• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

can someone help please!

D

Drowell

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2009
Messages
2
To whomever may read this,
I really need some help. I suffer from either Anti-social personality disorder or narcisistic personality disorder, I have read them both and honestly they both fit my behaviors and attitudes very well. The recent realization and acceptance of this has been a source of great deppression in me. The reason for this depression is because; I have a wonderful family an awesome wife who is lovely, smart and caring and obviously tollerant by her 9 years of marriage to me. I also have 2 wonderful boys 2 and 4 whom are my world. These things should not be a reason for depression but if I am ASPD or NPD how can I ever hope to treat them the way they deserve to be? My poor wife has suffered me like an illness all these years and is fed up, according to what I've read I cannot blame for this. I know she has been through much with me, and I don't want to put the boys through the same anguish.
All of the literature I have read regarding both illnesses indicates profound bleakness some web sites refer to people with these conditions as monsters, hopeless wastes of resources. They have tests to identify us labeled spot an emotional vampire and the only advise offered to people whom may find themselves around me is to get away. About a year ago I went to a therapist and he asked me what he could do for me. I told him what I suspected was wrong with me and that I just wnt help so I can be a better person. At the end of our session he indicated I could return or not it really was of little consequense which again reinforced my feelings of hopelessness.
This is really kind of my last hope. What can I do to help myself and my family? Can I ever be human or must I exist as something else for ever I am begining to feel the only way to spare my family is suicide. I don't say that for your attention it is a logical answer to an unsolvable problem perhaps the only selfless act I can concieve. Of coarse it wouldn't be viewed that way in the end I'm sure even that would be antiquated to my selfish nature :mad:
So here I am in a room full of strangers asking no begging for your help please, please help me and my family they deseve so much and all they have is me.

Any advise, links to sites, excercises to develop empathy, ways to understand the entitlements of others anything really thank you
David
 
Q

quality factor

Guest
To whomever may read this,
I really need some help. I suffer from either Anti-social personality disorder or narcisistic personality disorder, I have read them both and honestly they both fit my behaviors and attitudes very well. The recent realization and acceptance of this has been a source of great deppression in me. The reason for this depression is because; I have a wonderful family an awesome wife who is lovely, smart and caring and obviously tollerant by her 9 years of marriage to me. I also have 2 wonderful boys 2 and 4 whom are my world. These things should not be a reason for depression but if I am ASPD or NPD how can I ever hope to treat them the way they deserve to be? My poor wife has suffered me like an illness all these years and is fed up, according to what I've read I cannot blame for this. I know she has been through much with me, and I don't want to put the boys through the same anguish.
All of the literature I have read regarding both illnesses indicates profound bleakness some web sites refer to people with these conditions as monsters, hopeless wastes of resources. They have tests to identify us labeled spot an emotional vampire and the only advise offered to people whom may find themselves around me is to get away. About a year ago I went to a therapist and he asked me what he could do for me. I told him what I suspected was wrong with me and that I just wnt help so I can be a better person. At the end of our session he indicated I could return or not it really was of little consequense which again reinforced my feelings of hopelessness.
This is really kind of my last hope. What can I do to help myself and my family? Can I ever be human or must I exist as something else for ever I am begining to feel the only way to spare my family is suicide. I don't say that for your attention it is a logical answer to an unsolvable problem perhaps the only selfless act I can concieve. Of coarse it wouldn't be viewed that way in the end I'm sure even that would be antiquated to my selfish nature :mad:
So here I am in a room full of strangers asking no begging for your help please, please help me and my family they deseve so much and all they have is me.

Any advise, links to sites, excercises to develop empathy, ways to understand the entitlements of others anything really thank you
David
My first instinct to your post is to advise you to see your GP who will , if necessary, refer you to your local Community Mental Health Team for further assessment.
It is sometimes too easy to research perceived symptoms on the internet and match them to a self-diagnosis which may or may not be accurate. You need to seek professional advice as your first step.
Contemplating suicide is not the way forward, particularly as you care for your family so much.
If a firm diagnosis is reached then it is possible that appropriate treatment will be available to you.

Keep posting and good luck.

QF.
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
David, i have a undx PD and have put my OH through hell for the last 17 years. he is the one who has cared for me to stop me from being put into hospital. i know my family (i have 2 boys too) wouldnt be better off without me as when i am level i am everything they want, im not all bad. i just need help to keep level including meds as i have depression (maybe more)

dont allow others to say what you are or who you are. your wife has been with you for the last 9 years for a reason and you have 2 boys who need you. i take longer to learn things when it comes to behaviour and reactions but i will keep going until i get somewhere.

please dont give up, keep talking :)
 
M

maudikie

Guest
To Drowell.

I agree with Quality Factor. See your G.P. first. I don't know much about the conditions you mention, but I do wonder if group work with others would help, with the presence of a professional advisor. You obviously love your wife and your boys and are trying to get better, and you are to be complimented on this. The world is a bit drab for everyone at present, and winter is dark. We could all do with some cheerful news and some sun. But I do think that group work would help you. All best wishes, and remem:unsure:ber to get up in the morning and say to yourself today is better than yesterday, and tomorrow will be better. Incidentally does your wife get a break, as if you have a diagnosed condition she is entitled to a carer's break, and could have an assessment of her needs by the Mental health Team. :unsure:
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Moderator
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
13,758
Location
hiding behind the sofa
drowell

I wouldnt take much notice of the internet. Every site can be different. Its no good self diagnosing cos you can place the symptoms to fit even tho they dont.

The only way to get a proper diagnosis. Is to ask your GP for a referral for an assesment. But dont expect an immediate result. Mine has taken years, and only a few weeks ago after 3months in hospital they changed the diagnosis from bipolar to schizoaffective disorder. So even if you get a diagnosis you have to wait until they can get the correct medication for you
 
iffybob

iffybob

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
4,858
Location
England
Boo

I agree with what every one else ha said, go see you GP, get a proper "one to one" assessment.

Dont ever rely on internet tests, they can be wrong.

Just cos you may have a disorder is not a death sentence, and every disoder in the PD range has a variation on how much that disorder you have, nobody scores 0% accross the board, every body hass some form of disoder, it is how that affects your life and the way you treat others.

Just cos you have a disorder does not mean you cannot cope or learn to deal with it, and learn other behavyours, some of us are that bad that treament is realy problematic, but we are few, and it took a fair amount of professional time to determine that not just one or two sessions.

Just dont write yourself off yet .... find out for sure first, that way you make a properly informed descition.

Hope this helps.......... boB ........ :cool:
 
Wendy

Wendy

Well-known member
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
267
Location
South/East
Hi there, honestley commiting suicide is not the way forward. If you love you're wife and kids then seeking help is the way forward see your gp or you could talk to someone like mind
good luck take care
wendy x:grouphug:
 
Y

Yute

Member
Joined
Feb 15, 2010
Messages
7
I just wanted to let you know I'm at the other end of the spectrum. I care too much. You may not think this much of a problem but believe me, my husband would disagree. He's great and puts up with me wonderfully, but I'm no good for him. I'm debilitated with emotional stress. There's a balance somewhere for both of us. If you want help that means the world. Don't give up. I wish we could trade a few 'symptoms'. :confused:
 
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