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Can someone please explain to me what in the world just happened?



Feb 27, 2020

I hope that everyone on here is having a really great afternoon. I just need somebody to help me clear up a situation that just happened.

I have a neighbor that is about 65 years old. My neighbor was in the hospital in March because she had a 95 percent blockage and had to have a stint put in. Like it was pretty bad, she was almost out of this world. I have been super overprotective of my neighbor since she got out of the hospital. Like I offer to go and do stuff for her because she is older and is a diabetic in addition to having the heart issue and we are in the middle of a pandemic.

My neighbor called me about 25 minutes ago and wanted me to go and buy her some cigarettes. I refuse to go and buy her some cigarettes, whether it is through my money or her money. I am not going to be the reason why my neighbor ends up back in the hospital or worse. This is someone who in addition to not only having diabetes and heart issues also has an extremely bad back due to years of being a CNA.

My neighbor has spent the better part of the last 25 minutes arguing with me because I am trying to do the right thing or what I am perceiving to be the right thing. I am being called every name in the book. I am being called lazy. My neighbor is literally calling me lazy because I won't go buy her any cigarettes. Do you have any idea how fucking irrational that sounds?

Not to toot my own horn but I literally have busted my ass on 10,978 occasions for this woman. If she wants me to go to the grocery store, I do it. If she wants me to go halfway across town and pick up her prescriptions, I am on it. My neighbor is in a situation where she barely gets any food stamps and I let her come into my freezer and let her get whatever she wants. Its not a problem, the invitation is always there for her to do that.

When my neighbor asks me to do something, she doesn't even pay me to do it. I do that shit because she's older and I was raised to actually help my damn elders. I am so fucking mad right now that it appears that my head has become a tea kettle and smoke is fuming out of it.

Its a pot meet kettle situation. I am the last person to be concerned about anyone's health. I am a diabetic. However my neighbor has more reasons to live because she's a grandma and those kids need her and she also has a big huge family and I don't want to be the reason why she gets taken away from them. Sometimes it literally feels as though I am dealing with a 65 year old toddler.

I am fully aware of how mean that is to say but given the current predicament, please give me a pass.

I give my neighbor chance after chance because she is older and cause her kids have sadly passed away and nobody even visits her unless its a birthday or somebody dies.

I am not a stingy broad at all. If my neighbor had asked me to go pick up a loaf of bread, I would be on it.

Its noon here and my neighbor has not even eaten yet and yet she wants some damn cigarettes. Please tell me how does that make any sense at all.

My neighbor is going on and on about how I am not her doctor or her child or her man and she's a grown woman and I need to stop being worried about her. OMG....its not about any of that. Its about making sure that this woman doesn't die early on, she's 65!

Please tell me what I did wrong in this situation. Please explain to me what in the world just happened, cause I have no idea. I am just baffled at the moment. Am I being irrational in this situation? Should I just go and buy the cigarettes?

Jigglypuff Fan

Well-known member
Jun 26, 2014
Avenue Q in the US
Nothing. You have your own morals and principles and you were right that the cigarettes are extremely bad for her health. You did what you believed was right for her health and you have a very good point that her family needs her and still wants to see her healthy. I would have done the same thing. You don’t need her family turning on you if she ended up getting cancer from her smoking habits. If she fails to see you are just looking out for her best interest then that’s her problem. A true friend would let their friends do something extremely dangerous for their health especially if that thing can worsen an already existing condition. You don’t let a blind person operate a chainsaw and you can’t let a woman with heart problems smoke two packs a day.
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