- Jan 28, 2015
Hi I'm new here, so sorry if I ramble but I feel desperate. A bit of background: I'm a 31 year old woman with two gorgeous children, I was married now separated and I have been with my current partner for 3 years. My childhood wasn't great, real dad left before I was born, adoptive dad was ok with me but felt he didn't like me very much, I always felt inferior to my sister (my mum and adoptive dads child) I was always told I was horrible and selfish and a liar, my adoptive dad lashed out at me a few times, throwing chairs at me and making me harm myself while he was holding my hands, my mum did nothing. Moving on...Years later I'm married, he's violent and cheats, so I depended on my parents a lot for financial and emotional support which they did to a degree but then they got angry with me, i bring it on myself,im not easy to live with etc.. Yesterday my partner said he was leaving me as i procrastinate I forget important things and because of this he doesn't trust me, my mum also told me yesterday that she is done with me as I forgot to get my sister a birthday present, which I admit is not a nice thing to do. I don't know why I always tell half truths, I guess I get panicky that even over something silly like the price of the food shop i'll say it's cheaper than it was as I'm scared my partner will be mad at me. But that kind of behaviour has cost me my family and partner who I love so much. And I feel lost...why do I act this way, how do I change it when I don't even realise I do it, I've made my partner lose faith in me as he never believes a word I say and I continually let people down. I'm on sertraline and have been for years, I know where I'm going wrong but how do I stop? So sorry for how long this is ..
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