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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

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Lucy Day

Member
Joined
May 16, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Halifax
I have got BPD and PTSD. My anger is out of control, and when my ex pushes my buttons I am verbally abusive to him and then feel bad for doing it. I have had problems with my anger all my life but it is getting worse and I don't want to end up in prison. How can I calm myself down? My ex and me split up 16 years ago but he has been stalking me for ten years and been verbally abusive. And not just him, his friends also. I have been to the police, they warned him but still he carries on. I have been through the mental health system and it made me worse. I don't know what to do.
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
337
Location
Uk
I breathe in for 4 and out for 7 when I’m angry or out of control or panicking. Only thing that has really worked for me.
My brother had to sit on me to stop me from destroying things, it’s scary for you and other people when you get like that.

You need to try and distant yourself from your ex somehow. Are you at least safe? Xx
 
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Lucy Day

Member
Joined
May 16, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Halifax
Thank you for your reply. I will try to do that. I do really try to not react but he knows what buttons to press. I don't self medicate anymore so everything is raw. I live with my mum so that is good but at 2 in the morning when they come round I just can't cope. Thank you for listening. Xx
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

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Messages
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Uk
It’s hard when someone knows exactly what to say or do to make your emotions boil up inside of you!!

Surely your mum isn’t happy about them turning up at like 2am? Could you use her as the bad guy to keep away from them?

Anytime ❤
 
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Lucy Day

Member
Joined
May 16, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Halifax
It’s hard when someone knows exactly what to say or do to make your emotions boil up inside of you!!

Surely your mum isn’t happy about them turning up at like 2am? Could you use her as the bad guy to keep away from them?

Anytime ❤
 
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Lucy Day

Member
Joined
May 16, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Halifax
They don't wake my mum up and she has to work anyway so she can't be the bad guy and bless her she is too nice to shout at anyone. There is a field at the back of my house and they go in there when it's pitch black. I don't argue back out the window, I do it on Facebook. Thank you for listening. It is very good of you. And it is very much appreciated. ♥
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

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Jan 23, 2019
Messages
337
Location
Uk
They don't wake my mum up and she has to work anyway so she can't be the bad guy and bless her she is too nice to shout at anyone. There is a field at the back of my house and they go in there when it's pitch black. I don't argue back out the window, I do it on Facebook. Thank you for listening. It is very good of you. And it is very much appreciated. ♥
Sounds like you have a good support system in your mum?
I understand the anxiety into not wanting to block them etc but could you put your phone on night mode so at least you could have a decent nights rest?
No need to thank me, that’s what we are all here for. To get support & support others. The our not on your own ❤
 
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Lucy Day

Member
Joined
May 16, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Halifax
Yes my mum is a good support. I don't use my phone everyday. Well I mean I have to pay bills and stuff but really it is a big temptation when I am angry. I wish to be honest I didn't need technology but then I wouldn't talk to lovely people such as yourself. If you need someone to talk to I am a good listener aswell. Thank you. ♥
 
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Lucy Day

Member
Joined
May 16, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Halifax
I am tired now. Speak again sometime. Thanks again. Xx
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Jul 31, 2020
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5,184
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Canada
Is it often that you're being harassed or whatever at 2 AM ? That is a legit reason to be upset for sure. What are they doing, like what kind of thinking must they have to do that, and at such an hour?
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
8,309
Location
Nashua NH
I have got BPD and PTSD. My anger is out of control, and when my ex pushes my buttons I am verbally abusive to him and then feel bad for doing it. I have had problems with my anger all my life but it is getting worse and I don't want to end up in prison. How can I calm myself down? My ex and me split up 16 years ago but he has been stalking me for ten years and been verbally abusive. And not just him, his friends also. I have been to the police, they warned him but still he carries on. I have been through the mental health system and it made me worse. I don't know what to do.
How can your ex be verbally abusive to you unless you agree to be in contact with him. Enough time has passed that he should not be coming around anymore: cut him off!
 
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Lucy Day

Member
Joined
May 16, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Halifax
Is it often that you're being harassed or whatever at 2 AM ? That is a legit reason to be upset for sure. What are they doing, like what kind of thinking must they have to do that, and at such an hour?
 
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Lucy Day

Member
Joined
May 16, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Halifax
Hello they come round every month. I think they are on drugs and have attachment issues. I suppose we all have in a way but for some people it is magnified because of their bad parenting. But still it is no excuse for bad behaviour consistently.
 
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Lucy Day

Member
Joined
May 16, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Halifax
Hello he has had my phone number for 3 years and I have been on Facebook for 3 years but he won't message me. I have been messaging him until sept last year on and off because I loved him. But I don't do that now. I told him last April I wanted nothing more to do with him. I know I shouldn't have been in contact with him, for that reason it is hard to go to the police again at the moment. But in 2016 when he had been stalking me for 6 years and I didn't contact him once, the police warned him to stay away. I should not have ever been involved with him but I suppose I was just repeating history because my Dad was a monster. He is dead now. Because my Dad rejected me and he has rejected me in his own way the pain is immense. I am grieving and hurting real bad. But I can't cry because I am numb, so my defence mechanism is rage. Which I hope will dissipate the more I talk about it.
 
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