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can anyone relate

A

Agara

Member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
10
Location
Tel Aviv
since this has been happening to me i cannot talk to anyone, tell anyone. i am in mania and disoriented...whenever i interact with someone this fake facade just acts, responds, talks--it actually doesn't sound manic most of the times, sounds pretty smart and coherent, sometimes really unpleasant and arrogant, weird, but always always has fooled anyone interacting with it that it is me, and that i am not manic, and that i am going through something tough, but not that i am incoherent, manic and out of control which is the truth. in the beginning i needed to tell someone because i needed help getting to safety, now after 12 years i am in a physically safe place. now i need to talk to someone because i cant seam to come out of it and someone else knowing, and acting accordingly i think would be the thing that changes that. but i can't...im trying to come out of it to some degree as much as i can so i can get to the point where i can talk to someone..someone who will be valildating to me, have the right things to say, understand what i am talking about...but to get to that place----i dont know how, i have no idea...im so alone and isolated for so long...i dont know how..i just keep going and try to hold on...
 
Bipolarbear808

Bipolarbear808

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 15, 2020
Messages
225
Location
USA
I can relate to not having someone that understands what I am going through. Then I started to see a Therapist and Psychiatrist, they were able to help me and put me in touch with other people like me in my community. Is there anyway that you can get professional help where you are? Dealing with any disorder without support is very hard, I hope your able to find some kind of support in your area!
 
A

Agara

Member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
10
Location
Tel Aviv
no. been to all kinds. i was traumatised by the fact that they didnt get that i am manic, over and over, it turned my world upside down, they talk to me and i talk back, they ask the wrong questions, i am too mixed up and confused to be able to tell them, even though i try as hard as i can. they have always missed it.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
6,513
Location
Nashua NH
since this has been happening to me i cannot talk to anyone, tell anyone. i am in mania and disoriented...whenever i interact with someone this fake facade just acts, responds, talks--it actually doesn't sound manic most of the times, sounds pretty smart and coherent, sometimes really unpleasant and arrogant, weird, but always always has fooled anyone interacting with it that it is me, and that i am not manic, and that i am going through something tough, but not that i am incoherent, manic and out of control which is the truth. in the beginning i needed to tell someone because i needed help getting to safety, now after 12 years i am in a physically safe place. now i need to talk to someone because i cant seam to come out of it and someone else knowing, and acting accordingly i think would be the thing that changes that. but i can't...im trying to come out of it to some degree as much as i can so i can get to the point where i can talk to someone..someone who will be valildating to me, have the right things to say, understand what i am talking about...but to get to that place----i dont know how, i have no idea...im so alone and isolated for so long...i dont know how..i just keep going and try to hold on...
What symptoms of mania do you have?
 
h_put2021

h_put2021

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 25, 2020
Messages
61
Location
Atlanta, GA
since this has been happening to me i cannot talk to anyone, tell anyone. i am in mania and disoriented...whenever i interact with someone this fake facade just acts, responds, talks--it actually doesn't sound manic most of the times, sounds pretty smart and coherent, sometimes really unpleasant and arrogant, weird, but always always has fooled anyone interacting with it that it is me, and that i am not manic, and that i am going through something tough, but not that i am incoherent, manic and out of control which is the truth. in the beginning i needed to tell someone because i needed help getting to safety, now after 12 years i am in a physically safe place. now i need to talk to someone because i cant seam to come out of it and someone else knowing, and acting accordingly i think would be the thing that changes that. but i can't...im trying to come out of it to some degree as much as i can so i can get to the point where i can talk to someone..someone who will be valildating to me, have the right things to say, understand what i am talking about...but to get to that place----i dont know how, i have no idea...im so alone and isolated for so long...i dont know how..i just keep going and try to hold on...
I definitely can relate and just went through a bad manic episode that resulted in a week and a half long hospitalization. Just make sure you are safe and have someone or a few people who can check in on you while you are in this state. Trust me. And also trust that you will be okay. You will make it through. And your feelings are valid.
 
A

Agara

Member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
10
Location
Tel Aviv
What symptoms of mania do you have?
i cant think straight, i talk a lot, i feel out of control like i cant make decisions, i call it mania---but its a kind of psychosis--it kind of has the feeling of mania because i talk and seam kind of happy and productive and people often say i seam strong, but i am terrified and out of control and i feel like i am watching myself and cant control myself, i can be arrogant and egocentric sometimes, i can seam high functioning at other times, i can say things that i would never normally say, its like i have a personality-a different one that isnt me, its just this empty facade and im not in control of it, i am really really irritable and can explode for no reason, my thinking is very very disorganized and i cant understand myself and i sometimes try to explain over and over because i think others cant understand either. i am never in a resting relaxed state always very agitated
 
A

Agara

Member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
10
Location
Tel Aviv
I definitely can relate and just went through a bad manic episode that resulted in a week and a half long hospitalization. Just make sure you are safe and have someone or a few people who can check in on you while you are in this state. Trust me. And also trust that you will be okay. You will make it through. And your feelings are valid.
im trying to find support in this forum and im also on a cptsd forum...there are a couple people i know but as this has been going on for so long i lost my friends. also the friends that i do have have no idea im in crisis...even if it seams to me that i told them, maybe they don't want to deal with it or don't really understand the gravity...my sister and her family are near by and though they don't know whats happening i can see them so im not alone all the time--they are the only ones i can rely on really...even though they dont ackwoledge whats happening which is very painful. so here is where i am looking for some support, thank you for your validation it means a lot to me
 
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