Can anyone relate to this feeling/realisation?

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dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
979
This may not make any coherent sense but if you can relate to any of this?

Not feeling happy, or feeling sad, just feeling like life is passing. Like you're waiting for time to pass.
You don't feel any motivation towards anything, and nothing really matters of what's going on. You realise it is all insignificant. Nothing really matters, you don't even really matter that much. You can just be another person in the world, without worrying too much.

Feeling like life could be a good thing, for the first time. It's not all that important. Maybe you blew things out of proportion in your own head. Maybe people can be alright. Maybe you can learn to get on with them. Maybe you could go outside and do things. Maybe you could, somehow, one day, even learn to like and value yourself.

But that feels totally strange to you.
You don't even know how to reach out for those good feelings, because you've never really had them.

That there can be good. That you don't have to be in pain, or freaking out, or dissociated, all the time.
You don't have to be anything you're not, you don't have to achieve anything. It's enough for you to just be.
You don't have to measure up to anyone's expectations. You're allowed to feel what you feel, and respond how you respond. Feeling like you're allowed to exist and you're allowed to be happy.

You can't really get involved with much, or throw yourself into doing anything because you don't want to get your hopes up. You don't want to make a decision that could be good for you, because you don't want to be disappointed. And what's more, you are apprehensive about losing your mind again.

You're so used to just years and years of confusion and pain. Pain and confusion is all you've ever felt, so how can you be moving out of that mindset? You're almost scared to move out of it, in a way, but you can't even feel the fear. Instead you're just blocked from emotion.
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
1,240
It honestly sounds like you are on the verge of a breakthrough.
 
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