Bullying has left my mental state in a mess!

T

Tommo1234

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Joined
Jan 20, 2016
Messages
13
#1
Firstly, apologies in advance but this will probably turn into waffle.


I'm 24 and suffer from anxiety issues that has stemmed into agoraphobia to the point where I will only go to work and home, and walk my dog down certain roads. That's it.
I have virtually no friends and no social life.

My guess is a large part of the cause of this is the fact that I'm a victim of bullying that lasted from the middle of middle school to the end of high school. In school I was the quiet one, very shy, found it difficult to make friends and interact with others. I've been like that my entire life...was born that way!
So whereas its normal in some people to be so shy over time they grow out of it and function normally in society but not me. I left school in 2010 went to college for 2 years where I again failed to make any social connections .

The anxiety I think started back in high school in my early teens. It was more worry general and 'what ifs' going through my head than the bullying which was mainly verbal and exclusion etc. which I guess was shrugged off and not thought of as a cause to anxiety.

Fast forward to 2018 and I'm still without a lot of confidence and a social circle.
The anxiety has worsened over the last couple of years (in part probably due to a lack of a social circle and romantic partner) into panic attacks and agoraphobia, though overall I have become a lot more confident in myself, I have a full time job and have now realized what's going on in my mind and have reached out to the NHS Time to Talk service to help who I'm waiting to hear back from.

In person I'm quite normal once I warm to you and it would be good to live a normal life!


I even signed up for a dating website and have been messaging a girl on there for a bit...god knows how I'm going to tell her about all my troubles, and that I have 0 experiences in life, like never even held hands with a girl. Anyone got any advice? :L


Are there any other victims of bullying on here that have managed to turn their lives round?
Would love to know!
 
Last edited:
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Jan 4, 2013
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England
#2
Hi Tommo,
Welcome to the forum
Sorry you've been bullied, have you tried any therapy?
Glad you've met someone special, just be honest with her that you have limited relationship experience.
Hopefully she'll understand.
Here to listen anytime.
Take care
 
G

goodgollymiss

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Joined
Apr 6, 2017
Messages
293
#3
Hugs. It's great that you have a job and that you are so innocent. I've noticed that the more experience with romance I have, the more coarse I become. But I'm sure that you would have a healthy romance
 
WhatsFriendship?

WhatsFriendship?

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Joined
Nov 12, 2016
Messages
33
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Tampa Florida
#4
Firstly, apologies in advance but this will probably turn into waffle.


I'm 24 and suffer from anxiety issues that has stemmed into agoraphobia to the point where I will only go to work and home, and walk my dog down certain roads. That's it.
I have virtually no friends and no social life.

My guess is a large part of the cause of this is the fact that I'm a victim of bullying that lasted from the middle of middle school to the end of high school. In school I was the quiet one, very shy, found it difficult to make friends and interact with others. I've been like that my entire life...was born that way!
So whereas its normal in some people to be so shy over time they grow out of it and function normally in society but not me. I left school in 2010 went to college for 2 years where I again failed to make any social connections .

The anxiety I think started back in high school in my early teens. It was more worry general and 'what ifs' going through my head than the bullying which was mainly verbal and exclusion etc. which I guess was shrugged off and not thought of as a cause to anxiety.

Fast forward to 2018 and I'm still without a lot of confidence and a social circle.
The anxiety has worsened over the last couple of years (in part probably due to a lack of a social circle and romantic partner) into panic attacks and agoraphobia, though overall I have become a lot more confident in myself, I have a full time job and have now realized what's going on in my mind and have reached out to the NHS Time to Talk service to help who I'm waiting to hear back from.

In person I'm quite normal once I warm to you and it would be good to live a normal life!


I even signed up for a dating website and have been messaging a girl on there for a bit...god knows how I'm going to tell her about all my troubles, and that I have 0 experiences in life, like never even held hands with a girl. Anyone got any advice? :L


Are there any other victims of bullying on here that have managed to turn their lives round?
Would love to know!




Tommo1234
I can't believe there is somebody exactly like me in the world. WOW! Do you live in florida someplace? I have the same issues you have and i blame it on bullies controlling my life to where i had to live in fear everyday. I couldn't learn anything in school. My classmates did not understand why i never spoke a word. My parents hated me and my father started sick rumors about me to our tennants, our customers,our relatives and his friends and other family members also in front of my mom, 2 sisters at the supper table every night. He use to put me down say really sick things to me and he got my mom believing everything. They both regreted i was born into the family. My mom had a miscarriage and i wished it was me. I had alot of car accidents and only 1 was my fault.I never died in any of the car accidents but i wished i could of. It has been a very lonely life for me. I tried in July and August 2014 4 times to kill myself and i couldn't even get that right because i am THE stupidist man in the world. I can't have a mate because i have Social Anxiety, Social Phobia and Agoraphobia. I have seen physcologists, physciatrists all of my life and have taken so much medication and nothing works.I stay in my house all the time unless i have to go to the doctors. I have been called names throughout my life and it still is going on even with adults. I am sick of being put down all the time. I see no way out of dodging problems. I am going to go. Good Luck.
 
Sorry state

Sorry state

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Joined
May 18, 2019
Messages
123
Location
Hampshire
#5
Firstly, apologies in advance but this will probably turn into waffle.


I'm 24 and suffer from anxiety issues that has stemmed into agoraphobia to the point where I will only go to work and home, and walk my dog down certain roads. That's it.
I have virtually no friends and no social life.

My guess is a large part of the cause of this is the fact that I'm a victim of bullying that lasted from the middle of middle school to the end of high school. In school I was the quiet one, very shy, found it difficult to make friends and interact with others. I've been like that my entire life...was born that way!
So whereas its normal in some people to be so shy over time they grow out of it and function normally in society but not me. I left school in 2010 went to college for 2 years where I again failed to make any social connections .

The anxiety I think started back in high school in my early teens. It was more worry general and 'what ifs' going through my head than the bullying which was mainly verbal and exclusion etc. which I guess was shrugged off and not thought of as a cause to anxiety.

Fast forward to 2018 and I'm still without a lot of confidence and a social circle.
The anxiety has worsened over the last couple of years (in part probably due to a lack of a social circle and romantic partner) into panic attacks and agoraphobia, though overall I have become a lot more confident in myself, I have a full time job and have now realized what's going on in my mind and have reached out to the NHS Time to Talk service to help who I'm waiting to hear back from.

In person I'm quite normal once I warm to you and it would be good to live a normal life!


I even signed up for a dating website and have been messaging a girl on there for a bit...god knows how I'm going to tell her about all my troubles, and that I have 0 experiences in life, like never even held hands with a girl. Anyone got any advice? :L


Are there any other victims of bullying on here that have managed to turn their lives round?
Would love to know!
Well done - It didn't turn into waffle. Now I'm going to waffle about my experiences - hope it's of some use or interest.
From the age of 9-10 I suffered from anxiety (although I didn't realise at the time - thought it was just me being me). I thought about suicide a lot and became withdrawn and friendless. This turned into a constant low mood with bouts of horrible depression. I never thought about why, I was just frustrated that this person with zero self esteem, sleeping problems and depression was who I seemed to be. I invented an easy going smiley mask to get me through each day. Over thirty exhausting years later my mask slipped and something triggered my mind to open memories and think deeply about me. It all came back to me and lots of things fell into place. I had been relentlessly and horribly bullied for over a year (locked in cupboards, urinated on, tied up and dragged down corridors and more). I self medicated for many years with drink and drugs but now seeking professional help.
I guess the point of me telling you this is that you are on the case much sooner than I was. Get help now and don't waste most of your life because of some nasty idiot at school.
Good luck.
 
K

khuang

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Jun 26, 2014
Messages
437
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Avenue Q in the US
#6
I was also bullied in high school and it severely affected my life even to this day. At the time my dad brushed it off as nothing and kept saying if I had only “acted” differently than I did then I wouldn’t be bullied. He later learned from the principal after he retired how bad it really was and the principal admitted that he could have done more to help me feel safer and to stop the bullying issue. I started to self harm just to escape and surprisingly I managed to do it for almost two years continuously without anyone figuring out that I was harming myself as I never hid my injuries and they looked like a skin condition that would not heal. I really want to confront my bullies so badly and make them feel as horrible as they really are and make them feel extreme guilt that is continuously eating away at their souls every moment they’re awake.
 
Sorry state

Sorry state

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Messages
123
Location
Hampshire
#7
I'm so frustrated and angry that my every aspect of my life has been negatively affected by the actions of one horrible little boy over thirty years ago. I also feel weak, pathetic and embarrassed to admit it. We only get one life and I haven't been able to live mine fully. So sad.
 
WhatsFriendship?

WhatsFriendship?

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Joined
Nov 12, 2016
Messages
33
Location
Tampa Florida
#8
Firstly, apologies in advance but this will probably turn into waffle.


I'm 24 and suffer from anxiety issues that has stemmed into agoraphobia to the point where I will only go to work and home, and walk my dog down certain roads. That's it.
I have virtually no friends and no social life.

My guess is a large part of the cause of this is the fact that I'm a victim of bullying that lasted from the middle of middle school to the end of high school. In school I was the quiet one, very shy, found it difficult to make friends and interact with others. I've been like that my entire life...was born that way!
So whereas its normal in some people to be so shy over time they grow out of it and function normally in society but not me. I left school in 2010 went to college for 2 years where I again failed to make any social connections .

The anxiety I think started back in high school in my early teens. It was more worry general and 'what ifs' going through my head than the bullying which was mainly verbal and exclusion etc. which I guess was shrugged off and not thought of as a cause to anxiety.

Fast forward to 2018 and I'm still without a lot of confidence and a social circle.
The anxiety has worsened over the last couple of years (in part probably due to a lack of a social circle and romantic partner) into panic attacks and agoraphobia, though overall I have become a lot more confident in myself, I have a full time job and have now realized what's going on in my mind and have reached out to the NHS Time to Talk service to help who I'm waiting to hear back from.

In person I'm quite normal once I warm to you and it would be good to live a normal life!


I even signed up for a dating website and have been messaging a girl on there for a bit...god knows how I'm going to tell her about all my troubles, and that I have 0 experiences in life, like never even held hands with a girl. Anyone got any advice? :L


Are there any other victims of bullying on here that have managed to turn their lives round?
Would love to know!
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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#9
I was bullied really bad in school, moving away from where the bullies were helped. I can never go back to that area, not even to visit, just too traumatic :hug:
 
WhatsFriendship?

WhatsFriendship?

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Messages
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#10
Tommo1234-:hi:
This is my second reply to you with no reaction/reply back but i didn't think I would get a reply back because nobody really cares about nobody on this site and nobody wants to become anyones friend.Nobody cares about what others have to say either (my opinion), this is the reason why I haven't been on this site for awhile.:low::low:I replied to your story because I can relate to everything you said except for the way you was bullied. I got a worse treatment by a bully throwing a hard baseball at my eye and I almost went blind, then three of my classmates rush at me like football players 2 held my shoulders back and pinned me to a brick wall then the third took his hand and put it in my face pounding my head into the brick wall harder and harder till I started bleeding then I fell to the ground and blood was everywhere. :mad:The 3rd time I was set up to get beaten up badly by three people from the same family after they where done beating me, kicking me in the head and chest and stomach I could not get up and walk for a very long time. You don't have it that bad. You can keep a job, you can talk to people, you can walk to different places with your dog. Try living my life. I can't keep a job ever, I have social anxiety disorder, social phobia. I stay in my house 24/7. I consider you a lucky one. You snapped out of your phobias, I can't. I am seeing a physcologist and a physchiatrist and taking meds. The meds help a little, the talking sessions don't. My physcologist dropped me as a patient because she said she could not help me since I don't want to move on with my life. Nobody can understand what a mental health person goes through unless they are experiencing the same thing. There was a time in my life where I tried even with my social anxiety and social phobia to make friends. I tried everything but nothing worked. I am so done trying because nobody wants to be friends with nobody. :cry2:I have gotten to the point where I am not going to search/look for friendship from anyone anymore if they want me to be friends with them they must have to come to me and try very hard to get my interest. If not then it is like my username Whats friendship? I have had aqaintances who turned out to be drug addicts, drunks, liars, thieves, this so called friend broke into an apartment stole a lot and I went to jail for something I never did. People are users, they take advantage of me, I had them all the so called buddy/pal whatever . All I want now is for people just to be nice to me if that is not such a problem.
 
K

khuang

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Messages
437
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Avenue Q in the US
#11
I still live in the same area as where I went to high school and got bullied. I’d like to move up to NY to be closer to my sister and her family but the cost of living there is so high that I might be able to survive. Plus I’ve lived in the same area my entire life that I’m so used to everything and I have a professional support system. I’d have to reapply for all my benefits if I move out of state which is a very long process.