi mad as a hatter!

How're you feeling today??

Lozzi

 

[mad as a hatter]

hi lozzi i,m just about coping the mood swings r terrible but it always seems 2 be at nite my mood takes a complete dive i feel in so much despair it,s just a nightmare i c my pdoc soon so it,s just a matter tryin hang on till then she is really good hopefully i will be able 2 get some more help but i,m not holding my breath mh services here r a total joke most time

 

[rollinat]

Glad to hear that you will see your psychiatrist soon and hope they can offer you some more support. It just seems such a lottery depending on where you live.

Take care.

Rollinat

 

[sweet insanity]

Plz plz hold on...things get better around the bend...its easy for me to say...but I´ve been there and the mere fact that you are still here is that you my friend is a survivor and you will get through this...u must trust me on this....
Hold on....

 

[Lozzi_1004]

O'm really glad you're OK! I was reading the thread this morning thinking "oh my gosh, I hope you're OK" I can sympathise with you there mad as a hatter! My mood is always worse on a night, whether its one end of the scale or the other just hang in there til you can see your pysch

 

[mad as a hatter]

thanks all u for ur support it,s so hard the pain inside is so bad at times but i won,t have 2 tell u what that,s like i hate the night times i feel the despair already when i went on 1 my mad spendin sprees a few wks back i bought this computer it,s the best thing i ever had cause i,d never known about the forums and so much support i get i,m goin away with my family at the weekend for a wk somewhere nice quiet i,m taken me dog so i can maybe have some time on me own then i c my pdoc 2 days after i get bk so it,s not so bad it just by luck my pdoc is so good our i,d be a lot worse than i already am it,s just in between appointments i,m strugglin but she doesn,t know how much so that,s somethin i,m holdin on 2 seeing her that sounds sad but she,s the only mh support i got i,ve had constant battle with them for yrs telling me nothin wrong with u sayin 2 my parents has she always been a attention seeker but my pdoc always stood by me in other words sayin other docs was wrong but took 11 yrs 2 diagnose bi polor had 1t 7 yrs i feel like i,m losing it at times i just want 2 write 2 nite but i don,t wanna go on and on

 

[Lozzi_1004]

You need too be honest with you psych at your next appointment! Tell her just how much you struggle between the appointments, it's good that she's so supportive you need that at times like this
It's amazing how a silly spending spree can uncover something you really need

The week away sounds nice, might be just what you need and i'm sure your doggie will look after you

Lozzi

 

[mad as a hatter]

i feel like shit again it,s just such a struggle i fell asleep in a really postive mood woke feeling suicidal same as before can,t go on ne more i hate this bloody mixed mood i want escape it i feel like crying i feel so low i can,t believe i,m lettin this happen like i,m bein punished or somethin the pain i,m feelin again is so bad i want 2 cut myself i,ve tried talking 2 my pdoc about this but i struggle 2 do this i hate life at times but somethin seems 2 keep me goin i wish it would let me go and i,d be at piece with myself i,ve been put on this planet by god 2 suffer cause i,m such a bad person and they all hate me especially the mh services i can,t fight them ne more been yrs off hurt off them bastards treat me like i,m 5 yrs old or somethin well i,m not oh this hell i,m in i think

 

[rollinat]

Mad as a Hatter.

As you said - i hate life at times but somethin seems 2 keep me goin - hang on in there, keep posting and I hope you can get some help - when do you see your psychiatrist?

Take care of yourself.

Rollinat

 

[mad as a hatter]

thanks rollinat these mood swings r totally off the wall 2 nite i,ve went opposite way now feel so high like i could tk the world on got me ipod i wanna dance in the street not in 7 yrs off havin bipolor have i experinced likes this it,s a mad place 2 be i c my pdoc on the 18th this month goin on holiday this weekend for a wk lookin forward 2 that be nice quiet don,t mind these highs it,s when they dive into the lows i feel in so much despair like earlier i simply don,t get this

 

[mad as a hatter]

here we go again my mood took a major dive again and i feel in so much despair suicidal again this how it,s been last few wks crazy highs and bad lows how much more can i tk this i,m tryin hold 2 i c my pdoc i feel like hittin my head off a brick wall in total anger i hate life and i hate bein like this i know it was my fault i got bipolor cause the what happened 2 me in the past i shouldn,t never let it it,s destroyin me this it eats away u why do i feel so guilty doesn,t matter how hard i fight bk it always seems 2 beat me there,s always a barrier put in front me 2 climb over i,m probabaly nott makin ne sense ne more no doubt my mood will totally turn again and i,ll feel high can,t c ne way out this hell i,m in