Can’t get over the idea that people have it out for me.

T

Twitchy

New member
Joined
Aug 28, 2018
Messages
2
#1
For as long as I can remember I’ve always been shy and quiet(I’m sure most of you can relate) but after I graduated high school I became almost entirely reclusive and solitary. However, even when I do go out it’s only when I absolutely have to, and I do my very best to be “exsposed” for as short a time as possible. I find that things like: people laughing, coughing, sneezing loudly, or any sort of “invasive” noise feels as though it’s directed at me as an insult.
Sometimes I’m certain it is because I am awkward and my body language tells people that without me saying a word. But it clearly isn’t the case every time someone makes a sound. Still I cannot stop the bodily reactions or the racing thoughts or the endless rumination, I could say more but this is essentially what is stopping me from living any kind of life whatsoever and I’m at a breaking point and very close to lashing out at people because I just can’t take the anxiety or the fact that this bothers me nearly to the point of tears when I’m in public.
-any advice or camaraderie would be greatly appreciated, I look forward to your reply.
 
G

George10111

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2017
Messages
273
#3
Twitchy, man can I relate. I've always been that 'weird' 'annoying' guy. The only time I've had 'friends' is when somebody wants to use me for something or take advantage of me. I've only had 1-2 friends truly stick by my side through the years. I bet you get the feeling that everywhere you go, everyone's watching you right? Everybody's judging you and looking for you to do something wrong so they can further condemn you from their little precious clicks. I'm in the same exact boat. You're not alone. I feel sorry for people who go through the same thing I go through because it sucks and is painful, and really erodes one's self image over time. This forum is the only place in the whole world I feel I can really open up. Nobody in my family listens to me without scolding me. I've had to do everything in my power to hang in there, keep my head up and be happy but its hard when you feel like everyone out there is against you.
 
antimatterTek

antimatterTek

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 6, 2018
Messages
82
Location
USA
#4
When I had my first Psychotic break, i felt like I was in the Truman show where people were not who they said they were and everyone was just manipulating me and reading my thoughts and everything, everyone, every conversation was about me.

I would twist small clips I heard from people out in public and I was convinced it was in some way to make fun of me or hurt me.

I was hospitalized right away and after 10 days was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder.
 

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