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Bullying, Name calling at work

G

GoogleMe

New member
Joined
Mar 16, 2019
Messages
1
Location
London
Hei! I recently started to work in a veggie restaurant as FOH staff (waiter, barista etc.). I work in an interesting team but there is a big problem. Since I started working, some guys in there are very, very toxic. They talk very nasty, they don't know what respect is and they talk to you in a tone that's it's ment to put you down. There are 3 guys, 2 in the kitchen and one in my team, in the front. I really don't understand what their problem is. I tried to talk nice to the guys in the back and told them I would like to be treated with certain degree of respect. Only one of the guys does it but the other one is still very disrespectful and toxic. But there is a bigger problem. There is a girl in my team. She's a little more childish and the guys talk with her like she's nobody. I'm serious. I feel so bad for her. I wanted to stand up for her today but I remembered that yesterday I just told to one of the guys to stop calling me names. I felt like he would think I have a problem with him if I wouldve told him again today that he is being disrespectful to the girl. Also the girl doesn't really seem to be bothered that much. She talks quite nasty too sometimes, but not as bad as the guys.
I don't know what to do. I know there is a solution for this. I don't feel competent enough to speak with them in an assertive way. I'm afraid I'm either gonna be weak and they will make fun of me or I will start becoming aggresive.
I really wish they would respect the girl more at least. I don't understand why they think it's funny to treat her like this. And I don't understand why she isn't bothered. What's wrong with this world? And it's not only that but because of their behaviour my mood changes, I feel bad and I don't work as good as I should.
I'm thinking to make a complain to the manager or to the big boss to tell them what's going on.
 
Z

Zeetea

New member
Joined
Mar 16, 2019
Messages
1
Location
California
Definitely tell the bosses.
That behavior is unacceptable.
Good for you for standing up for yourself and for your co-worker.
 
M

missme

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 28, 2019
Messages
287
Location
NZ
My experience as a parent and bullying, often if I tried to stand up for my children to the bullies it made it worse. But your situation is different. Good on you for standing up. I think it best to try not to react to them because they just want to get a reaction out of you.... People like that thrive on trying to feel like they are in control.......I would definitely tell your boss your concerns but do it in such a way, that he tells them in general, if he happens to hear them rather than saying that you said. This is only a suggestion...... I'm certain that you will know what the right thing is for you to do
 
Sweet Peach Tea

Sweet Peach Tea

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 28, 2019
Messages
260
Location
USA
Are they homosexuals?
 
Sweet Peach Tea

Sweet Peach Tea

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 28, 2019
Messages
260
Location
USA
Perhaps a serious question, but I must admit you made me giggle
I am just asking because some homosexual men are mean as fuck. They will pick a few ‘token girls’ to hang out with and then bully and try to run over the rest of the girls.

It is like a huge popularity contest and the ‘token girls’ they pick are groupies.

They know they cannot pull that shit with heterosexual men because they will get bitch slap.

(Not to offend homosexual men and women on this board. It is not my intention. I know not everyone is like this. I just work in a school where I see this all the time)

Usually heterosexual guys when they see a girl getting bullied they just stay quiet and ignore her. They do not want anything to do with the girl or get involved in the drama.
 
G

GoldenVision

Member
Joined
May 26, 2019
Messages
13
Location
UK
I am just asking because some homosexual men are mean as fuck. They will pick a few ‘token girls’ to hang out with and then bully and try to run over the rest of the girls.

It is like a huge popularity contest and the ‘token girls’ they pick are groupies.

They know they cannot pull that shit with heterosexual men because they will get bitch slap.

(Not to offend homosexual men and women on this board. It is not my intention. I know not everyone is like this. I just work in a school where I see this all the time)

Usually heterosexual guys when they see a girl getting bullied they just stay quiet and ignore her. They do not want anything to do with the girl or get involved in the drama.
It's a bit of a generalisation but in my experience there's some truth in it. I mean I've met some really sweet gay guys but a lot seem to have a chip on their shoulder and a very cutting sense of humour.
 
G

GoldenVision

Member
Joined
May 26, 2019
Messages
13
Location
UK
Again, to clarify I'm not meaning to offend. It's just an observation based on my own experience and I reconise I could just have been unlucky with the homosexual men I've come across. I certainly don't think all are like that.
 
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