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Came close to suicide, what next?

R

Roadfool

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 14, 2013
Messages
174
Location
Staffordshire
Just over a week ago I walked out of my job... I got in my car a kept driving with no intentions of returning. I was amazed how easy it was to get myself into such a dangerous state of mind mentally.

Eventually I was reported missing by the police, and once they found me I agreed that I'd return home the following day.

I've been put on medication by my GP and I start councelling next week. I've also been signed off work with stress.

So my question is... What's next? I don't feel any better deep inside, and the meds aren't doing anything yet. Do I return to work and face the music or are there other options? I'm not entirely sure I'm that stable to be honest. It was all too easy to get myself into a suicidal state of mind.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
41,462
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi ,I just wanted to say ,I am so sorry you felt so desperate
I hope the counselling and medication help x
we are here for you ,I truly hope you never feel so bad again
lots and lots of love
Lu xxxx
 
H

harsh-reality

Well-known member
Joined
May 31, 2016
Messages
280
Location
England
Its obviously a horrendous time for you and jobs can often be a massive issue if we unhappy there

I stayed in one job way too long - for the four years I was in this job and sadly the three years after I was in dreadful torment.

it helped me get a nice place which am still in today fortunately but actually whatever a job gives us materially - no job is worth our life

you do not mention any family around for you or friends - I hope you do have at least one person outside who on your side - it makes problems more bearable.

have you considered therapy - chatting about problems to an attentive stranger can heal - ie offloading but if not please keep talking on here - there are good people out there - people that care - workplaces are competitive and people can often show a not so nice side of characters sadly - been there got t - shirt etc

but some people do care - it does upset me when anyone feels alone with their troubles as its so tough to cope with - I can relate - I not in this position now - its a journey but please retain hope of happier days - it honestly can and does happen

I certainly wish you well
 
R

Roadfool

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 14, 2013
Messages
174
Location
Staffordshire
Thanks folks, appreciate it.

The trouble with talking/opening up/sharing my troubles is I really don't have much to say... I feel like my heart and mind has built up a defence mechanism and now I generally feel nothing. As said, I'm currently signed off work and spend 90% of my time alone in a room with the curtains closed. I do have friends and family but I purposely distance myself from them. I honestly can't see anyone or anything changing my grey outlook on life.
 
JustMek

JustMek

Member
Joined
Apr 8, 2019
Messages
17
Location
Spain
I can feel you. If you don't have much to say, wait for the medication to work (2-4 weeks).
 
H

harsh-reality

Well-known member
Joined
May 31, 2016
Messages
280
Location
England
I am aware currently you can never see the scenario being better for you but it can and will get better - I know this sounds like just words right now - but it will improve - sadly its all dependent on time etc

I never would have thought I would ever get better from the position I was in when days, months and years on end I felt absolutely awful and always tormented and my mind I could not verbalise my own thoughts and my own belief etc and also I very often forgot to explain certain aspects of my mental health because my brain was in very slow operational mode and consistently busy but its got better - I left the job that made me so unwell and lacking in any kinds of confidences

I do remember people explaining on here about going to "improving your confidences" courses but I was actually not confident enough to attend a "improving your self confidence" course.

I guess the only advice anyone can give is please stick with it - I know its a right pain in the butt right now but slowly life can ease on you - but yes medication and therapy both helped me and you will feel better in time if you stick with both of those but yes like all of us you would wish it to happen overnight but its always a gradual recovery to peace and calm but even by writing on here your worries you have begun your process of recoveries ...
 
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