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Can People With Personality Disorders Still Be Good Parents

G

GuiltyandConfused

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Nov 10, 2020
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Macau
I posted here a few days ago about my issues and would just like to get some feedback from everyone.
I am currently in therapy which began after my husband found out that I had been flirting via social media with a former male colleague and posting lewd comments on facebook, and since finding this out he has also opened the floodgates to the numerous marital and behavioral issues he has had with me for the past 16 years.One of these issues is me being able to stomach locking myself in my room for hours binge watching shows and whatnot while the kids are left with the carer outside. He believes that I have been neglectful of our kids and I believe he sees me as being an unfit parent due to my emotional instability and my tendency to flirt around with men on social media. While I won’t deny that what I have done is wrong and completely inappropriate behavior, I do still believe that I can change and actually be a better and more attentive and loving mother, especially now that I am getting the professional help that I need to sort my emotions out. The thing is, a lot of harsh names have been said to me in most of our “discussions” (bitch, pig, no respect for your husband, immoral, etc) which leads to the dwindling of my already very low self esteem. I am now thinking that perhaps leaving my kids will be better for their welfare and reputation (nobody wants their kids being labeled as daughters/sons of a whore, right?), but I can’t imagine ever doing this as I know that I have the ability to be better, especially now that I am taking steps to address my issues. People like me can still be good parents, right? We can still change for the better provided that we do the work? Do parents’ past mistakes really shape the entire future of their kids, even with improvements done?
 
F

Fairy Lucretia

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Apr 9, 2011
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Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
i think they can be yes x people with personality disorders can still be good people capable of bringing up children ,they might need a bit more support from family friends or services but there is no reason in my opinion why people with PD cannot be good parents x
also welcome x Lu x
 
Zackthemaniac

Zackthemaniac

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
1,528
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North Carolina
Of course you have the ability to change and be a good wife and mother. But the only way to do it is through action and not words. If you show you're truly trying to change, people will see it and be supportive.
 
M

MYTIMEHASCOME

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 12, 2011
Messages
757
Okay so first of all you’re not some terrible person who is beyond help. You’re a person with problems who needs help which you can get and you can improve yourself - everyone can! Even people who are meant to be mentally well.

You definitely shouldn’t have flirted and made lewd comments on Facebook.

he definitely shouldn’t have said those horrible things to you.

you can definitely get help! And improve if you want :) don’t beat yourself up! All humans make mistakes even the ones who seem to have it altogether - here’s a big hug for you 🤗
 
Dark_Phoenix74

Dark_Phoenix74

Member
Joined
May 17, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Ireland
I would consider myself a good parent to my son. He's 7 years old now and I'll admit it took a few years before I bonded with him. Luckily he also has a great father who's been there since day 1 & his extended family are also a fantastic support.

From what I've read, some of the symptoms of personality disorders decline with age. I was diagnosed at age 18 & received the relevant treatment as an inpatient, and being older now I do notice I'm not as destructive compared to when I was younger.

Everybody's different, but for me I think having already gone through treatment and having a network of supportive, non-toxic people around me, has substantially contributed to the well-being of my child.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

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Messages
3,941
Location
Glasgow
I posted here a few days ago about my issues and would just like to get some feedback from everyone.
I am currently in therapy which began after my husband found out that I had been flirting via social media with a former male colleague and posting lewd comments on facebook, and since finding this out he has also opened the floodgates to the numerous marital and behavioral issues he has had with me for the past 16 years.One of these issues is me being able to stomach locking myself in my room for hours binge watching shows and whatnot while the kids are left with the carer outside. He believes that I have been neglectful of our kids and I believe he sees me as being an unfit parent due to my emotional instability and my tendency to flirt around with men on social media. While I won’t deny that what I have done is wrong and completely inappropriate behavior, I do still believe that I can change and actually be a better and more attentive and loving mother, especially now that I am getting the professional help that I need to sort my emotions out. The thing is, a lot of harsh names have been said to me in most of our “discussions” (bitch, pig, no respect for your husband, immoral, etc) which leads to the dwindling of my already very low self esteem. I am now thinking that perhaps leaving my kids will be better for their welfare and reputation (nobody wants their kids being labeled as daughters/sons of a whore, right?), but I can’t imagine ever doing this as I know that I have the ability to be better, especially now that I am taking steps to address my issues. People like me can still be good parents, right? We can still change for the better provided that we do the work? Do parents’ past mistakes really shape the entire future of their kids, even with improvements done?
My ex has 5 kids, she was abused and has bpd and she is an amazing fierce mother. Her kids are all adults now and doing well. Kids need there parents 👍
 
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