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Can someone with BPD change?

Control1234

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A few months ago I had a psychotic episode which caused me to reflect on my life and made me realise I have been a bad person for a number of years and I never even realised that I had problems. Since this, the guilt has been unbearable and some days I just don’t know how I can go on. I just don’t know why I never realised before and stopped my behaviour. I have started seeing a therapist and she thinks I might have BPD. Whilst this may explain some of my past behaviour I don’t believe it explains it all. My therapist just says I can learn to manage BPD but I guess what I want to know is if it is possible to change? I feel like I have gone through a revelation and I am no longer the same person I was before My psychosis happened, in a way I have seen the light. I am so remorseful and honestly don’t know why I was the way I was - part of me wonders if I was just bad rather than having a diagnosis.
 
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bpd2020

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I do not believe having a psychotic episode is something a person can control. Whatever you did does not make you a bad person because you were unwell. You say your therapist thinks you have bpd. I would see a psychiatrist as in the UK they are the only people who can make such a diagnosis.
 
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bpd2020

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I just read your previous posts and I remember you now. You can change because you do not like the way you used to be. That in itself is a change. I understand you have a lot of guilt over things but you are having therapy and doing your best to change.
 

Control1234

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Thanks for your reply. My therapist feels I am definitely on the spectrum for BPD she specialises in it and it just concerned me that she said it can be managed rather than cured. I don’t want to be the person I was anymore but I just don’t know how to move forward when I am full of shame and guilt. I feel so stuck and feel like there is no hope for me.
 
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bpd2020

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I am afraid, bpd cannot be cured. I do understand that can be hard to hear. In time I hope you will be more comfortable with that. With moving forward with your feelings of shame and guilt, I feel the most helpful thing is to continue to discuss it with your therapist. It can take time to process things like that.
 
mandy125

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hello there is no pill for eupd there are only certain therapy's mainly talking which help you to work through the process of certain inflicting events that have happened to you, as bpd2020 suggested i recommend you continue therapy all the best x
 

Control1234

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Thank you Mandy. I just feel like I am already not the person I was in so many ways - things that I would have got worked up about I no longer do since my episode, makes me wonder if I have something wrong with me or was I just ‘evil’ and have woken up to it.
 
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bpd2020

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You are not evil. Please do not think that about yourself. You acted in ways you did not realise would effect others. Now you are aware of that and want to change.
 
mandy125

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I don't think you are evil I think this way of thinking means you are open to change x
 

Control1234

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Thank you. I know in my heart I am not evil but sometimes I just look back and think why on earth did I ever get upset about the things I got upset about and why did I act the way I did. I could be so controlling and so needy etc etc and I don’t know why and it makes me feel so ashamed then I have the added guilt of what I have put my family through this year. Think I have had one of those days where I have been overthinking too much. I have actually been getting myself into a really good routine recently and it’s really helped me, today I didn’t do any of it and I have noticed a difference in my mind with ruminating about what’s happened this year. one badish day canmake it feel like everyday is bad when thats not actually the case! I know my episode was an illness but i just feel like I need to take something positive from it and learn from it in order to actually process it.Thank you for your replies, you have really helped me feel more positive again.
 
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bpd2020

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Establishing a routine is a great idea and not something easy to do either. You are doing so well to be able to do that. I know what you mean about a bad day sending us spiralling. I think every single person on this earth has done things they regret. if we learn from them and it changes us then it is more like a lesson then a fault. Nothing you did was on purpose.
 
Blue Opal

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I think everyone is capable of a certain amount of change. Especially if you realise that how you behaved before isn't how you want to behave from now on. It can be difficult, we cannot always control our behavior. But realization is the first step towards change.
I used to have BPD but through 16 years of therapy and personal growth I now no longer have enough traits to actually have BPD. I still have traits though. You can definitely change to a certain extent, but really changing your personality I believe isn't possible. It's the behavior that can change.
 
GeminiMoon

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I read 50% of people with BPD recover in 5-10 and no longer meet the criteria.
 
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Girl interupted

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Yes.

With often painful hard work in therapy. You need a professional to help to untangle the trauma.

But change is possible. You just really have to want it.
 

Control1234

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I really want to change. I think I have changed - the whole thing feels like a huge wake up call it’s just whether I can get over the guilt and shame from my past. I have so much to live for and I know I am a good parent - I feel like my children must show that there is some good in me as they are just the best
 
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