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Can someone help me please, I am so scared I feel sick I don't know what to do!

A

asdf1

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Feb 19, 2015
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4
Can someone help me please, I am so scared I feel sick I don't know what to do!

Long story short really, was on the bus yesterday, mother asked woman sitting in priority seat near wheelchair/pram area, if she could switch seats with her, so she could sit next to my two year old sibling (in pushchair). Woman becomes very rude, saying how my sibling is a big child, doesn't need to be in a pushchair, go and sit over there etc. My mum explained child has special needs and needs the pushchair, woman carries on about how my mum needs to learn to raise her properly, and control her, and that she works with children with special needs and they have no problem on transport etc.

This woman was being rude and aggressive to my mum, and I just went mad, I couldn't help it. I shouted at her that she better shut her mouth about my sister and mum, and to not talk rubbish about a child with special needs, or any child at all. I called her a lot of things I shouldn't have, because she kept carrying on, gesturing at my mum, and shouting 'tell her to sit there then'. I literally lost it, it was like a fight or flight response type thing, my heart was racing and I just saw red.

I think everything that has been going on at the moment just all built up into one ball. I could have handled it much better. I ended up telling her to shut her mouth, or I'd put her in her place, and smash her face in or something along those lines. I don't know where it came from, i would never have hit anyone! I regret it so badly, I've never been even rude to a person outside, let alone act like this. She was mocking my baby sister and being aggressive to my mum. She was going on about my mum lying about my baby sister having additional needs etc. saying 'how can i tell you are telling the truth' sort of laughing at the same time. This enraged me, how she was mocking.

But now I'm scared this woman will have called the police or something! I think I did threaten her (but I am sure I didn't threaten HER directly, but I told my mum I should have smashed her face in or something, in this fit of rage which I have never, ever done before). Either way it was wrong and I know this. I shouldn't have reacted like that. But now I'm so scared that the police are going to come and arrest me for threatening/intimidating because I know it is illegal now to threaten someone with physical harm even if you couldn't actually hurt them!! It just slipped out in the moment! She got of the bus at the next stop so i don't know what she did! I'm really scared I couldn't sleep all night. I don't know what to do.

Please someone tell me I am overreacting. I am being referred for CBT for issues with ocd/cleaning obsessions, which have actually ruined my life lately for so many reasons. I am scared the police are going to come to my house, take all my stuff, such as my computers and phone and other personal belongings and arrest me!! I have never gotten into trouble, I'm so scared can someone please advise me?
Thank you.
 
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A

asdf1

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Feb 19, 2015
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Also to add, I'm scared that this woman is going to be on the same bus tomorrow (as they use the same bus at the same time) and is going to attack my mum and sister or something. Or she is going to tell someone she knows, who will find and hurt my family or something. I am so scared I feel physically sick.
 
Kerome

Kerome

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Don't worry, you are over reacting. A bit of a set to is not so unusual. If this woman is on the bus and you speak to her, you could offer an apology and explain that it's unusual for you to react like that. Even if she is rude, just be courteous and otherwise ignore her.

Big hugs for being such an emotional person :hug:
 
A

asdf1

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Feb 19, 2015
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Thank you both. I think I am obsessing about it. I'm not so much scared that she know where I live etc. But that she could go to the police, say 'this person threatened me, on this bus, and at this time, near this bus stop etc. Then they may look at cctv and stuff, and then find me! I mean, if the police were to find me somehow (i sound like a villain here oh my god!) there would be no reason for them to search my house or anything would there? It's not like I have evidence on my computer searching violent ways to scare people? Or that I have phoned this woman and threatened her further (because I don't even know who on earth she is!!) Not that there's anything worth finding haha, but the fact that all the neighbors will see and stuff. Its like I cant tell when I am completely overreacting and try to rationalize but its not working.

The bus driver did turn around once, but didn't say anything. This whole thing lasted like 5 minutes max, and there weren't many people on the bus! Will have a look at the OCD forum, thanks so much. x
 
SarahD

SarahD

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I am not violent or aggressive and a lot older than you. Looking back over my life I can remember a few occasions when I have overreacted. In some way or other it probably happens to everyone. Some people cross the line and go too far.

I once did something very stupid (won't say what cos still embarrassed) not similar though, except somebody in authority saw it. I stayed in bed for days in terrible anxiety waiting for someone to come and do something, arrest me even. Which was also stupid, it wasn't something you would get arrested for.

Probably nothing will happen. If it does, explain you have certain problems and were very stressed and overreacted. Apologise. That will be that.

Please don't waste time agonising about it.
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I did it once in my local spar, saw red and threatened them with violencevand told them they were lucky my son was with me and I hate going in there now as ive got blue hair so I kinda stand out
You have my sympathies, she sounded a right smarmy twat that needed putting in her place though
 
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