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Bullying, Social Anxiety, and baby steps toward happiness

TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
466
Location
On The Train
So, I have been bullied my whole life. From my mother who hated me, my sister who took after my mother, some of the kids at school, workmates, schoolmates, everywhere I went I was bullied and assaulted even. I asked some friends why and they said I was too nice or quiet and that made me target. Some people said it was because I was quiet that they thought *I* thought I was too *good* to talk to them! All the while I was wondering why *they* didn't want to talk to me. I thought I was defective somehow. I didn't know what it was. I was always different. My situation was always the same. I would make friends with a group of women, one or two would be amazing good people and the others would gang up and hate me and gossip about me and end up shunning me. I didn't know what I was doing. This was a pattern and I was clearly causing it. It was my fault they attack me. I became withdrawn and a joke at work once was that I hadn't said anything to anyone all day, not even eye contact, like I was a "zombie. " Someone asked if I spoke English. UGH.


I avoided people. I wanted to be with people but to be without the pain and rejection was better. Sometimes a tender-hearted kind person would befriend me and I am forever grateful to them. I have had these issues now for over 30 years of my life. I hated my social anxiety and I felt this condition kept me from enjoying life. I was wasting my life and missing out on happy fun times I could be experiencing but I was CHOOSING not to be part of them.


I have been in therapy a few years now. A success for me is to go against my anxiety and go out and do something. When I am feeling ambitious I will try something new once a week. That’s really, going into a store I have never gone into or ordering at a restaurant by myself. It’s intense when you have social anxiety! I like to go into a grocery store every day. It’s more to be outside and out among people rather than needing to buy something everyday. That helps me.



What helps you?
 
arodi007

arodi007

Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Mauritius
Am sorry for what happen to you, that must very harsh for your mom to hate u, even your
sister ;( , but what really happen btw your close relative ?;x (if u want to tell ;v)

I know that feel when people say your quiet at work, they say u need communicate more etc..
There were lot of colleagues who didnt accept me but few colleagues who were very nice and like u my first friends were women.

For me it very recent, am home working, but i tried to go a birthday or camp with family only. And like going outside to buy stuff or bank help me too a bit.
Am not in any treatment but thk to and already discuss this with my mom ;v
But what really help me was the support of my mom and my brother in my most difficult moment of my life.
 
A

Annie794

Member
Joined
Nov 28, 2019
Messages
9
Location
United States
My guess is that you have been misunderstood by everyone. Possibly you have a resting b***h face, so when you're not smiling you look like a mean person. Whatever it is, people hating on you and bullying you is not your fault. You didn't do anything to deserve it. If you figure out what part of your behavior caused you to be perceived in a negative light, you can work to change that.

Thoughts like "it's all my fault" or "there's something wrong with me" make things worse for yourself. I have found out through my own healing that those thoughts were one of the root causes behind why I was afraid to be around people. I was scared that they would see what was wrong with me and reject me. Still am for the most part, but I am working on it. I have experimented with a bunch of things (alternative healing therapies) to heal away my social anxiety, and I have found the number one most effective thing was to feel my feelings without judging them. It turns out that we basically store the unacknowledged hurt or sad emotions from our past in our bodies, and they will stay in there until we allow ourselves to feel them. I have literally locked myself in my room to cry almost every day lately because after each release of emotions, I feel like a weight has been lifted off me. I know this healing method is effective because I can feel the changes deep inside. I used to be a complete doormat and a mute for 27+ years of my life, but just two days ago I spoke up for myself for the first time in my life. Literally the first time!

So long story short, emotions are painful to face, but if we don't face them they stay inside our bodies and make us unhappy and fearful. Step two will be to work on changing how you think and feel about yourself. If you criticize yourself all the time, you will keep on having new sad emotions that you have to face, so it's crucial to nip self-hating thoughts in the bud.

P.S, alternative medicine is awesome! Crystal healing, reiki, meditation, etc. Meditation costs $0, so I recommend it to everybody.
 
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