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Bullying at Work - passive-aggressive colleague.

E

echelon

New member
Joined
Feb 11, 2010
Messages
2
Am I being bullied at work?

I'm a qualified nurse and I work in a private care home. I have been there for approximately 8 months. I am 40 years old.

I have forged good relationships with my colleagues and I'm communicative, cheerful and helpful towards people.

However, there is a problem......

One of the care assistants. She is 60 years old and has been there for quite a few years now. She's in reasonable health and has no problems doing her job.

She has caused problems for quite a few people over the years and has managed to reduce people to tears and a few have left the job because of her.

She ignores/blanks people, makes sarcastic remarks and puts people down, she makes a point of being very pleasant to others, but then blatantly ignores her target. She is offhand, unfriendly, creates an atmosphere and is intimidating some of the other care assistants to the point where they daren't be seen to be working with the target for fear of her response.

I wanted to bathe one of the bedbound residents a few days ago, but she was adamant that I wasn't going to do this. She made a few snide remarks then took over the bathroom to bathe a resident just when I needed it to bathe my resident.

When this person had left the bathroom, I went in to run the bath only to find that the bathchair over the bath had been broken! We examined it and one of the other carers came to the conclusion that it had been forced out of position. It had been fine prior to this woman using it and I think that she'd done it on purpose just to prevent me from bathing my resident. Paranoid? Perhaps, but I honestly think that she could be abusive/dangerous given the right situation.

I feel depressed about going into work and dread being on shift with her. I shouldn't feel like this. I feel like a stupid kid, not a grown woman. Several of my colleagues feel the way I do and some are angry about it, but don't feel that they can do anything because this woman has been there for so long. Some other colleagues make excuses for her, but I'm not impressed by any of the so called 'virtues' which they claim she has - as far as I'm concerned, she's vicious and nasty.

She has been tackled about her behaviour before and responds by claiming that she didn't know what she was doing, making a huge fuss of the complainant, then ignoring them again.

Does this sound like workplace bullying?
 
SimonB

SimonB

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2010
Messages
938
Location
United Kingdom
Bullying at work...

This is an awful situation to be in and I'm surprised your manager hasn't dealt with it earlier. It doesn't matter what the propblem is with the person the fact that she is being disruptive is a problem, not just for staff but for patients too!

I'm aware pf problems with staff who have been in roles for sometime, especially where there is little oppurtunity for progression, they can get a bit 'bossy' and try to compensate for their lack of professional training by ruling the roost. This needs to stop!

The nature of the work may be a problem, but it is interesting she said that she doesn't know she's doing it, perhaps she doesn't want to accept the consequences of bad behaviour??

Nurses whether qualified or not should be professional to both their patients, friends and family and co-workers.

Your manager needs to take a firm hand on this one, they need to support you in your role whilst supporting this disruptive person but not accepting their crap!

Not much you can do unless your manager acts, or you make a formal complaint.

Simon:(

Simon
 
S

skyblue

Guest
Wow - I know this post is old and I'm not sure if you're still around Echelon, but you have explained a colleague of mine to a T. I've been having major issues at work too and I've been bullied by a person since I've started the firm and this lady who you're talking about acts in exactly the same manor and does exactly the same things, only she doesn't make excuses saying that she doesn't know she is doing it, she knows full well and doesn't care what anybody thinks, because even the Area Manager is initimated by her and has had enough and is going to leave because of it! Yes,... I'm baffled by this too.

I don't know what it is and why they do it, I just don't understand it at all and I can't understand how they get away with it.

You wrote this message in February and so I really do hope that things have improved and that the bully has been sacked!
 
E

echelon

New member
Joined
Feb 11, 2010
Messages
2
Thank you for your reply. I am still here.

The woman in question has been given an ultimatum - either she adjusts her attitude or she will be sacked!

She has adjusted her attitude and is now manageable, if not overly friendly. She still makes the odd remark, but I'm able to handle it better because I know that management have finally woken up to the fact that she's upset so many decent employees.

I really hope that your situation improves. Have you spoken to management about it? Try not to take things personally, because the other person is the one with the problem, not you. I know how depressing it is, I really hope you can sort things out.
 
M

maudikie

Guest
In the circumstances you describe it is your duty to complain. As this has happened toothers as well as you, you could get together to make the complaint. Your duty is first to your patients, and it sounds as though she is also bullying them. It may be that she is not well erself, andperhaps the manager could suggest to her that she sees her own doctor. Or maybe the work is getting too hard. Have you or any other staff member talked to her about it, and found out if she has ny particular personal problems? But always remember - patients first.
 
Jimbob`

Jimbob`

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 14, 2010
Messages
655
I've been in one or two places with poor colleauges. Now if someone was behaving improperly, I would talk to the person directly and the relevant manager, with plans to work somewhere else if at all possible unless something changed.

It has a huge impact on your life if you are unhappy at work (apart from your feelings it can affect your relationship etc), the worst thing anyone can do is to just carry on.

Ah I just saw your second post, glad that has happened.
 
Jimbob`

Jimbob`

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 14, 2010
Messages
655
Wow - I know this post is old and I'm not sure if you're still around Echelon, but you have explained a colleague of mine to a T. I've been having major issues at work too and I've been bullied by a person since I've started the firm and this lady who you're talking about acts in exactly the same manor and does exactly the same things, only she doesn't make excuses saying that she doesn't know she is doing it, she knows full well and doesn't care what anybody thinks, because even the Area Manager is initimated by her and has had enough and is going to leave because of it! Yes,... I'm baffled by this too.

I don't know what it is and why they do it, I just don't understand it at all and I can't understand how they get away with it.

You wrote this message in February and so I really do hope that things have improved and that the bully has been sacked!
I don't think anyone knows but psychologists good in the area of personality and relationships could probably give some idea. If nothing can be done about this person as I said I would move job if possible, as being unhappy at work (or bullied anywhere) can have such a bad affect on us.
 
M

maximent

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 3, 2010
Messages
56
she has a right to be so. avoid her and be content in mind.
 
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