• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

bullies

midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
10,542
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
How can you move past nasty things bullies did in the past?

For example at school there was a gang of other kids who used to come after me, two boys was the ringleaders and i remember one time i wanted to be left alone and they got a huge group of others to help them chase me and corner me, which means i cannot deal with feeling trapped, plus i felt trapped with abusive ex which has cemented my fear of being trapped by anyone :sorry:

and one of the bullies came up to me after school one day and decided to hit and shove me and i remmeber he kicked me as well and i had done exactly nothing :cry:

i've been ostracised in my school years, had people promise to be there for me friends forever kinda thing then as soon as i come to bullies attention they disappeared so as not to have the bullies after them as well :sorry:
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
4,138
Location
Nowhere
n yes that sounds very traumatic and terrifying

and Midnight had done nothing to provoke it
I believe you .. .

how are you getting on with recovering from it
not that you can fully recover
but to feel like moving on from it or something ?

being kind to self because not your fault ?

nb there is that thing in pm again now
with notifications and nothing there
I will find the suggestions post
 
J

Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
1,744
Location
Florida
Midnight I am so sorry this happened to you. I have a teenager in High School now. He is trying to fit in-but not too successful. Wow bullying is bad news to me. If my son started to get bullied and if he told me I would react. What a real shame to get bullied at school and it happens all the time. Here in the USA kids that are bullied take guns to school and shoot people. As a parent I am not sure what I could do. I sure hope I do not have to go through bullying. If my son does go through this I will home school him. Bunch of animals in their adolescents and hormones raging makes this happen. In America our school systems do not respond to bullying. Meaning we will have yet more school shootings. Not sure what I can say to comfort you. Love ya Midnight and I am so against bullying. Jules
 
T

The GlassInstitute

Active member
Joined
Oct 10, 2019
Messages
44
Location
England
How can you move past nasty things bullies did in the past?

For example at school there was a gang of other kids who used to come after me, two boys was the ringleaders and i remember one time i wanted to be left alone and they got a huge group of others to help them chase me and corner me, which means i cannot deal with feeling trapped, plus i felt trapped with abusive ex which has cemented my fear of being trapped by anyone :sorry:

and one of the bullies came up to me after school one day and decided to hit and shove me and i remmeber he kicked me as well and i had done exactly nothing :cry:

i've been ostracised in my school years, had people promise to be there for me friends forever kinda thing then as soon as i come to bullies attention they disappeared so as not to have the bullies after them as well :sorry:
Firstly, I am deeply sorry that you had to experience bullying. I say 'bullying' because this is what we call assault and harassment when it occurs at school or work. (I could rant about that forever!)

I myself experienced bullying throughout my school career, and it's taken well over a decade to move past the majority of the harm this caused me. Having said that, I do still have issues. like yourself I don't like being physically crowded or cornered.

My perspective on moving past the trauma of school bullying is that it takes time and work. I can tell you that talking about it helps. It may not feel like it at first, but when we do this it allows us to process what has happened. I don't mean you necessarily have to relay the same experences over and over, because that can be traumatising. Instead, I recommend you express whatever memories or experences are bothering you at the time.

I have found that it helps to remember one thing in particular. Those indivduals who have hurt and bullied you have a lot on their conscience. Even if they don't realise it yet. They are responsible for causing immense hurt to others. Society does not look kindly on those that engage in such antisocial behaviour.
You on the other hand have none of this. Yes, you may have made mistakes, but you have never sought to deliberately hurt someone for your own twisted enjoyment.
You are a good person, those bullies are not.
 
E

EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
1,834
Location
USA
Hugs for midnight. You have to love and protect your inner child I think ❤
 
vanish

vanish

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Staff Member on Leave
Joined
Sep 29, 2014
Messages
2,370
Location
The Land of Oz
Hey Midnight, I’m very sorry you were bullied. You didn’t deserve that. I was bullied by my own friends at times in what was called the “gullible test”. This involved my friends being horrible towards me until I finally broke down in tears at which they would turn around and say “you’re so gullible!”
Not nice at all really!

Hugs :grouphug:
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
10,542
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
Hey Midnight, I’m very sorry you were bullied. You didn’t deserve that. I was bullied by my own friends at times in what was called the “gullible test”. This involved my friends being horrible towards me until I finally broke down in tears at which they would turn around and say “you’re so gullible!”
Not nice at all really!

Hugs :grouphug:
thats awful, vanish :mad::hug:
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
242
Location
South Korea
thats awful, vanish :mad::hug:
Well, I used to be bullied also. When I was in my first and second grade. These immature assholes beat the living daylights out of me, and stole everything from me. So I had to physically fight them all the time. Thankfully, I didn't get into trouble. :redface:
 
vanish

vanish

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Staff Member on Leave
Joined
Sep 29, 2014
Messages
2,370
Location
The Land of Oz
Well, I used to be bullied also. When I was in my first and second grade. These immature assholes beat the living daylights out of me, and stole everything from me. So I had to physically fight them all the time. Thankfully, I didn't get into trouble. :redface:
I’m really sorry that happened to you.
 
EyeCU2

EyeCU2

Member
Joined
Oct 26, 2019
Messages
21
Location
Oakland, CA
One trick that chases bullies away, is learning how to make what they are attempting to do, VERY obvious. The instant they came close to me, I LAUGHED as loud as I could and keep laughing. They thought I was insane, and decided not to bother me anymore. Acting crazy WORKS. You can't let the past dictate your present, and when it does, you need to talk to your therapist and learn how to let that sh** go. Life is too short to waste it dwelling in bad memories.
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
342
Location
On The Train
I was also bullied a lot at school but also at home. Wherever I go, I seem to attract bullies. Bullies can see a hurting person and will target them.

I think about my experiences being bullied often. I was also in several abusive relationships with men who bullied me. I believe due to the bullying I was not able to develop proper social skills and I have trouble interacting with people.

I moved past it by trying to be nice and thoughtful towards everyone I meet. I do obsess over my actions and will feel like I may be rude or hurt someone's feelings and feel bad about stuff. Sometimes I find myself just wanting to isolate but I will miss out on potentially good experiences. I wonder if my bullies ever regretted their actions.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
10,542
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
I was also bullied a lot at school but also at home. Wherever I go, I seem to attract bullies. Bullies can see a hurting person and will target them.

I think about my experiences being bullied often. I was also in several abusive relationships with men who bullied me. I believe due to the bullying I was not able to develop proper social skills and I have trouble interacting with people.

I moved past it by trying to be nice and thoughtful towards everyone I meet. I do obsess over my actions and will feel like I may be rude or hurt someone's feelings and feel bad about stuff. Sometimes I find myself just wanting to isolate but I will miss out on potentially good experiences. I wonder if my bullies ever regretted their actions.
Sadly, i dont think bullies do ever regret bullying others :(
 
I

indigo6

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
856
Location
UK
Sorry to all who have had to endure these weak thickos. They are degenerates you know lol.
Fight bullies with fire. Acting mad is a great idea, lol. That will spin their heads they wont know what to do next. They will look to their little cluster.
Or be utterly cruel to them, act like them, pick on whatever they hold dear, rip into it. Make fun. See if they like that medicine.Its the only language they speak after all.
It is against my nature to be personal and unkind but I can switch hats for the greater good.
 
Top