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Can somebody understand?

W

Wonder010101

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Mar 11, 2015
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Hi everyone,

Okay, I'm a young girl in my final year of university and last December, I was diagnosed with depression. This past academic year has been hell for me. I've always been a sufferer of anxiety but this is something new to me. I feel so crap a lot of the time and most of my happiness is fake. I live with three of my best friends and they're all amazing. They've been through this with me for the past year and are still there for me. Last week, they pushed me to tell my parents and I did and home seems like the only place that is comfortable for me now. I feel like I can be myself at home without worrying about what the other person is thinking.

My issues are mainly being scared of social situations and things with my three flatmates have also gone worse because they feel awkward. I feel like they're treading on eggshells around me, but that's far from how I want to make them feel. One of my flatmates in particular always seems on edge around me and I get the feeling like she doesn't want to speak to me and doesn't want to anywhere near me. I understand it's third year and stress is looming above but I've never felt such distance from them. I feel like I'm losing things. I'm always paranoid and always worried and I can never focus on my work because of these issues. I've tried CBT but with no help and I've been on propranolol to ease my anxiety down. I've spoken to several people and tried meditating and praying. I don't know how many times I've been through 1-2 hour advice sessions with people but nothing seems to help. I feel like cutting off from people but then I know that it won't help. This is getting really out of hand for me. I feel lost.

Thank you x
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

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Sorry you are struggling and haven't found what you've been offered helpful so far. I can't say much in the way of advice but hope some other people will be along soon. This is a friendly place, hope you'll enjoy posting here.

I have social anxiety too, can relate to feeling scared of social situations. Must be hard as you are living with other people x
 
W

Wonder010101

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Mar 11, 2015
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Sorry you are struggling and haven't found what you've been offered helpful so far. I can't say much in the way of advice but hope some other people will be along soon. This is a friendly place, hope you'll enjoy posting here.

I have social anxiety too, can relate to feeling scared of social situations. Must be hard as you are living with other people x
I've never been like this before because I was such a social person. It's just manifested this year and I don't know what to do about it besides cry. Everything I try just fails and I cry even harder.
Thank you so much for understanding :) x
 
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Helena1

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how long was the cbt you got?
 
Unique1

Unique1

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Welcome to the forum

Welcome.

I have totally different circumstances to you and I'm older but very very similar feelings. I suffer with social anxiety and was living with a family member, and I felt just like you.

In respect of your friends, I guess they may not be familiar with the things you are facing right now and are not sure what to say/do. I understand that can then appear like they are treading on egg shells maybe?
If you feel up to it and the circumstances feel right maybe a coffee and a chat to one or all of them? Not easy I know as I did sometimes feel I didn't want to talk about it. I guess it depends how comfortable you are with the friend /friends and if you feel it may help.

This forum is a great place to come and chat about concerns, it's helped me a lot.
 
katya

katya

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This is surprisingly common in university. Think about how much upheaval and stress you've had to go through in just the last three years alone. I bet you're a completely different person to when you started university.

Please try not to worry about alienating your flatmate; maybe s/he is feeling anxious socially too. Do you get out enough? I remember having to really "big" myself up to go to the shop because of social anxiety in university; I'd often only get there after dark. It was a really sad time. It was because I fell into a pattern of chaos in terms of routine though.

Be kind to yourself. Maybe talk to your flatmate about how you're feeling to clear the air. You've done the right thing by going home; just do whatever you need to to ensure you can do your work without feeling like shit all the time - your parents will love having you back - and just remember that what you're going through is not forever. :)

I hope you get some relief for your long-term anxiety also; I imagine that can cause bouts of depression, or be a factor in exacerbating it.
 
Toasted Crumpet

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I had 3 sessions for it and it stopped two weeks ago x
3 sessions is that all? :eek:

Hang on in there, 3 sessions is nothing really, maybe you need something that is a bit more intensive and supportive. If you've not been this way before, with the anxiety in social situations, it will hopefully go away once you are feeling better.
 
Kerome

Kerome

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Dunno, even the basic course of CBT that I had for social anxiety was 8 hours by phone, 1-on-1.
 
W

Wonder010101

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Joined
Mar 11, 2015
Messages
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Welcome.

I have totally different circumstances to you and I'm older but very very similar feelings. I suffer with social anxiety and was living with a family member, and I felt just like you.

In respect of your friends, I guess they may not be familiar with the things you are facing right now and are not sure what to say/do. I understand that can then appear like they are treading on egg shells maybe?
If you feel up to it and the circumstances feel right maybe a coffee and a chat to one or all of them? Not easy I know as I did sometimes feel I didn't want to talk about it. I guess it depends how comfortable you are with the friend /friends and if you feel it may help.

This forum is a great place to come and chat about concerns, it's helped me a lot.
Thank you for your support, it definitely means a lot :) x
I feel like I've spoken to them so much and I keep coming around to the same conversation. They're definitely not at fault in this at all, they're extremely concerned about this and one of my flatmates constantly checks up on me. It's me that suffers from this issue and I feel like I don't want to bring them down with me if I'm going down too. Sometimes I feel like joining them, but then fear of making things awkward stops me and leaves me isolated. I'm hoping this goes down soon.

Thank you so much :)
 
W

Wonder010101

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 11, 2015
Messages
67
This is surprisingly common in university. Think about how much upheaval and stress you've had to go through in just the last three years alone. I bet you're a completely different person to when you started university.

Please try not to worry about alienating your flatmate; maybe s/he is feeling anxious socially too. Do you get out enough? I remember having to really "big" myself up to go to the shop because of social anxiety in university; I'd often only get there after dark. It was a really sad time. It was because I fell into a pattern of chaos in terms of routine though.

Be kind to yourself. Maybe talk to your flatmate about how you're feeling to clear the air. You've done the right thing by going home; just do whatever you need to to ensure you can do your work without feeling like shit all the time - your parents will love having you back - and just remember that what you're going through is not forever. :)

I hope you get some relief for your long-term anxiety also; I imagine that can cause bouts of depression, or be a factor in exacerbating it.
Thank you so much for this :)
I am a much different person to before, but this has got to be my worst stage of it. I've never felt so isolated and lonely and the only reason for it is the way I think and somehow overthink things. I feel like my flatmate already has so much stress and I'm just adding to it, but then she has all the right to just let go, I don't want to force her to stand behind me and support me if she doesn't want to.

I've discovered that the reason I constantly feel like this is because I don't give myself enough love. I'm never kind to myself and constantly think I've done something wrong when in actual facts I haven't. I don't know how to 'cut myself some slack' and just accept the person I am. I don't know how to do it although it's easy to say.

Thank you :) x
 
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