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Can anyone tell me whats up with me???

M

madmonkeyman

New member
Joined
Mar 24, 2009
Messages
1
Hi people, I have been suffering from mental health problems for around the last 6 years, although the more I look at it, the more my whole life seems to have been a bit f**ked up.
It all started when I would get panic attacks following a marriage break-up. My GP put me on around five differant meds, before finally settling on Venlafaxine. I have now been on this for around 5 yrs, at various doses, and am now on a hideous 150mg a day.
The thing is, I have never ever been diagnosed with anything. I have spoken to GP's and councellors, and all I know is that on sick notes its either 'acute anxiety,' or 'depression.'
I have recently pushed my GP for some answers, as i don't like taking the venlafaxine, but as per usual, I still am no nearer.
The facts about my problems are as follows;
I am a loner, even keeping away from family.
I have an addictive nature, and have had drink and drugs issues.
I am great at so:mad:rting other peoples problems out, but just gloss over mine.
If I find myself in an uncomfortable or stressful situations, I just have to get out of there, any way possible, and in the past have hurt myself quite badly to make it look like I had had an accident, just to get home.
I am 32, and to date have had 57 jobs, as I just 'run away.'
I once had an argument over the phone with my mum, and then went on to slice my arm up, requiring loads of stitches.

If anyone out there has had similiar experiences, let me know, cos I want to know what it is thats wrong with me, cos right now, I'm just 'the freak black sheep' of my family.

Help!!!
 
escape

escape

Active member
Joined
Nov 29, 2008
Messages
32
Location
Scotland
hi there and welcome to the forum.

let me start by saying that there are lots of people here in the same boat as you (me included) and hopefully people here will be able to help you. i know i feel better hearing from people on here and reading what they say to others as well.

If your doctor is anything like mine, mental health can be a bit of a gray area i know for a fact my doctor would much rather be treating someone with an STI or the flu than touch on the subject of mental health but i think you you talk about your problems here you will soon start to feel much better. i know im not the most seasoned member but i know its helped me alot.

as for being the "black sheep of the family" you shouldnt judge yourself on those around you. everyone is different and perhaps they have problem of a different nature, Have you tried talking about your problems with your family?


welcome and happy posting,
escape
 
nickh

nickh

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2008
Messages
1,428
Location
Birmingham UK
Hi mmm,

Seconding what escape has said I think much of what you describe will be familiar to many here (and of course countless people who are not here!) but at the same time everyone's experience and road are unique.

I certainly share an addictive nature and an inability to deal with any sort of confrontation - the latter is one of my most certain 'triggers' of a bout of depression. Anyway the first thing is that you are very definitely not alone.

As to the steps you can take it sounds to me as though the best first step would be to get some decent 'talking therapy'. It does not sound as if the counsellors you have seen have been much use. Now getting decent talking therapy is a lot easier said than done - there are lots of different kinds ( see
http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/showthread.php?t=3662 ) and it is hard to know what will be right for you until you try, then you have to find a good therapist (which means one who suits you) and finally you have to get access in the first place! Nevertheless the road is worth taking because in the long-run it can explain, if not 'cure', your issues like nothing else.

The more immediate thing to do of course is to read about how people here deal with things, similar experiences etc. and by posting yourself get some more insight.

Finally and most importantly - as can never be said enough - there is nothing 'wrong with you' in the sense of some moral or character failing. You have an illness which has awful effects; we can't say exactly what it is as we are not professionals, but it is no more the result of some moral weakness than a bout of flu.

Nick.
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
I agree with both of the reply posts that you have.

The thing is also that divorce in it self is a very high streeful situation to have experienced in itself. It isnt just like splitting up with someone you have to have solictors involved n everything n if you got married in the church you have that issue to deal with aswell so this may of triggered off the depression that might of been in the background n certainly if the doctors got you on such a high dose of meds he/she must think that you need them.

My sick notes in the beginning used to say anxiety diisorder, I used to think whot the F**k does that mean it seemed a cop out to me because they couldnt think of anything else to say anny way it can be a long road to getting a diagnosis..

I seen a psycoligist for two years in 95/96 and to be quite honest I think he guided the psych's diagnosis of myself he could see like no body else that in my life if you peeled off the layers the depression was always still there, he could also see that my life was very traumatic.

It did help me loads at the time though it used to be such a heavy load n my head used to hurt after an intense sesssion.

Though in the end I have to say nothings ever helped me like the ad's.

Though for me I tried so many other routes in my life before med's it does kind to seem to me that the doctors seem to put people on med's far to soon/early in their tretment and up the doses all to often..( i think it might have something to do with the nice guide lines)I dont know.I have honestly refused has many med's has i have taken from gps

So really its along journey though you have quite a lot of factors such has that many jobs in itself I think speaks volumes though like you have heard its not for any of us to diagnosis on here I neevr had any normal kind of issues I just had depression so It might of been difficult for others to see.

I wish you well and keep posting JD
 
1

112inky

Member
Joined
Mar 24, 2009
Messages
20
Hi people, I have been suffering from mental health problems for around the last 6 years, although the more I look at it, the more my whole life seems to have been a bit f**ked up.
It all started when I would get panic attacks following a marriage break-up. My GP put me on around five differant meds, before finally settling on Venlafaxine. I have now been on this for around 5 yrs, at various doses, and am now on a hideous 150mg a day.
The thing is, I have never ever been diagnosed with anything. I have spoken to GP's and councellors, and all I know is that on sick notes its either 'acute anxiety,' or 'depression.'
I have recently pushed my GP for some answers, as i don't like taking the venlafaxine, but as per usual, I still am no nearer.
The facts about my problems are as follows;
I am a loner, even keeping away from family.
I have an addictive nature, and have had drink and drugs issues.
I am great at so:mad:rting other peoples problems out, but just gloss over mine.
If I find myself in an uncomfortable or stressful situations, I just have to get out of there, any way possible, and in the past have hurt myself quite badly to make it look like I had had an accident, just to get home.
I am 32, and to date have had 57 jobs, as I just 'run away.'
I once had an argument over the phone with my mum, and then went on to slice my arm up, requiring loads of stitches.

If anyone out there has had similiar experiences, let me know, cos I want to know what it is thats wrong with me, cos right now, I'm just 'the freak black sheep' of my family.

Help!!!
Hi.. welcome to the forum... Most of them here are sailing in the same boat as you!!! including me... but after joining this forum and speaking out some problems i feel i have someone to share the feelings... so don worry.. all will be well....
 
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